I woke up feeling decent today. I got to sleep until I was ready to wake up, and I didn't have anything to immediately attend to, so that was relieving.
Put on a dress I hadn't worn in awhile. Wow! This doesn't look so bad on me. Felt good about that. Got the kids ready to go, and they gave me little argument. How often does that happen? I got my favorite pop, and we went out to do some errands, and I found I was feeling something I very rarely feel: enthusiasm.
Tried to start conversation in the van. Husband had a toothache, and he gave about as much commentary as this guy:
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Hm. Well, we get to the store, and its a little bit of a downer... so many people, off in their own spheres..
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I'm enthusiastic about the crafting items I'm getting so I can make some decorations for Navratri. Husband is agitated by the price. Its fine. But, another damper.
I try turning on some music in the van; Blink 182, because that's upbeat. But I find it does the opposite affect I was hoping for; it reminds me of being young and having people around to share stuff with. By this time, I find my enthusiasm is thoroughly squashed, and I'm just nostalgic, missing times when one could grab a guitar and some friends and play music in the park, or jump in a creek, or just lay around the house staring at the ceiling cracking stupid jokes. But everything is so quiet now...and everyone is so to themselves.
I get home, and decide the dress doesn't look so good on me anyways. The stuff I picked up for lunch that I was was so looking forward to seem bland, and I'm finding for once in my life, I'm not hungry. I poke at my husband a bit in hopes of conversation, but his mouth is still bothering him, and he excuses himself to go work on the rust spots on his car. Ares goes outside to play, and Yudhi sits there watching. I'm left with the noise of the aquariums and the occasional cat squabble.
Being an extrovert in an introvert's world really sucks.