Deidre's Journey

[Deidre]

I adore this painting. It looks like some of the artwork I really enjoy.

I love it too, especially the girl swinging...freeeeee. lol Free from the oppression of religion is what came to mind.

Some Christians do let their church culture dictate what they do, and some have a really, really, (insert emphatic word here) hard time not controlling others. It's sick, in a lot of ways, how some people try to control others.

Yea. I agree. Do you ever think that Christianity as a whole is really little more than a man-made faith designed to control the masses? Even in my most religious theistic moments, I felt that way. But, still ''took up my cross'' and trotted onward.

Good for you for not taking their crap. Obviously you and I have different religious beliefs, but if they don't encourage you to seek truth regardless of what it is, you don't need them around.

I think part of the problem with religion in general, is that it really becomes an extension of one's own ego. If I attack your faith, then I must be attacking you, and so on. This is one of the many reasons, I came to see theism as a man-made invention. If it can change from person to person, if the actual story-line can change from person to person...generation to generation...century to century...religion to religion...then, how can it be true? Truth never changes. I'm not debating you, lol I'm just saying.

 

[Desert Snake]

Yea. I agree. Do you ever think that Christianity as a whole is really little more than a man-made faith designed to control the masses? Even in my most religious theistic moments, I felt that way. But, still ''took up my cross'' and trotted onward.

The cross is a symbol, Jesus told the followers to take up their /crosses, pre-christian symbols, and follow him. No person can become a christ, and Jesua did not tell people to
Anyways, I hope you are ...resisting... those... ideas...
Those religious ideas...because you really want to be an atheist..


Dont let any person tell you what religion to follow!

Heres nh heres to your atheism regards

 

[Sclavus]

Yea. I agree. Do you ever think that Christianity as a whole is really little more than a man-made faith designed to control the masses? Even in my most religious theistic moments, I felt that way. But, still ''took up my cross'' and trotted onward.

Christianity is man-made. Jesus said, "Follow Me," but He wasn't the one to call it Christianity. I think "Following Him" has turned into what we call Christianity today. It's been mutated over the years as people have corrupted it.

I took up my cross when I left my church. That was a good thing for me to do, but the circumstances around it were painful. From the outside, I've seen where churches manipulate and control their congregations on nearly cultic levels.

I think part of the problem with religion in general, is that it really becomes an extension of one's own ego. If I attack your faith, then I must be attacking you, and so on. This is one of the many reasons, I came to see theism as a man-made invention. If it can change from person to person, if the actual story-line can change from person to person...generation to generation...century to century...religion to religion...then, how can it be true? Truth never changes. I'm not debating you, lol I'm just saying.

You're singing my song, Deidre. Truth doesn't change, but the church has, in many ways. I think the truth is still readily available, but a lot of Christians are more comfortable attending their social clubs on Sunday morning. It's painful to watch people use religion to massage their egos and manipulate the gullible.

 

[Desert Snake]

Statiscally, you can resist.
Recently, atheism lost another to theism..


Why...
Whyy, it seems like atheism cannot get a upper hand statiscally?,

You can resist,thank you
Deidre, we are cheering for you

 

[Deidre]

Christianity is man-made. Jesus said, "Follow Me," but He wasn't the one to call it Christianity. I think "Following Him" has turned into what we call Christianity today. It's been mutated over the years as people have corrupted it.

I took up my cross when I left my church. That was a good thing for me to do, but the circumstances around it were painful. From the outside, I've seen where churches manipulate and control their congregations on nearly cultic levels.

I've never heard it described like this, hmmm.

You're singing my song, Deidre. Truth doesn't change, but the church has, in many ways. I think the truth is still readily available, but a lot of Christians are more comfortable attending their social clubs on Sunday morning. It's painful to watch people use religion to massage their egos and manipulate the gullible.

Agree. And that can happen in any religion, really. I think that it becomes more about ''belonging'' than belonging to God, or the faith. What do you personally think Truth is, for you? Truth with a capital 't', that is.

Statiscally, you can resist.
Recently, atheism lost another to theism..


