There's no doubt that mixed in with religion are some wonderful ideas, questions, and answers about life, and methods of maximizing the emotional, spiritual/mystic experience.
And I think that can be very important. Atheists who knee-jerk their opposition to anything falling in the heading of 'religion' run the risk of throwing out the baby with the bath water, so to speak. I'm very impressed by Buddhist ethics for example. Meditation and the contemplative disciplines certainly seem to have value. Both of those address aspects of human life that aren't really addressed by science.
I just think we need to jettison the first century world view, superstition, anthropomorphic God, and overall silliness of religion that involves an imaginary friend that occasionally answers prayers.
I don't really have anything against ancient thought. I'm hugely interested in Greek philosophy and in the surprisingly similar philosophical ideas in India around the same time. (Aristotle is my favorite philosopher, head and shoulders above anyone else, even though I disagree with many of his views. He was just so extraordinary for his time. Inventer of formal logic, the first philosopher of science, the first scientific biologist...) People then were just as smart as people today and we still have a lot to learn from the best of them.
While I wrote that I think of Yahweh, Allah, Vishnu, Shiva and the rest as something like fictional characters, I don't want to totally dismiss them either. Human beings, by their nature, find it easier to understand and relate to other people than to abstractions. So putting a human face on what might otherwise be metaphysical abstractions might arguably be valuable, if it opens up a whole affective dimension of human life that abstractions can't typically reach.
I really get the sense that many atheists are anti-Christians deep down. As for me, I wasn't raised in a Christian home and have never thought of myself as a Christian. So psychologically, I don't feel like I'm in any kind of Oedipal battle against the Bible.
I think your desire for a higher state of consciousness and your philosophical inquiry is what gives a special meaning to life.
It does for me. It's what motivates my interest in anything that might help shine a light into the darkness. Religion, science and philosophy all seem to offer that in their different ways. I am a lifelong reader of science fiction too, and feel that it is good practice in stretching the imagination. I still remember reading an introductory university philosophy textbook when I was still in high school and feeling like a light had turned on in my head and I'd discovered something like my meaning in life. It's decades later now, but I've never lost that feeling.
I don't find comfort or seek answers in the "God of the gaps", but rather in the great scientific revolution and latest scientific knowledge made possible by human collaboration and hard work.
I agree that many of the more technical scientific questions, its
internal "gaps", will eventually be filled in by the methods of science. But I have a very intense feeling of the sea of unanswered questions in the middle of which science floats. What are logic and mathematics? What are the 'laws of physics'? What is causation? What are necessity and possibility? What is 'reality' in the first place? Where did all of these come from and why does reality display the order that it seemingly displays and not something else? What is knowledge? What is truth? What are we trying to accomplish when we 'explain' something? And on and on and on.
It isn't so much that science has a few remaining gaps between its more solid bits, it's that science is floating in the middle of an uncharted void, the mother of all "gaps".
For example, comfort and spiritual experience through minfullness, music, literature, cosmology, meditation, deep conversation, etc. I find answers to big questions by reading philosophy and learning about new scientific discoveries.
So do I.