Groping: a male and female perspective

[MysticSang'ha]

I think for guys it depends. I would guess the guys who say they're OK with being groped would only be OK with it in certain situations, as you implied.

I've found that to be the case for women too. But then it isn't groping...it's the scenario of where you are suddenly and instantly attracted to that mysterious and delicious stranger across the room, and hope that they're attracted to you too.

As for fantasies, I get the impression a whole lot of people have fantasies they wouldn't want to actually play out in real life. I know I do.

Agreed.

 

[Robert.Evans]

I've found that to be the case for women too. But then it isn't groping...it's the scenario of where you are suddenly and instantly attracted to that mysterious and delicious stranger across the room, and hope that they're attracted to you too.

its called adultery.

 

[Smart_Guy]

So far, 3 men have stated that they wouldn't mind being groped by a woman, since it would occur to them that a woman finds them sexually attractive.

What do I say, I'm just a lonely poor middle eastern :sad:

But ask them how would they feel if groped by a man and...

Okay, stop right there sister... please

 

[Magic Man]

Agreed.

I was actually just talking about this with my wife the other day. We were watching Mad Men. *Very, very mild spoilers, I guess* Don's wife brought a female friend for them to have a threesome. My wife apologized for the fact that she would never be able to do that. I've never said it was something I wanted to do, so she was more speaking to the generic male fantasy. Of course I have fun with the fantasy sometimes, but if given the opportunity, I'd probably decline. If I was single or with someone where we were just having fun, I'd be up for it (pun intended). But not now that I'm married. I guessed that most guys like the idea of it, but wouldn't truly want to do it, if given the chance.

 

[LuisDantas]

its called adultery.

I suppose it may lead to adultery when unwisely dealt with, and if at least one of the two people happens to be married with someone else.

But feeling an attraction and reveling in it does not adultery make.

 

[BSM1]

I have to admit as a male I've enjoyed the times I was groped by the opposite sex. I've never met a woman that I felt enjoyed it when strange men groped them. (Not by me mind you, I have a strict no groping policy with ladies). Women always seem to feel violated. But it does beg a couple of questions. Men: do you enjoyed getting groped by the opposite sex? Women: is acting offended sometimes just an act to not appear loose?

My wife does not allow me to be groped. If she did I believe I would wear a very tasteful sign with invitations and instructions.

 

[Nymphs]

its called adultery.

Groping = adultery?



Should I even ask?!

 

[Nymphs]

But not now that I'm married. I guessed that most guys like the idea of it, but wouldn't truly want to do it, if given the chance.

I don't know about most guys, but my husband jumped on the fact that he was included in his first threesome. But, I do know our situation (polyamory) is a bit different than most. Even saying that, we did entertain thoughts of a threesome before we became polyamorous.

 

[Apex]

How did we get on the subject of fantasies? I didn't really get the impression from the OP that fantasies were part of the question.

 

[Nymphs]

How did we get on the subject of fantasies? I didn't really get the impression from the OP that fantasies were part of the question.

There were a few men and women that brought it up.

 

[Penumbra]

The subject got onto fantasies because several men said they'd like to be groped by strange women.

 

[Apex]

The subject got onto fantasies because several men said they'd like to be groped by strange women.

Ok, although I don't think liking something is quite the same as fantasizing about it.

 

[Penumbra]

Ok, although I don't think liking something is quite the same as fantasizing about it.

Well people are suggesting that those that say they'd like to be groped by women, are probably just viewing it as a fantasy for the most part.

For example, a majority of women have had rape fantasies. But women don't actually want to be raped. The narrative within a fantasy is controlled by the one doing the fantasizing.

I bet the majority of guys that say they'd enjoy being groped by a strange woman would quickly think otherwise when she didn't look as fantasized, act as fantasized, etc.

 

[kashmir]

Most men prob go through the "groping" line at airports even if they are not actually getting on the plane....
Just kidding.

 

[Sunstone]

Well people are suggesting that those that say they'd like to be groped by women, are probably just viewing it as a fantasy for the most part.

For example, a majority of women have had rape fantasies. But women don't actually want to be raped. The narrative within a fantasy is controlled by the one doing the fantasizing.

I bet the majority of guys that say they'd enjoy being groped by a strange woman would quickly think otherwise when she didn't look as fantasized, act as fantasized, etc.

The problem is. many people cannot distinguish between their fantasies and cold appraisal of reality. Put differently, you'll never convince them they wouldn't care to be groped, because they don't even know their fantasies about what it's like are actually fantasies.

 

[Sunstone]

The subject got onto fantasies because several men said they'd like to be groped by strange women.

I used to get groped by strange men when I worked as a cocktail waiter in a gay bar. It seldom bothered me. But the men were rather gentle and subtle both. So I'm not sure how similar their groping would be to the typical groping of a woman by a heterosexual male.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I used to get groped by strange men when I worked as a cocktail waiter in a gay bar. It seldom bothered me. But the men were rather gentle and subtle both. So I'm not sure how similar their groping would be to the typical groping of a woman by a heterosexual male.

In reality, I tend to distinguish between "groping" and the welcome flirtatious touch. For example, I've been out and have had men and women coming up to me to my side, and slowly sliding their hand over the opposite hip. That move is assertive, but there's attention and care to how I might react, and ready to stop if I show I don't want to be touched.

On the other hand, "groping" is out of the blue, forceful, quick, and without any attention to how I might feel about it. It's as if a part of my body is part of a buffet, and they'll just walk up and grab it whenever and however they want. Like the story of the guy I punched in the face at the club, because he reached around on the dance floor without my knowledge and forcefully fingered my crotch. Or the guy in high school who reached his hand up my skirt in the middle of class (and I hit him across the face with a book).

There is a very real difference between the two.

 

[Robert.Evans]

Like the story of the guy I punched in the face at the club, because he reached around on the dance floor without my knowledge and forcefully fingered my cr*tch.

You should not have done that. You should have called the police. You think that will not have a knock on effect. What did he do later when that started to bother him as he sobered up? Beat the hell out of his wife perhaps. It reminds me of a CTV on TV which had a young man and woman speaking; one could not tell what it was about, but in a flash, he hit her in the face, knocked her straight out. He (or she) who lives by the sword dies by the sword. You do things like that because you like the fact you are not scared anymore perhaps, but there is always, always, a knock on effect. And usually to someone innocent. Next time, do it the legal way. It would have had more effect.


EDIT:
but what gets me is at the bottom it says 'love you all', should there not be some clauses or sub-clauses to that??

 

[MysticSang'ha]

You should not have done that. You should have called the police. You think that will not have a knock on effect. What did he do later when that started to bother him as he sobered up? Beat the hell out of his wife perhaps. It reminds me of a CTV on TV which had a young man and woman speaking; one could not tell what it was about, but in a flash, he hit her in the face, knocked her straight out. He (or she) who lives by the sword dies by the sword. You do things like that because you like the fact you are not scared anymore perhaps, but there is always, always, a knock on effect. And usually to someone innocent. Next time, do it the legal way. It would have had more effect.

Nah. He stopped. And I maintain it was an act of self-defense. He assaulted me.

I expect another "Poe" like response from you soon.

EDIT:
but what gets me is at the bottom it says 'love you all', should there not be some clauses or sub-clauses to that??

Eat your heart out, Robert. :beach:

 

[Smart_Guy]

but what gets me is at the bottom it says 'love you all', should there not be some clauses or sub-clauses to that??

At least I know she loves me!

Yup, she does