Could forgive your lover?

[Godobeyer]

Hello everyone

This question came to my mind yesterday to make thread when I saw a TV program about talk about infidelity in world,some Asian countries like Thailand, and Danemark, Germany, and UK had high rate , reach to less or more than 50%


My question is , would you forgive your lover if he/she cheat on you,he/she ask forgiveness ,OR get seperate with him/her ?

Did you forgave your lover before for cheat on you before ?

NOTE:
I meant by cheating "sexual one".
-voters of the poll are visible

 

[Laika]

Voted for the first option (a guy forgiving their hypothetical lover). I'm ok with open relationships in theory. I have never had to put it into practice though.

I think it depends more on how vicious the lying is than sleeping around. I could forgive someone sleeping with someone else (it happens) but the lying might be the reason I'd seperate.

 

[Laika]

"This poll will close on January 23 2100 at 11:15am": I hope I'm around to see it, lol.

 

[Sunstone]

Outside sex in the context of an open relationship is one thing -- I'm ok with that. But cheating, that's something else. You're not cheating if you and your partner have agreed to an open relationship. You're only cheating if you've promised your partner a closed relationship and then broken that promise. I don't know beforehand whether I would forgive someone cheating on me. It would depend on the circumstances and their reasons for the cheating, I suppose.

 

[Madhuri]

I think that I would find it very hard to forgive a partner who cheats on me. Under certain circumstances I might be forgiving but under those circumstances (like if I'm not able to have sex for a very long time) I might give my partner permission to have sex so it wouldn't be cheating. The thing is, even if my partner only did it once, was really drunk or something, was really regretful and promised to never do it again, I think I'd have trouble trusting and therefore I think the relationship would suffer and fail in the end.

 

[Sunstone]

Sometimes people cheat for no better reason than it's pretty much human nature to be foolish at times. I'd find that easier to forgive than I would being cheated on because my partner was pissed at me and wanted revenge. The latter is more an ugly, calculated act, as I see it, than simple human folly.

 

[Koldo]

Hello everyone

This question came to my mind yesterday to make thread when I saw a TV program about talk about infidelity in world,some Asian countries like Thailand, and Danemark, Germany, and UK had high rate , reach to less or more than 50%


My question is , would you forgive your lover if he/she cheat on you,he/she ask forgiveness ,OR get seperate with him/her ?

Did you forgave your lover before for cheat on you before ?

NOTE:
I meant by cheating "sexual one".
-voters of the poll are visible

Depends on the circumstance. There are just so many factors.

 

[Koldo]

Sometimes people cheat for no better reason than it's pretty much human nature to be foolish at times. I'd find that easier to forgive than I would being cheated on because my partner was pissed at me and wanted revenge. The latter is more an ugly, calculated act, as I see it, than simple human folly.

Likewise, it would be much easier for me to forgive a one night thing than an ongoing ( sexual/romantic ) relationship.
I don't think I could forgive the latter.

 

[Godobeyer]

Depends on the circumstance. There are just so many factors.

Is there a justifications in cheating ?!!

for exemple ?

 

[Scuba Pete]

A friend was caught cheating by his wife. She was fairly nonplussed which really perplexed him. That is, until he found out she was cheating as well. He blew up and then perpetrated a murder suicide. Fortunately, they did not have children.

Here's the thing... I had lunch with him the day of the incident. Yes, he was distraught about his wife's cheating. But he certainly didn't give any indication he was going to end both of their lives that night. He dumped about both affairs and it turned into a very long lunch. He was able to justify his cheating, but he just couldn't get past the emotional hurt of being cheated on. I thought we had worked through most of his issues. At least he wasn't morose as we parted. I remember telling him to get some professional help and he was actually heading over to see his shrink after our lunch. I also remember, and with a lot of guilt, telling him that he shouldn't do anything whacko and that I didn't want to read about him in the news. I was devastated then and I'm crying as I write this now. I will miss Charlie.

So, I chose "Forgive". No matter how badly some one betrays you, you've probably done the same, if no where else but in your mind. Let it go. Learn to put the errors and even betrayals of others into a proper perspective. No one is perfect and that includes you and me. Learn to control your emotions, both insanely positive and deadly negative. Learn to forgive now with little things. That way you'll be able to forgive when faced with something far bigger.

