I was an atheist for years. At the time, I couldn’t see the contradictions in it. I believed layers upon layers of lies. I didn’t doubt it until I was pressed on it. Objective vs subjective morality, I didn’t realise that subjective means that it doesn’t exist.
I had an eating disorder. I was told that baptism is real so I got baptised. Something real happened. I was set free. The “harsh inner critic” left me, the obsessive compulsive urge left, control left, I was left with silence in my head and complete peace. I now know because of that that God is real and baptism is powerful.
First to say that we are all so happy for you, that the
burden you'd suffered under is lifted, and you feel
peace and happiness.
I am far from peace and happiness in my own life, for
my own reasons. You've done well.
To what you said about being an atheist, I wonder if you mean you were raised with some religion, and then fell away from it?
Curious too, what contradictions you see in atheism.
I seen none, so, what am I missing?
I can only guess what layers of lies you may have been
told, or told yourself, Care to share?
One difference I see in us-I always doubt.
Another, I dont agree at all that "subjective" means it does not exist. i'd sa rather than "objective" morality
is an illusion, and no example can be given.
I am no psychologist or psychiatrist, still less a
tele-psychologist, so I cannot do much but make my
own guess from my own pov about your experience.
But your eating disorder, say, would be about someting
eating at you. (sorry, could not resist)
If I were dealing with the harsh cognitive dissonance of
forcing myself to believe lies, well, i am sure it would
come out in various disorders, maybe not the ones
you experienced, then, something.
There must have been tremendous pressure in your
mind, begging for release, and so wonderful for you
that you found it!