☆Dreamwind☆
Active Member
Yeah I'm content with my beliefs. It's not nor has it ever been the sole reason for when I'm happy.
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I never had any anxiety attacks like that except when I was out in the car driving when there was weather conditions and I could not see well enough to drive.Try to stay aware of opportunities. Ten years ago I rarely left my house. I'd have anxiety attacks in the grocery store and be tempted to just lie down in the floor, right there. I never did, nor did I ever leave my cart just to get out of there. I did however often go check out after only picking up a few items on my long list.
I began a turn around by a dear neighbor that heard I might be Quaker and stopped by one day while I was reading on the porch to ask if I knew about the meeting only one town over. After discovering more about me, she ended up asking me if I'd be interested in joining her and a few others from her Baptist church to sing hymns with the residents of a rest home once a month. She's never pushed me about her church and has let others know there's no need, though they try anyway. But that once a month semi-commitment got me back into the world.
I eventually joined the same neighbor in a creative writing group that meets once a week. From there, I was introduced to the need for volunteers for an adult ESL class. And other opportunities are always popping up, but I'm as busy away from home as I want to be. Each brings me joy, sometimes big, sometimes small.
I feel the same way about the challenges facing me but I do not see it as a personal failing to NOT be able to maintain happiness since I am under no obligation to be happy. I will be happy when there is something to be happy about, not before.Right now I seem unable to live out the challenges life is throwing at me and maintain happiness.
If this is a personal failing, I accept it.
A new home in a new town, that sounds like a fantasy. I'd be happy just with the new home.I am an extrovert so it is killing me to be home alone in my new home in a new town.
Will you still be happy if that doesn't happen?Absolutely
Yes, it is my belief that Heaven and Hell are states of the soul, which is a state of the mind.Heaven or Hell (if those are your beliefs) is a state of mind. So you're not wrong technically.
Oh I plan to get out, believe me. I mean, this is way out of state and out of my town for sure, and my house is still a wreck. I just moved about two weeks ago. This home by the way, is well maintained but it's 75 years old! It's older than me!A new home in a new town, that sounds like a fantasy. I'd be happy just with the new home.
Since you are an extrovert is there a reason you don't get out? I am an introvert so I have no need to get out.
My house is and will probably remain a wreck. I found a great handyman last winter who came over and looked at work that needs to be done, but then he left the state and went down to Texas to do some work for a client. Meanwhile I have two rental homes that need work so my residence is always the last to have work done on it.Oh I plan to get out, believe me. I mean, this is way out of state and out of my town for sure, and my house is still a wreck. I just moved about two weeks ago. This home by the way, is well maintained but it's 75 years old! It's older than me!
Let me clarify, there isn't a "me" as in this named personality that reincarnates. So this question doesn't really apply.Will you still be happy if that doesn't happen?
Then I think you should reevaluate the way you see the world perhaps. If your state of mind is "to return is the worst thing imaginable" to me then would mean you already are in Hell mentally.Yes, it is my belief that Heaven and Hell are states of the soul, which is a state of the mind.
Originally I had two cats, from the early 1980s until the late 1990s.
After that I had a much larger number of cats, but now I only have 8 cats indoors, although I feed two feral cats outdoors.
I, too! Let's see if we envision reincarnation possibilities similarly.Absolutely
But all in all I feel my life's been good -hard at times - but good. Makes me wonder what I went through before! LOLHeaven or Hell (if those are your beliefs) is a state of mind. So you're not wrong technically.
I hope you appreciate how lucky you are to have life the way you want it although I am not suggesting you thank God.I don't think my beliefs make me happy directly. I'm happy because my life is how I want it to be, which is dependent on those beliefs and a lot of luck. There's nothing more I want but more of the same for as long as I can have it.