 

[Kirran]

There are mitigating factors, perhaps. In the field of human relationships, catch-all solutions and responses are rather lacking!

 

[Eliab ben Benjamin]

No lover, nothing to forgive

 

[Koldo]

Is there a justifications in cheating ?!!

for exemple ?

It is not about 'justification'.
Do you want one example where I would forgive my spouse ?
If I find out that 20 years ago she got drunk and had sex with a random dude after we had a ( verbal ) fight, I wouldn't break up our relationship because of that. That alone wouldn't be sufficient.

 

[Aštra’el]

Monogomy is overrated. I belong to no one individual, and I enjoy my freedoms, even when I am in love or exploring a relationship.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Hello everyone

This question came to my mind yesterday to make thread when I saw a TV program about talk about infidelity in world,some Asian countries like Thailand, and Danemark, Germany, and UK had high rate , reach to less or more than 50%


My question is , would you forgive your lover if he/she cheat on you,he/she ask forgiveness ,OR get seperate with him/her ?

Did you forgave your lover before for cheat on you before ?

NOTE:
I meant by cheating "sexual one".
-voters of the poll are visible

Yes. I would trust her knowing how we are. Ive had grudges on people but never against them to where forgiveness is out. Even if I am not ready to forgive them verbally, I have to forgive them internally first.

I couldnt take the poll. Yes. I am a woman and I would forgive her if she cheated on me.

 

[PeteC-UK]

Hi Folks...

Forgiveness is easy - the trick is always first - know your own Self and what it is that YOU TRULY DESIRE - work from THAT truth and keep it in Mind always....if you LOVE the other and it is legitimate then you will wish whatever is good for them yes..?..Even if that means hurt and grief for you STILL you will wish to see them prosper choose FREELY that which they desire to Be.....Cheating - sexual infidelity - is the hardest to forgive - really messes with the emotions - really makes you question the LEGITIMACY of the love you think you hold - it tests it severely...its ok if it fails that test - its ok if the Other fails time after time - it matters not - just means they as yet, do not know THEIR truth such as you know YOUR truth... Here I will offer some advise for any who struggles with this - remember and take it to heart - LOVE is NOT "sexual desire" - it is NEVER just that alone - that sexual element is just one factor among many - let it sink in deep....when the spouse next disappoints so - try to remember this truth and see past the surface Mind storm that will inevitably arise......

But look if you can do this - if YOU remember who YOU ARE and what you intended and desired here in this relationship with them - then really whatever they do, it cannot affect YOUR emotion toward them...you may react here at the surface mind of course - but if your love is true legitimate, then it will go very very deep beyond this surface delusion...

Relationships - are primarily about coming to KNOW THE SELF rather than about getting to know the Other... When you find the Self first then you WILL FIND LOVE for that IS what you are...And look - when you know the Self then and only then can you love the Other fully - and when that happens then no matter WHAT they do your bond with them remains unaffected - your living truth remains unaffected - and look - you forgive them without any effort at all - quite naturally and no matter what they do for you understand it is an action taken in IGNORANCE of their Self - and they in turn see this "thing" about you - this truth you hold as you are LIVING it and they will wish to have it for their own Self - and so if you love and forgive them truly, legitimately, then they too will begin to emulate that - fior as said we RE a Being of Love - alow them - teach them to realise this about them Self - and remember always that Love is NOT sex.....

 

[Godobeyer]

Yes. I would trust her knowing how we are. Ive had grudges on people but never against them to where forgiveness is out. Even if I am not ready to forgive them verbally, I have to forgive them internally first.

I couldnt take the poll. Yes. I am a woman and I would forgive her if she cheated on me.

Are you lesbian !?

 

[Godobeyer]

This really weird, I am shocked, I don't expect that will be one single Yes vote to "I am man,Yes I will forgive my lover,if she cheat on me.", there is 5 YES lol

 

[Shadow Wolf]

To me, it's not about who they are having sex with, it's who they are being intimate with.

 

[Ana.J]

For me it all depends on the person. If he cheats, I want to find out the cause. If it was the lack of communication or something I did wrong, I will try to fix this and forgive him. But if he did that out of love for another woman.....You know, men view sex as just sex, but for women, sex is love. So I would find out the cause first.