Why...
Whyy, it seems like atheism cannot get a upper hand statiscally?,

You can resist,thank you
Deidre, we are cheering for you

lol You are funny. Thank you, I think that emotionally, my heart is getting over what it couldn't get past before. Until someone else I love dies. lol jk

 

[Sclavus]

Agree. And that can happen in any religion, really. I think that it becomes more about ''belonging'' than belonging to God, or the faith. What do you personally think Truth is, for you? Truth with a capital 't', that is.

I'm still working through what Truth is, in many ways. I could give you the canned answer of God being three but one, Jesus is the Son of God, etc., and I do believe it, but it's still a canned answer. For my part, I want a deeper understanding of love toward others. If I had to pick a goal in life, that's it: let me understand love.

 

[Desert Snake]

lol You are funny. Thank you, I think that emotionally,

I'm not much of a christian, and dont assume that I'm some saint, lol.
I think you have to consider what will/wont work, for you.

 

[Deidre]

I'm still working through what Truth is, in many ways. I could give you the canned answer of God being three but one, Jesus is the Son of God, etc., and I do believe it, but it's still a canned answer. For my part, I want a deeper understanding of love toward others. If I had to pick a goal in life, that's it: let me understand love.

Maybe that is the quest everyone is on? What is love? I used to think that God is love. I feel now that if a god exists...he/it is the embodiment of all love. Not like human love, though. Beyond that. Better than that, you know?

 

[Deidre]

I'm not much of a christian, and dont assume that I'm some saint, lol.
I think you have to consider what will/wont work, for you.

hahaha I never assumed you are a saint, @syncretic

 

[Sclavus]

Maybe that is the quest everyone is on? What is love? I used to think that God is love. I feel now that if a god exists...he/it is the embodiment of all love. Not like human love, though. Beyond that. Better than that, you know?

I think that's pretty well spot on.

 

[Deidre]

Okay. I just discovered Shawna Erbeck, whilst looking for something totally unrelated. I really like what I'm seeing so far. It's different.

So, today was a good day. I still wake up though habitually turning to prayer, and I'm catching myself. My heart still goes there, still wants there to be Someone listening. Someone watching over me. I wonder if I'll ever get past that part of it. Maybe it'll always be ingrained in me, Idk. I have often envied people who grew up without religion at all. They don't know how lucky they are to have never been taught what to believe before they were old enough to understand and reason. Oh well, I guess I just need to accept what is, and figure it out.

 

[Treks]

It took a couple of months for my mind to stop automatically chanting Waheguru.. Waheguru... but you'll come out of the habit, too. Have you considered looking into different philosophies instead of religions to fill the gap? Some philosophies come with quasi-spiritual exercises like meditations.

 

[Sclavus]

It took a while for my prayers to stop being formulaic. Even when I was an agnostic, the rituals were hard to break. At the encouragement of a friend, I forced myself away from Christian phrases like, "Dear Heavenly Father" and "in Jesus' name." After a while, I was still praying, but my prayers were more honest.

"God, I don't know if you're there, but today sucked." I talked as though speaking to an imaginary friend. I dared Him to prove Himself, told Him I was disappointed in Him, said all the things the church taught me were rude or foolish.

Even as a Christian now, that hasn't changed. If God hadn't shown up for me, it still would have helped to talk out my feelings. As you're leaning toward atheism, @Deidre, I recommend allowing yourself that freedom. Either God will respond or He won't, and at worst you'll develop a habit of talking to yourself, which can be like verbally journaling your thoughts.

Over time, I found my prayers became less frequent than when I'd prayed as a ritual. I don't call my friends up at the same time every day to tell them how I feel, and so it is with God. The more you force yourself to defy the ritual, the less you'll do it, until either God will show up or you'll stop talking to Him altogether.

 

[Deidre]

I think you're so right. There are days I feel guilty for not praying...I think that I should be thanking God for numerous things like I've habitually done. I'm grateful to be able to share all of this here with people who understand and don't judge me. I don't know if I've ever really talked to myself lol like I've never developed a trust for my own intuition because of faith. In some ways, I feel that Christianity implies we are arrogant for relying on self. What do you think?

