Everyday Biphobia

[Smart_Guy]

Yeah. Some people just can't help but want to make a discussion thread intended to not be about them strictly about them anyway.

Where's my whip?...

I'm an awesome guy that ladies run after and fight over... I'm so cool everyone begs to be my friend

Okay, here's a whip... beat the hell out of me mama

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Ever notice how celebrities who announce a same sex relationship are automatically assumed to be gay?

And if that relationship ends, and they begin an opposite sex relationship they're thought of as confused?

Bi-erasure.

 

[Rick O'Shez]

Ever notice how celebrities who announce a same sex relationship are automatically assumed to be gay?

Yes, you're right. But what's the answer do you think?

 

[Drolefille]

Ever notice how celebrities who announce a same sex relationship are automatically assumed to be gay?

And if that relationship ends, and they begin an opposite sex relationship they're thought of as confused?

Bi-erasure.

Or they finally got their head on straight now! (pun not intended)

Also isn't it weird how people will flirt with someone bisexual while at the same time thinking that bisexuality is immoral and wrong? Biiiiiiiiphobia.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Yes, you're right. But what's the answer do you think?

I think over time with more education and more people having the freedom to be out, that the assumption will lessen. It's doubtful in my lifetime that will be a reality, though stranger things have happened...like DOMA being struck down as unconstitutional.

Never thought that would occur in my lifetime. But I'm so SO happy it did.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

No my question is: is there a better "treatment" than destroying healthy sex organs and pumping a body full of hormones? Was some other type of secular treatment at least tried?

I have kidney stones! I peed blood on Monday night.

... I just thought you might want to know, since you seem to be very curious about personal issues involving other people's genitals.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Also isn't it weird how people will flirt with someone bisexual while at the same time thinking that bisexuality is immoral and wrong? Biiiiiiiiphobia.

hopefully God will forgive me this one sin

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Or they finally got their head on straight now! (pun not intended)

Also isn't it weird how people will flirt with someone bisexual while at the same time thinking that bisexuality is immoral and wrong? Biiiiiiiiphobia.

Like moths to a flame, right?

Lady, if I had a nickel for every secret request to engage as a **** toy for a cis man, cis woman, or cis hetero couple...I'd probably have about $10.

And then if I had a nickel for every lesbian who ran away from me as fast as possible when I come out to them because they think I'm not queer enough to be relationship-worthy...I'd probably have a dollar or so.

Not millions, but it happens often enough to be very very common.

Everyday biphobia.

 

[columbus]

Biphobia and erasure. *cracks whip*

When Smart Guy flies you to Dubai, can I carry your luggage?

Tom

 

[Rick O'Shez]

I think over time with more education and more people having the freedom to be out, that the assumption will lessen. It's doubtful in my lifetime that will be a reality, though stranger things have happened...like DOMA being struck down as unconstitutional.

Gay marriage passed into law earlier this year in the UK, which was a welcome surprise. But yes, raising awareness and challenging discrimination and marginalisation does take time. A thread like this is certainly worthwhile, and I've learned a lot from reading it - hopefully others have too. I have gay friends, but I haven't known anyone bisexual - well as far as I know, but now I am beginning to wonder - which is sort of the point I suppose.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I think over time with more education and more people having the freedom to be out, that the assumption will lessen. It's doubtful in my lifetime that will be a reality, though stranger things have happened...like DOMA being struck down as unconstitutional.

Never thought that would occur in my lifetime. But I'm so SO happy it did.

I think (hope) that it's a matter of critical mass. It's a lot easier for people to be against someone else's rights when they're talking in the abstract and they can't put a face to the people they're hurting. Once they know that someone they care about is bi (or trans), it'll be that much harder to maintain a negative position.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

When Smart Guy flies you to Dubai, can I carry your luggage?

Tom

Only if you provide my escape plan if the authorities catch wind of my possible acts of adultery.

 

[Rick O'Shez]

Once they know that someone they care about is bi (or trans), it'll be that much harder to maintain a negative position.

Yes, that's very true.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Ever notice how celebrities who announce a same sex relationship are automatically assumed to be gay?

And if that relationship ends, and they begin an opposite sex relationship they're thought of as confused?

Bi-erasure.