It is a moot point because I have no interest in sex and that would be true even if I had no religious beliefs. As you might recall I was not always like this. I used to love sex, and the disinterest I have now has nothing to do with my religious beliefs, since I don't even think I would want sex even if I was married. I don't really know what happened and I am not worried about it since lack of desire causes me no unhappiness.Is it moot? Here's an example of a belief of yours that may be limiting your happiness. I'm not suggesting that you change in that regard. I understand that that is probably not a good idea for you. But if you had never had such an objection and it were not an issue one way or the other, you might find a compatible significant other. Or, you might find sorrow.
I said "A good day is a day I am content with the way things are, regardless of all the things I have to be worried about, legitimate worries."There's another example of how belief can affect happiness.
Obviously, your life situation is much different fro mine, and there are many reasons for that, none of which has anything to do with beliefs. For one thing you have a marriage and a social life and one house to maintain. I am a widow and will probably never remarry, I don't enjoy socializing, and I have eight Persian cats and three houses to take care of all by myself. I also have a full tie job as long as I choose to continue working, which I have done since there is no reason to retire.And again. I'm also free all day and have no money concerns. But because I have a happy marriage, a home and garden I enjoy being in, dogs that bring me joy, good weather, things to keep my mind stimulated, and as much of a social life as I would like while being essentially desire-free and worry-free, I enjoy every day. You seem to think that such a life only brings fleeting happiness, but it's been a formula for sustained satisfaction for fifteen years now.
I have two cars that were totaled by the insurance company which I bought back from the company. One is the car I drive tat has a big dent but that does not affect the drive-ability. The other car cannot be driven because the driver's side door was damaged and will not close, so it has been sitting for about two years. Both these cars have over 200,000 on them. But like you I don't need to drive much, so there is no reason for me to buy a new car.You have one more car than we do, and ours is also about 25 years old. Since we live in a village and most destinations are walking distance or at most a short drive, we don't drive much, so it has less than 80,000 miles on it.
That sounds nice. I don't need to drive very far either, in order to find what I need. The furthest I have to drive is about 10 miles if I have to go to the doctor or dentist or to the bank which I don't do very often. Normally I only drive to the post office for mail and to the grocery store for food once a week, and that is only about eight miles away.Our reason is that just about everything we want is right here or can be sent here. We'd need to travel about an hour to find a mall or fast food or see an opera, but none of that appeals any more.
I see that as a good thing. Sometimes I wish we had control over what we believe, but I don't think we do.It's in this sense that my beliefs bring me happiness. They leave free from desire, contention, and worry.
For now I prefer to be secluded, and that is probably because that is the life I have led all my life. Even when I was married for 37 years we were secluded. The difference is that now I don't have anyone at home to talk to and I am still not used to this, even after almost two years.You seem to have the same life more or less except that you live alone and are secluded. Maybe you prefer it that way, but if you lived in our village, you could live the same life but have as active a social life as you like, and I'm sure that you could meet men that didn't require a sexual relationship if male companionship were important to you. They needn't be roommates, and if they didn't like your cats, socialize outside the home - movies, plays, restaurants, garden clubs, ukelele groups, volunteering at animal rescue shelters, sketching groups, live music, etc..
I know I deserve to be happier than I have been for so many years and I can only hope that happens someday. It not as if I was happy when I was married. the first half was happy but we started to have many problems in the last half, not with each other but with life. Finally, he was suicidal and wanted to leave this world, and that was long before the cancer took him.Whatever you choose, you deserve happiness. You're a good person with a good heart. But you might need to make some changes. Seriously. If you have no family attachments or other reasons to stay put, how about coming to my part of Mexico and seeing what it has to offer you? We'd be glad to help you find a place to stay while you visit and to show you around. I'd love to meet you.
What I am asking is whether you think that your religious or non-religious beliefs about God or gods are the ‘reason’ you are happy. I highly doubt that is the reason people are happy, although they might tell themselves that. If that is the reason they were happy they would not need enjoyable foods, alcohol, sex, traveling, etc., in order to be happy, but I think most people do need those things to be happy.
