Forgiveness

[RestlessSoul]

and that is why I cannot forgive, since I believe the person in question should be punished in some way.

But the only person you are punishing, is yourself.

 

[Koldo]

But the only person you are punishing, is yourself.

But not forgiving someone doesn't entail punishing oneself. Do you mean that when you (not the general you) don't forgive someone you always punish yourself?

 

[Trailblazer]

Our sins. How can I expect God to forgive me for my wrong doings, if I can't forgive those who have wronged me?

I guess you are saying that humans should be like God and forgive all wrongdoings because God forgives all wrongdoings.
No human is God so no human should be held to such a standard.

 

[Trailblazer]

But the only person you are punishing, is yourself.

How do you know I am punishing myself?
Only God knows what is in my mind and heart.

I am not trying to punish anyone. How can I punish a dead person?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Eh, cut the person out your life. You can still forgive too. It’s not a big deal to forgive. It’s for you anyway. If you’d rather stay bitter that’s your choice

You can't always choose to cut people out. And it has nothing to do with being bitter but rather reasonable expectations from a particular individual. If this person isn't going to change then I'll save my forgiveness for the trying times with people I deeply care about.

 

[Trailblazer]

But not forgiving someone doesn't entail punishing oneself. Do you mean that when you (not the general you) don't forgive someone you always punish yourself?

That's the fallacy of black and white thinking.

 

[RestlessSoul]

But not forgiving someone doesn't entail punishing oneself. Do you mean that when you (not the general you) don't forgive someone you always punish yourself?

If I hold anger, resentment, bitterness or ill will towards another in my heart, I allow a corrosive poison to eat at me from the inside. Experience has shown me this.

 

[Jimmy]

There are no gods.
Why forgive people who did & still do evil?
Does my view make you bitter?

To each their own

 

[Jimmy]

Have you ever tried to forgive your rapist or the terrorists who blew your aunts arm off with a bomb or the hooligans who tried to kill your children.

Trust me, forgiveness is not easy but acceptance can come and override bitterness

I would

 

[Trailblazer]

If I hold anger, resentment, bitterness or ill will towards another in my heart, I allow a corrosive poison to eat at me from the inside. Experience has shown me this.

Why do you think that not forgiving someone always = anger, resentment, bitterness or ill will towards another?

 

[Jimmy]

I disagree with your disagreement.


There is a vast difference between not forgiving someone and wishing them harm.

Is there?

 

[ChristineM]

I would

Right.

It's easy to say but i don't think you could

 

[Jimmy]

That's it. I see forgiveness as much more than letting go of anger. It also involves cancelling a debt. It means the person in question doesn't have to do anything (more) to make up for what they have done.

While letting go of anger is necessary for my well-being, forgiveness is not.

You’re ultimately forgiving wether u like it or not though

 

[Jimmy]

I agree that forgiveness includes to idea of a debt or amends being owed. But I still think that forgiveness is internal. Meaning that I forgive both the offense and any presumed debt related to it within myself. But that does not erase that debt on behalf of society, or the offender. That responsibility still stands. I am simply letting go of it within myself. Just because I no longer require or expect any amends does not absolve the offender of that requirement or expectation.

Ultimately it needs not stand and the person can move on.

 

[Jimmy]

To forgive the forgivable is a choice which if not taken, is rather a question of personal stubbornness and self-harmful pride.

In a multitude of [painful] ways however, life offers the opportunity for one to experience the healing aspect of learning how to forgive that which one thought one never could.

It is in the self-transformative qualities of accomplishing this, even once, that the priceless gift of self-trust and the blessing of true compassion is acquired.

Humbly,
Hermit

:WINNER:

 

[Jimmy]

Some things cannot be forgiven. I can live with that

Then you live bitter

 

[Vee]

Should one forgive? I say yes, otherwise they get eaten up with anger & bitterness.

While I agree that forgiveness is beneficial for the forgiver, I also believe that if someone wants to be forgiven, they need to earn it. People who want forgiveness should start by apologizing and changing their bad behavior.

 

[Jimmy]

Why do you think that not forgiving someone always = anger, resentment, bitterness or ill will towards another?

It does. There is no reason. Search yourself. You’ll see.

 

[Jimmy]

Right.

It's easy to say but i don't think you could

Ok

 

[Jimmy]

This garbage about the NEED to forgive under any and all all circumstances comes from religion and I want no part of it.
I believe a person needs to be honest with themselves and others and do what they think is right.
My counselor agrees.

To add to that, this garbage that we are all sinners and need to be forgiven by God comes from religion and I want no part of that.

Not religion. Real life