Nope. This I have never noticed.
But then again, I try to pay the least amount of attention possible towards celebrities. Typically all I know is what I see on the covers of tabloid magazines when I'm standing in line at the grocery store, and 9.99999 times out of 10 they make me want to vomit and rant about why our society is in such ruin. Although I can vaguely recall that I can't recall bisexuality being mentioned when someone gets "caught" having a same sex affair, even though they are known to have a heterosexual relationship. And recently some celebrity was shamed on, maybe the Enquirer, for being "caught" in "drag."

Or they finally got their head on straight now! (pun not intended)

Also isn't it weird how people will flirt with someone bisexual while at the same time thinking that bisexuality is immoral and wrong? Biiiiiiiiphobia.

I think I may try and do some research work into how biphobia and bierasure overlap and intermingle with transphobia. It seems transwomen are used as the ultimate bierasure, as many men feel they have a more "safe" method of exploring their same-sex attraction with what they perceive to be a "half-way" point that doesn't make them gay (bisexual isn't even brought up, it just doesn't make them gay). And then there is also the obsession some gay men have with FtMs and their vaginas, again suggesting this "half-way" point that lets them pretend they are still one or the other without having to admit they may be that dreaded "b" word, and more using transsexuals as a means and ends to "safely" explore their sexuality.

 

[columbus]

Only if you provide my escape plan if the authorities catch wind of my possible acts of adultery.

I can do

 

[Drolefille]

hopefully God will forgive me this one sin

And this is what we call hypocrisy. It's either wrong, or it's OK. Not wrong sometimes but OK because it turns you on.

Like moths to a flame, right?

Lady, if I had a nickel for every secret request to engage as a **** toy for a cis man, cis woman, or cis hetero couple...I'd probably have about $10.

And then if I had a nickel for every lesbian who ran away from me as fast as possible when I come out to them because they think I'm not queer enough to be relationship-worthy...I'd probably have a dollar or so.

Not millions, but it happens often enough to be very very common.

Everyday biphobia.

Right? Come play unicorn! But that's all you're good for.

Gay marriage passed into law earlier this year in the UK, which was a welcome surprise. But yes, raising awareness and challenging discrimination and marginalisation does take time. A thread like this is certainly worthwhile, and I've learned a lot from reading it - hopefully others have too. I have gay friends, but I haven't known anyone bisexual - well as far as I know, but now I am beginning to wonder - which is sort of the point I suppose.

That does get into the issue of invisibility. Statistically most bisexuals that settle down will settle down with someone of the opposite sex. I haven't seen an actual survey on it, but if you just use the broadest numbers of 90% hetero and 10%non-hetero, all else being equal there will be more straight and bi men out there for a bi woman to date or marry than there are bi or lesbian women. Once you're married, or "settled down" or whatever you're usually no longer perceived as bisexual - it's assumed you're straight because you "look" straight. And it probably doesn't come up in conversation a lot. I'll talk about an ex GF or ex BF (or ex couple I dated) equally but others will reenter the closet because the door is open so to speak.

I think (hope) that it's a matter of critical mass. It's a lot easier for people to be against someone else's rights when they're talking in the abstract and they can't put a face to the people they're hurting. Once they know that someone they care about is bi (or trans), it'll be that much harder to maintain a negative position.

Indeed. There's an argument though that

Nope. This I have never noticed.
But then again, I try to pay the least amount of attention possible towards celebrities. Typically all I know is what I see on the covers of tabloid magazines when I'm standing in line at the grocery store, and 9.99999 times out of 10 they make me want to vomit and rant about why our society is in such ruin. Although I can vaguely recall that I can't recall bisexuality being mentioned when someone gets "caught" having a same sex affair, even though they are known to have a heterosexual relationship. And recently some celebrity was shamed on, maybe the Enquirer, for being "caught" in "drag."

I think the most recent one I remember was a male swimmer who is bisexual but it took a while for the media to come around to that from his "gay relationship" or something. It's also why I avoid using "gay" marriage or even homosexual marriage (although you could potentially argue that it refers to the makeup of the marriage not the orientation of its memebers, I think it's misleading at best.)

