At least it was clean. 
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Clean Jokes.
- Thread starter DawudTalut
- Start date
Ok, another try:
I just found out that Orubouros (the snake eating its own tail) symbolizes the ability of old men to tell the same stories endlessly and also their inability to change their minds about anything.
I just found out that Orubouros (the snake eating its own tail) symbolizes the ability of old men to tell the same stories endlessly and also their inability to change their minds about anything.
Person1 was walking around a very big hole repeatedly saying 32 32 32 32 32...
Person2 saw him, went to him with a puzzled face and asked him "yo, what are you doing?"
Person1 grabs person2, throws him in the hole and repeatedly says 33 33 33 33 33...
:flirt:
Person2 saw him, went to him with a puzzled face and asked him "yo, what are you doing?"
Person1 grabs person2, throws him in the hole and repeatedly says 33 33 33 33 33...
:flirt:
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Someone went inside a mosque with a big sharp knife and ask in a clearly heard voice "who's Muslim among you?", no one answered, except for one brave man; "I am" he said.
The man with the knife says "come with me". Both went out.
The man with the knife, "please slaughter and skin this sheep for me in the Islamic way".
The Muslims replied, I'll slaughter it for you, but I'm not good at skinning it. Go ask if there is anyone else in the mosque can do it.
The man with the knife went back to the mosque with the big knife in his hand covered with blood and asked, "is there another Muslim here?".
Everyone pointed at the imam.
The imam yelled at them: "hey, just because I prayed for you, you made a Muslim out of me?"!!!
Moral: if your car's A/C is not working, fix it before summers comes!
The man with the knife says "come with me". Both went out.
The man with the knife, "please slaughter and skin this sheep for me in the Islamic way".
The Muslims replied, I'll slaughter it for you, but I'm not good at skinning it. Go ask if there is anyone else in the mosque can do it.
The man with the knife went back to the mosque with the big knife in his hand covered with blood and asked, "is there another Muslim here?".
Everyone pointed at the imam.
The imam yelled at them: "hey, just because I prayed for you, you made a Muslim out of me?"!!!
Moral: if your car's A/C is not working, fix it before summers comes!
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Not Safe For Work?
How come?
(well, this is what google gave me :
Well
First one I saw you were thirty-ish. Then a young graduate. Then a baby. Now barely born.....
Tom
BSM1
What? Me worry?
A guy wanted to go duck hunting so he hired a local legendary guide. The guide always guaranteed a duck, and he worked for fifty dollars a day and a fifth of whiskey. The hunter agreed so the guide rowed out to middle of a lake, told the hunter to wait quietly, and proceeded to get drunk. A couple of hours go by with no ducks. The hunter was getting discouraged and the the guide was almost passed out in the boat. Eventually a single duck flew over and the hunter started blasting away with his shotgun. The hunter missed every shot but the guide reached over, picked up his .22 rifle, steadied himself, and shot the head off the duck.
"That," said the hunter, "was the most amazing shot I have ever seen."
"Wasn't that great," slurred the guide. "I should have got two or three out of a flock like that."
"That," said the hunter, "was the most amazing shot I have ever seen."
"Wasn't that great," slurred the guide. "I should have got two or three out of a flock like that."
DawudTalut
Peace be upon you.
A: Did you check, matches were of good quality before you bought them/
B: Yes, I checked each stick, it burnt well.
Teacher: 'I am handsome.' This sentence is example of which tense?
Student: Past tense sentence because the era of your beauty has passed.
B: Yes, I checked each stick, it burnt well.
Teacher: 'I am handsome.' This sentence is example of which tense?
Student: Past tense sentence because the era of your beauty has passed.
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My five year old daughters current fave...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Who
Who Who?
What are you, an owl??
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Who
Who Who?
What are you, an owl??
Wife to husband: how many times have you cheated on me?
Husband: as many hairs I have on my head.
Wife goes to room and cries... she then remembers that her husband is bald!
Wife goes back to husband and hits him on his bald head and says: take that you over grown bald baby
Husband: as many hairs I have on my head.
Wife goes to room and cries... she then remembers that her husband is bald!
Wife goes back to husband and hits him on his bald head and says: take that you over grown bald baby
That was a clean shaven joke.
DawudTalut
Peace be upon you.
Peace be on all.
A: Why you are late today?
B: It was mud on the road due to rain, when I took a step forward, I slipped two steps backward.
A: So how did you to manage to come?
B: I kept face toward home.
Visitor: I am waiting since hour, what is your father doing inside the house?
Child: Waiting for you to go.
Gardner: Come down from fruit tree, or I will complaint to your father.
Child: Do not worry, he is on the other tree.
Beggar to other beggar: Dear, you used to sit on that bridge, you were earning thousands there, why changed place?
Other beggar: I gave that bridge as marriage-gift to my son.
Son: Father, my friend's father call him as 'my star or my moon'. Why do you call me 'O donkey'.
Father: Because his father is an astronomer and I am veterinary doctor.
A: Why you are late today?
B: It was mud on the road due to rain, when I took a step forward, I slipped two steps backward.
A: So how did you to manage to come?
B: I kept face toward home.
Visitor: I am waiting since hour, what is your father doing inside the house?
Child: Waiting for you to go.
Gardner: Come down from fruit tree, or I will complaint to your father.
Child: Do not worry, he is on the other tree.
Beggar to other beggar: Dear, you used to sit on that bridge, you were earning thousands there, why changed place?
Other beggar: I gave that bridge as marriage-gift to my son.
Son: Father, my friend's father call him as 'my star or my moon'. Why do you call me 'O donkey'.
Father: Because his father is an astronomer and I am veterinary doctor.
- Daddy, daddy...the house is burning down!
- All right...follow me, and let's get out of here. But be quiet, I don't want you to wake mom up.
- All right...follow me, and let's get out of here. But be quiet, I don't want you to wake mom up.
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Husband and wife:
Husband: honey, would you like to have a nice week-end this time?
Wife: Of course
Husband: See you on Monday, then
Husband: honey, would you like to have a nice week-end this time?
Wife: Of course
Husband: See you on Monday, then
Viker
Your beloved eccentric Auntie Cristal
:clap