It took a while for my prayers to stop being formulaic. Even when I was an agnostic, the rituals were hard to break. At the encouragement of a friend, I forced myself away from Christian phrases like, "Dear Heavenly Father" and "in Jesus' name." After a while, I was still praying, but my prayers were more honest.

"God, I don't know if you're there, but today sucked." I talked as though speaking to an imaginary friend. I dared Him to prove Himself, told Him I was disappointed in Him, said all the things the church taught me were rude or foolish.

Even as a Christian now, that hasn't changed. If God hadn't shown up for me, it still would have helped to talk out my feelings. As you're leaning toward atheism, @Deidre, I recommend allowing yourself that freedom. Either God will respond or He won't, and at worst you'll develop a habit of talking to yourself, which can be like verbally journaling your thoughts.

Over time, I found my prayers became less frequent than when I'd prayed as a ritual. I don't call my friends up at the same time every day to tell them how I feel, and so it is with God. The more you force yourself to defy the ritual, the less you'll do it, until either God will show up or you'll stop talking to Him altogether.

 

[Deidre]

A great quote for us all to think about:

"You're only one decision away from an entirely different life." - unknown

Choose wisely

 

[Deidre]

It took a couple of months for my mind to stop automatically chanting Waheguru.. Waheguru... but you'll come out of the habit, too. Have you considered looking into different philosophies instead of religions to fill the gap? Some philosophies come with quasi-spiritual exercises like meditations.

(((Treks))) Hi! I've looked into Buddhism mainly and have gleaned a lot from the principles. I think what is a hard habit to shake is looking towards a belief system to control my life like Christianity did. Learning that I'm in control of my destiny feels ...unsettling, but also really exciting all at the same time. Does that make sense?

 

[Sclavus]

I think you're so right. There are days I feel guilty for not praying...I think that I should be thanking God for numerous things like I've habitually done. I'm grateful to be able to share all of this here with people who understand and don't judge me. I don't know if I've ever really talked to myself lol like I've never developed a trust for my own intuition because of faith. In some ways, I feel that Christianity implies we are arrogant for relying on self. What do you think?

The way Christianity is taught, there does seem to be an emphasis on, "Just pray and let God sort it out." What I see in life is that we should do all we can, and ask God to work where we're unable. Modern Christianity as I've experienced it seems to emphasize a "let go and let God" attitude, rather than self-reliance. Christian Science seems to take it to an extreme, where they expect God to heal people without seeing a doctor. That attitude kills people, and is rather illuminating, in that regard.

 

[Deidre]

The way Christianity is taught, there does seem to be an emphasis on, "Just pray and let God sort it out." What I see in life is that we should do all we can, and ask God to work where we're unable. Modern Christianity as I've experienced it seems to emphasize a "let go and let God" attitude, rather than self-reliance. Christian Science seems to take it to an extreme, where they expect God to heal people without seeing a doctor. That attitude kills people, and is rather illuminating, in that regard.

I'm reminded of when Paul would talk about his weaknesses, and how 'when he is weak, God is strong.' And right there, is the emphasis on how we are not capable of being strong on our own. As a believer, I used to LOOOOVE that talk of the Bible. But, when you step away, and become a bit more objective to faith in general, you sort of see it a little differently. Not offensively, but if there is an almighty God...does he really need me to keep building him up? That said, when believers pay homage to God...it is to have a relationship with him. So, I get it.

Are you a moderate Christian, would you say?

 

[Deidre]

So, today is Tuesday. And it was a good day. A very thought provoking day. I used to have issues with my dad. We didn't always get along, in fact, we fought quite often ...and then when I returned to faith, I forgave his um...transgressions of how he treated me as a kid. He used to hit me, and belittle me, and then turn around and tell me he loved me. It's very confusing to grow up with these mixed messages portraying love, but that's kind of how I grew up. Fast forward to nearly two years ago when I returned to Christianity, I decided to forgive my father. We've grown pretty close these past nearly two years. And in some ways, I credit that to my belief in Jesus at that time. Jesus tells believers to forgive. So, I did. And here I am...at a crossroads, and just thinking about all of that, today. It's just weird how you can change your whole life, by just changing your thoughts on a particular topic. I've told my parents my leanings towards atheism again, and of course, they don't like the idea since they are devout Christians.