I think I may try and do some research work into how biphobia and bierasure overlap and intermingle with transphobia. It seems transwomen are used as the ultimate bierasure, as many men feel they have a more "safe" method of exploring their same-sex attraction with what they perceive to be a "half-way" point that doesn't make them gay (bisexual isn't even brought up, it just doesn't make them gay). And then there is also the obsession some gay men have with FtMs and their vaginas, again suggesting this "half-way" point that lets them pretend they are still one or the other without having to admit they may be that dreaded "b" word, and more using transsexuals as a means and ends to "safely" explore their sexuality.

Certainly possible, I wonder if that research is out there so far. That said, I know I personally find gender non-comformity attractive - whether that's gender bending, gender f***, androgyny, drag, and so on. So there may be people who are generally into - and hopefully non-fetishizingly so - trans men for being trans men, and not "safe" space. I struggle to understand monosexuality, but I almost want to do a poll about whether monosexuals want gender presentation and genitalia to match, or are open to one or the other being different and if so which one.

 

[The Hammer]

Do you want me to answer... haha.
My answer is that we live in our own area/sector so that no one bothers the next. Then you are free to do, as everyone else would be, whatever you want. (then answer to God). Just sayin.

So we should have gay cities and straight cities? That's a ridiculous idea.

 

[The Hammer]

In fairness to you I have seen a particular type of woman that is actually attracted to weak, unsure men. Often times they end up bossing these types of guys around. If you're weak, unconfident, and unsure of yourself take heart gentlemen, there just may be an "angel" out there for you.

Just because someone isn't "confident bordering on cocky" does not make them "weak men"... You really do have absolutely no understanding of anything relating to gender, including your own... I need to go get my vaccination, foot in mouth disease is running rampant.

I am confident in certain aspects of my life (everyone is), but I am not confident bordering on cocksureness. I have never had "trouble" getting a partner, nor have I ever had a relationship that was dom/sub. You really need to take off the shades and take a look at the real world.

 

[The Hammer]

I think over time with more education and more people having the freedom to be out, that the assumption will lessen. It's doubtful in my lifetime that will be a reality, though stranger things have happened...like DOMA being struck down as unconstitutional.

Never thought that would occur in my lifetime. But I'm so SO happy it did.

The DADT repeal of the military was a great step in the right direction too ^_^

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Right? Come play unicorn! But that's all you're good for.

You know it.

That does get into the issue of invisibility. Statistically most bisexuals that settle down will settle down with someone of the opposite sex. I haven't seen an actual survey on it, but if you just use the broadest numbers of 90% hetero and 10%non-hetero, all else being equal there will be more straight and bi men out there for a bi woman to date or marry than there are bi or lesbian women. Once you're married, or "settled down" or whatever you're usually no longer perceived as bisexual - it's assumed you're straight because you "look" straight. And it probably doesn't come up in conversation a lot. I'll talk about an ex GF or ex BF (or ex couple I dated) equally but others will reenter the closet because the door is open so to speak.

I'm part of that statistic. I married a man, but at the time when husband and I met, I was in my phase of being more attracted to women. I still dated both and enjoyed intimacy with both, but as time passed and hubbie and I spent more time together as friends, then as lovers, we decided a couple years later to be recognized by the state and began creating our home.

It's relevant to note that even though friends will be aware of my orientation, whether my friends are homosexual or heterosexual, if I begin talking about a woman and how attracted I am to her....they'll say, "Wait, you're married, though. You still into women? Why?"

Heck, husband after so many years is aware that sometimes, I'll be attracted to men (which includes him), but sometimes I can't help but find myself attracted to women only. I am still unable to explain it...I'm attracted to whomever I'm attracted to.

I think the most recent one I remember was a male swimmer who is bisexual but it took a while for the media to come around to that from his "gay relationship" or something. It's also why I avoid using "gay" marriage or even homosexual marriage (although you could potentially argue that it refers to the makeup of the marriage not the orientation of its memebers, I think it's misleading at best.)

Certainly possible, I wonder if that research is out there so far. That said, I know I personally find gender non-comformity attractive - whether that's gender bending, gender f***, androgyny, drag, and so on. So there may be people who are generally into - and hopefully non-fetishizingly so - trans men for being trans men, and not "safe" space. I struggle to understand monosexuality, but I almost want to do a poll about whether monosexuals want gender presentation and genitalia to match, or are open to one or the other being different and if so which one.

Agreed.