Dating Preferences: Bigotry or a Right?

[YmirGF]

Or, on the other hand, what is wrong with transsexuals expecting to live as close to a normal life as possible?

I have no problem with that as long as folks are frank and honest. If folks knew, from the onset, that someone is grappling with pretty intense issues, they just might be compassionate. Call me silly.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I have no problem with that as long as folks are frank and honest. If folks knew, from the onset, that someone is grappling with pretty intense issues, they just might be compassionate. Call me silly.

I'm not grappling with my gender identity. I'm just a dude.

 

[YmirGF]

And, really, what other things are expected to be disclosed? Diseases, sometimes, which makes sense as those can spread and it can effect public health. But bondage? Furrydom? Kinks? Fetishes? Histories? Where else do expect anything remotely comparable to bear this burden of the expectation of "full disclosure?"

Trust me, ShadowWolf, you don't want to surprise me with any of this, lol. Just tell it like it is.

 

[YmirGF]

I'm not grappling with my gender identity. I'm just a dude.

I really like you, Frankie, but don't you think your expectations could be problematic? How is it working so far?

 

[McBell]

Or, on the other hand, what is wrong with transsexuals expecting to live as close to a normal life as possible?

How does keeping the fact they are trans a secret going to accomplish that?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Or, on the other hand, what is wrong with transsexuals expecting to live as close to a normal life as possible?

We'll just start wearing badges declaring that we're trans and what genitals we have so we don't ick out the people whose penises and vaginas get all in a tizzy over us. Don't want to make them uncomfortable, now.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I have no problem with that as long as folks are frank and honest. If folks knew, from the onset, that someone is grappling with pretty intense issues, they just might be compassionate. Call me silly.

Being expected to disclose your medical information and history is not a part of a normal life.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I really like you, Frankie, but don't you think your expectations could be problematic? How is it working so far?

Which expectations of mine are you referring to? I don't have issues dating, when I bother trying. I've never been rejected because I'm trans.

 

[Buttercup]

And, really, what other things are expected to be disclosed? Diseases, sometimes, which makes sense as those can spread and it can effect public health. But bondage? Furrydom? Kinks? Fetishes? Histories? Where else do expect anything remotely comparable to bear this burden of the expectation of "full disclosure?"

If a straight male thinks a trans woman has the traditional female parts, such as in my example in post #209, he has a right to know otherwise. He may still very much enjoy the company of the woman but is no longer interested in sex.

I can't comprehend why that's so hard to understand.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

How does keeping the fact they are trans a secret going to accomplish that?

Because it's expecting us to admit to the world we are different, we don't live up to your expectations, we don't deserve the freedoms you do, and to perpetuate your own dislikings, disapprovals, and non-accepting attitutes.

 

[McBell]

And, really, what other things are expected to be disclosed? Diseases, sometimes, which makes sense as those can spread and it can effect public health. But bondage? Furrydom? Kinks? Fetishes? Histories? Where else do expect anything remotely comparable to bear this burden of the expectation of "full disclosure?"

Seems to me you do not have to disclose anything at all.
Though do not be surprised that there may well be backlash if it comes out anyway.

OASN: (on a side note)
If you were with someone and they did not tell you something you believe to be a big deal, are you not going to wonder what else they are keeping secret?

OASN: (on another side note)
How can any one expect to be accepted for who/what they are if who/what they are is being kept a secret?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

If a straight male thinks a trans woman has the traditional female parts, such as in my example in post #209, he has a right to know otherwise. He may still very much enjoy the company of the woman but is no longer interested in sex.

I can't comprehend why that's so hard to understand.

In that case I can understand it, because a pre-op transsexual may not even have what the person is sexually interested in.
And, as I said, I'm more concerned with the post-op acceptance (more like rejection), as that is when people really have to grasp at straws and no matter what excuse they try to give there is something to counter it.

 

[McBell]

We'll just start wearing badges declaring that we're trans and what genitals we have so we don't ick out the people whose penises and vaginas get all in a tizzy over us. Don't want to make them uncomfortable, now.

For the general public, what does it matter what they think?
For someone who you want to accept you for who/what you are......

 

[YmirGF]

Being expected to disclose your medical information and history is not a part of a normal life.

To be perfectly frank, neither is being trans...

If a straight male thinks a trans woman has the traditional female parts, such as in my example in post #209, he has a right to know otherwise. He may still very much enjoy the company of the woman but is no longer interested in sex.

I can't comprehend why that's so hard to understand.

IT's sort of like with my host of women friends. I told them I was gay pretty early on in our relationships and we've been great friends for decades in most cases.

 

[Buttercup]

In that case I can understand it, because a pre-op transsexual may not even have what the person is sexually interested in.
And, as I said, I'm more concerned with the post-op acceptance (more like rejection), as that is when people really have to grasp at straws and no matter what excuse they try to give there is something to counter it.

It still comes back to communication. There's no other way around it. No badge wearing, no giant public proclamations are necessary but if there's ever a time when honest communication before the relationship proceeds further is warranted, this is it.

 

[YmirGF]

In that case I can understand it, because a pre-op transsexual may not even have what the person is sexually interested in.
And, as I said, I'm more concerned with the post-op acceptance (more like rejection), as that is when people really have to grasp at straws and no matter what excuse they try to give there is something to counter it.

Actually, post-op is a different kettle of fish. No pun intended. Then I can see the bigotry aspect.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Though do not be surprised that there may well be backlash if it comes out anyway.

That fact that you mention backlash indicates the problem is not within transsexuals, but those give this "backlash" over something that really isn't a serious issue.

How can any one expect to be accepted for who/what they are if who/what they are is being kept a secret?

It's that I expect acceptance on my terms, not on the terms that are defined based on nothing more than "comfort zone" standards defined by the majority. If I give in, I perpetuate that their standards are acceptable, that I should cater to them, but it is not acceptable.

 

[McBell]

Because it's expecting us to admit to the world we are different, we don't live up to your expectations, we don't deserve the freedoms you do, and to perpetuate your own dislikings, disapprovals, and non-accepting attitutes.

Why the hell would you want to be with that type of person in the first place?

 

[Revoltingest]

Actually, post-op is a different kettle of fish. No pun intended. Then I can see the bigotry aspect.

Even then, people seeking romance & sex are fully entitled to their personal preferences, peccadilloes, perversions & prejudices.
This is far different from ordinary socializing, friendships, & other non-intimate relationships.
Moreover, those desiring biological children have an objective reason to prefer fecund folk.

 

[McBell]

That fact that you mention backlash indicates the problem is not within transsexuals, but those give this "backlash" over something that really isn't a serious issue.

I never said nor implied which party has "the issue".
The fact of the matter is that there are and most likely always will be those who have issues with it.
Not to mention those who would not have had an issue with it had the trans been up front and honest about it to begin with.

It's that I expect acceptance on my terms, not on the terms that are defined based on nothing more than "comfort zone" standards defined by the majority. If I give in, I perpetuate that their standards are acceptable, that I should cater to them, but it is not acceptable.

Rather hypocritical, is it not, to expect you accepted on your terms to hell with theirs?