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Clean Jokes.

Estro Felino

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
An actress is interviewed

Interviewer: I have to acknowledge that thanks to your show, theaters are full of people, lately!
Actress: well...actually mine is a tv show.
Interviewer: precisely. people turn on the TV, they see that there is your show and say: "well...Let's go to the theater..."
 
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DawudTalut

DawudTalut

Peace be upon you.
Peace be on you.
REWRITTEN WITH CORRECTION:

Store manger: Sir, we are telling you since last 3 days that we cannot sell this thing to you but you are keep coming with changed appearances.

Customer: Ok, so you noticed it, tell me how did you recognize me each time?

Store manager: The thing you keep asking about as a cupboard, is actually a refrigerator!
 
Alceste

Alceste

Vagabond
Two elderly couples are playing bridge together when one man asks the other if there are any good restaurants around. The other says "oh, yes, the missus and I found a wonderful place only yesterday. Now what was it called? Hmm.... Let's see... Um, what's that flower, smells sweet, very romantic...?" His guest says "Rose?" "That's it! Hey Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to yesterday?"
 
S

Smart_Guy

...
Premium Member
Teacher: give an example of a useful insect.

Student: hmm... a bee!

Teacher: excellent. Give another example of a useful insect.

Student: erm... ah... another bee!
 
Estro Felino

Estro Felino

Believer in free will
Premium Member
Alceste said:
Two elderly couples are playing bridge together when one man asks the other if there are any good restaurants around. The other says "oh, yes, the missus and I found a wonderful place only yesterday. Now what was it called? Hmm.... Let's see... Um, what's that flower, smells sweet, very romantic...?" His guest says "Rose?" "That's it! Hey Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to yesterday?"
Click to expand...

ha ha. nice
 
dantech

dantech

Well-Known Member
Two muffins in an oven.
The first one says: "Man it's hot in here!"
The other one answers: " OMG, a talking muffin!"

For those who speak French:

Une lime rentre dans une Banque pour un hold-up. Du coup, Il crie: "Pas un zest!"
 
Draupadi

Draupadi

Active Member
A bunch of people were hanging from a rope attached to a plane. Among them was a teacher, some engineers and a few doctors. The pilot announced that one of them have to let go to save everyone. Then the teacher said, "I am the teacher so I will sacrifice myself. So everyone please clap for me." The others clapped and the rope became lighter. Well he is the teacher so don't mess with him. And belated Happy Teacher's Day.
 
Viker

Viker

Your beloved eccentric Auntie Cristal
One blonde was on one side of the river and there was another blonde on the other side of the river. One blonde yells to the other blonde, "How do you get to the other side?" and the other blonde yells back, "You are on the other side!"
 
DawudTalut

DawudTalut

Peace be upon you.
Peace be on all.....As a starter of this thread "Clean Jokes", may I request to keep the jokes clean. Basically it is a religious forum and there has to distinction b/n clean and dirty jokes..No offence. Thanks.

"Dirty jokes are based on taboo, often sexual, content or vocabulary."
source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke#Types_of_jokes
 
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S

Smart_Guy

...
Premium Member
Brunette: please call me a cab.

Blonde: you're a cab.

Brunette: *face palm* I can't blame you. It's in your genes.

Blonde: *searches in the pockets of her jeans and says there is nothing in her Jeans*
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Draupadi said:
Can you explain the dancing angels on the pin? My mind is messed up with Muslim Atheism's theories and maybe that's why I didn't find it funny :(.
Click to expand...

There was a group of philosophers during the European Middle Ages called the "Scholastics". They placed so much emphasis on exceedingly finely wrought logic that folks made fun of them. One of the more popular jokes was that the Scholastics endlessly debated how many angels could logically be known to dance on the head of a pin at once. In reality, the Scholastics never debated that particular subject but the joke was witty enough that it became more famous than the Scholastics themselves.
 
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DawudTalut

DawudTalut

Peace be upon you.
Peace be on all.

CLEAN JOKE IN PICTURE
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CatLionMirror.jpg

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S

Smart_Guy

...
Premium Member
Jojo: hey guys, let's go to the sun.

Guys: are you crazy? We will burn there!

Jojo: oh... okay then, lets go there at night.
 
DawudTalut

DawudTalut

Peace be upon you.
Peace be on all.
A man went to a village and announced, they should be good host to hi, otherwise: "I shall do to you what I did with last village."

People became afraid, and treated him well, then asked him, what he did to previous people?

He said when they refused to keep me, i simply went from there.




Doctor: The cure for your weight gain is that you should eat 2 slices of bread daily.
Fat person: Ok, But should I eat these 2 slices before all or after my 10 meals a day?



An astronomer was watching stars with his telescope at night. Suddenly, a shooting star was seen across the sky....... His very naive helper was standing nearby, he murmured: What a straight fire!
 
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