I think love is important for happiness, but it does not have to be love for God or romantic love. It can be love for friends and family. In my case, it is love for my cats and other animals, since I only have online friends and I have no family or romantic interests. Would I be happier if I had a boyfriend or a husband? I don’t know, but that is a moot point, since men do not date women like me who won’t have sex out of wedlock.
I think certain religious people believe we ‘should be happy’ just because we have our religious beliefs. This pertains mostly to Baha’is, but I think it also pertains to Christians. I don’t know what the other religions teach about happiness. I am sick to death of the expectation of Baha’is that I ‘should be happy’ just because I am a Baha’i. These people are clueless about my life situation and they do not care about it. They are like robots, fully indoctrinated by their religious teachings that tell them that we ‘should be happy' because we have God, no matter what life throws our way.
As for Christians, are you happy because you believe you are saved and forgiven by the blood of Jesus, and because you believe that Jesus/God loves you? That might be one reason you are happy but I doubt you would still be happy if you had a very difficult life situation or if you had clinical depression or debilitating anxiety.
I don't go by beliefs anymore. Guess I'm happy about that though.What I am asking is whether you think that your religious or non-religious beliefs about God or gods are the ‘reason’ you are happy. I highly doubt that is the reason people are happy, although they might tell themselves that. If that is the reason they were happy they would not need enjoyable foods, alcohol, sex, traveling, etc., in order to be happy, but I think most people do need those things to be happy.
I think love is important for happiness, but it does not have to be love for God or romantic love. It can be love for friends and family. In my case, it is love for my cats and other animals, since I only have online friends and I have no family or romantic interests. Would I be happier if I had a boyfriend or a husband? I don’t know, but that is a moot point, since men do not date women like me who won’t have sex out of wedlock.
I think certain religious people believe we ‘should be happy’ just because we have our religious beliefs. This pertains mostly to Baha’is, but I think it also pertains to Christians. I don’t know what the other religions teach about happiness. I am sick to death of the expectation of Baha’is that I ‘should be happy’ just because I am a Baha’i. These people are clueless about my life situation and they do not care about it. They are like robots, fully indoctrinated by their religious teachings that tell them that we ‘should be happy' because we have God, no matter what life throws our way.
As for Christians, are you happy because you believe you are saved and forgiven by the blood of Jesus, and because you believe that Jesus/God loves you? That might be one reason you are happy but I doubt you would still be happy if you had a very difficult life situation or if you had clinical depression or debilitating anxiety.
What I was asking is whether you will you still be happy if you do not come back to earth and reincarnate in a new body.Let me clarify, there isn't a "me" as in this named personality that reincarnates. So this question doesn't really apply.
No, it doesn't mean that because my mind is not on this world, even though my body is in this world.Then I think you should reevaluate the way you see the world perhaps. If your state of mind is "to return is the worst thing imaginable" to me then would mean you already are in Hell mentally.
My fear of accidents is one reason I don't drive very far anymore and I never drive when there is any snow or ice.
Sometimes I want to die, but I am not ready to die yet, at least not until I have my will in place.
Basically, it is my love for the cats that gives me the will to keep living, because I would never leave them purposefully.
I'm not going to argue about it either. I can't answer a question from outside my perspective.What I was asking is whether you will you still be happy if you do not come back to earth and reincarnate in a new body.
I believe it is the personality that continues to live after the physical body dies. but I do not believe that personality comes back to earth and lives again in a new body. I believe that personality (the soul) continues to live in the spiritual world in a spiritual body.
I know you don't believe that and I don't want to argue about it. Nobody knows what will happen after we die so these are only beliefs people hold.
Trust me your brain is. Regardless of where you think your Soul resides. We are a tripartite body not dual. Mind/Body/Spirit complex.No, it doesn't mean that because my mind is not on this world, even though my body is in this world.
There are some nice things about this world but "to return is the worst thing imaginable" because the next world is so much better than this world, according to my beliefs.