I understand this. "Belief" in that there is no good reason to change my "mind". I am certain I do not want to kill my Heavenly Father.
I know what a psycological projection is. I read a little.
Sorry, I guess I still don't understand the nature of your experience of a 'heavenly father'. Is there an image and/or voice involved as part of the experience, or merely your image projected onto some 'other'?
re: psychological projection:
THE EGOTISTICAL STATES
1. APPARENT LOVE OF OTHERS BY PROJECTION OF THE EGO:
This is idolatrous love, in which the ego is projected onto another
being. The pretention to divinity as 'distinct' has left my organism and is now
fixed onto the organism of the other. The affective situation resembles that
above, with the difference that the other has taken my place in my scale of
values. I desire the existence of the other-idol, and am against everything that
is opposed to them. I no longer love my own organism except in so far as it is
the faithful servant of the idol; apart from that I have no further sentiments
towards my organism, I am indifferent to it, and, if necessary, I can give my
life for the safety of my idol (I can sacrifice my organism to my Ego fixed on
the idol; like Empedocles throwing himself down the crater of Etna in order
to immortalise his Ego). As for the rest of the world, I hate it if it is hostile to
my idol; if it is not hostile and if my contemplation of the idol fills me with
joy (that is to say, with egotistical affirmation), I love indiscriminately all the
rest of the world. If the idolised being rejects me to the point of forbidding me
all possession of my Ego in them, the apparent love can be turned to hate.
excerpted from:
Zen and the Psychology of Transformation, by Hubert Benoit