But, today was good because I continue to sort out these memories and feelings of mine, without asking God what he thinks. Not that if a god exists, he doesn't care...maybe he cares. But, maybe...just maybe...if a god exists, maybe he wants me to figure it out. To get to know myself. Who knows who god really is. I mean, the Bible tells one story about him, the Qu'ran tells another. Other religions tells a completely different story. I will continue following my mind and heart...and it's strange right now, a little unsettling, but I like the feeling of my own strength. I never really stood strong for very long without faith to guide me, somehow. And now I am.

So, that's today's update for Tuesday.

 

[Sclavus]

I'm reminded of when Paul would talk about his weaknesses, and how 'when he is weak, God is strong.' And right there, is the emphasis on how we are not capable of being strong on our own. As a believer, I used to LOOOOVE that talk of the Bible. But, when you step away, and become a bit more objective to faith in general, you sort of see it a little differently. Not offensively, but if there is an almighty God...does he really need me to keep building him up? That said, when believers pay homage to God...it is to have a relationship with him. So, I get it.

Are you a moderate Christian, would you say?

It depends on what you mean by "moderate Christian." Could you elaborate?

When Paul says God is strong in his weakness, I believe Paul is recognizing that aspect of God that provides for us when we "can't even," as the kids say these days. You and I see correctly God doesn't need us to build Him up. He doesn't need me to worship Him for His benefit. I worship Him for my own gain, to remember who He is to me.

I'm not afraid God is going to smite me if I don't tell Him how great He is. He can see my heart, so it's no use praising Him out of fear. He'd see the insincerity in that. I don't make a ritual of it, either. In my view, yes, I couldn't exist without God, and yes, I'd go to Hell if it weren't for Christ. It's true I have life in every regard because of God.

What's not true is the idea I'm entirely powerless. It's an insult to God and me to say God created me to be a puppet that can't do anything without God's almighty hand up my butt, making my mouth move and my body work. I can do a lot, but I'm still a finite being, and there's things only God can do, so where my ability ends (where I am weak), I call upon God to work (because He's strong). I believe that's what Paul was saying: God is stronger than I am.

So, today is Tuesday. And it was a good day. A very thought provoking day. I used to have issues with my dad. We didn't always get along, in fact, we fought quite often ...and then when I returned to faith, I forgave his um...transgressions of how he treated me as a kid. He used to hit me, and belittle me, and then turn around and tell me he loved me. It's very confusing to grow up with these mixed messages portraying love, but that's kind of how I grew up. Fast forward to nearly two years ago when I returned to Christianity, I decided to forgive my father. And in some ways, I credit that to my belief in Jesus at that time. Jesus tells believers to forgive. So, I did. And here I am...at a crossroads, and just thinking about all of that, today. It's just weird how you can change your whole life, by just changing your thoughts on a particular topic.

But, today was good because I continue to sort out these memories and feelings of mine, without asking God what he thinks. Not that if a god exists, he doesn't care...maybe he cares. But, maybe...just maybe...if a god exists, maybe he wants me to figure it out. To get to know myself. Who knows who god really is. I mean, the Bible tells one story about him, the Qu'ran tells another. Other religions tells a completely different story. I will continue following my mind and heart...and it's strange right now, a little unsettling, but I like the feeling of my own strength. I never really stood strong for very long without faith to guide me, somehow. And now I am.

So, that's today's update for Tuesday.

My dad is a Christian, but he was also abusive. I've had similar experiences, where Dad would yell at me, berate me, sometimes hit me, and then come back and tell me he loves me. God does tell me I should forgive my dad, but what good is it to do something just because you're supposed to?

I've learned to be more sincere, and it's helped to repair some of the damage. If I haven't forgiven someone, I don't pretend to have done so.

"Well it's wrong not to forgive," some Christians say.

I don't disagree, and I am in the wrong for not having forgiven. I'm an imperfect human, but I'd rather go on being unforgiving until I'm ready to forgive than pretend to let it go and not reach legitimate forgiveness. It's good to examine those memories and learn what you can, because when you do forgive, it makes it emotionally easier, and there's a greater sense of fulfillment in it.