Groping: a male and female perspective

[Pegg]

Moral decline compared to what time period?

our grandparents generation were very different to ours. The type of clothes they wore were very modest, men treated women differently....of course there has always been the 'seedy' aspects of society, but in past generations it was kept in the minority and hidden away

not so today. Now its the majority who live the 'seedy' lifestyle and its quite prevalent and open to the public. I walk from the station to my work just 2 block in the city and walk past 2 strip joints called 'gentlemens clubs'

Really? Gentlemen? Thats how acceptable immorality is in todays society. Even in very religious societies like Afghanistan...they openly sell paedophile pornography on the streets.

Putrid.

 

[columbus]

Moral decline compared to what time period?

There's the rub. People haven't changed much. We're just more able than we used to be.

Tom

 

[Nymphs]

our grandparents generation were very different to ours. The type of clothes they wore were very modest, men treated women differently....of course there has always been the 'seedy' aspects of society, but in past generations it was kept in the minority and hidden away

not so today. Now its the majority who live the 'seedy' lifestyle and its quite prevalent and open to the public. I walk from the station to my work just 2 block in the city and walk past 2 strip joints called 'gentlemens clubs'

Really? Gentlemen? Thats how acceptable immorality is in todays society. Even in very religious societies like Afghanistan...they openly sell paedophile pornography on the streets.

Putrid.

Puritanical morality.

 

[columbus]

our grandparents generation were very different to ours

They weren't that different. They just didn't talk about it.

Tom

 

[Pegg]

Puritanical morality.

imagine if there was a bit more puritanical morality there would be a lot less rape and child abuse.....and a lot less of most other crimes committed everywhere eveyrday.

I dont mind pure. Wouldnt you be happier swimming in clear clean water rather then dirty polluted water?

 

[Pegg]

They weren't that different. They just didn't talk about it.

Tom

as i said, it was not openly acceptable because it was not a 'majority' thing.

But now its the majority which is why its ok to talk about it and bring it into the public space.

 

[Nymphs]

imagine if there was a bit more puritanical morality there would be a lot less rape and child abuse.....

Wrong. We just wouldn't hear about it. Do you really think there was less rape and child abuse in the 50's?

 

[columbus]

as i said, it was not openly acceptable because it was not a 'majority' thing.

But now its the majority which is why its ok to talk about it and bring it into the public space.

It still isn't a majority. The biggest difference is that it is out where people can't pretend it doesn't exist.

Tom

 

[Smart_Guy]

Now that I know the meaning of the word, thanks to watching hent.. I mean, the explanation Penumbra gave, I'd say that it is dead wrong specially for men to grope women. I consider it rude and sexual harassment, and that is not acceptable. Such men deserve an immediate punch right in the kisser before the beating of their lives by the other men around so next time they don't attempt to touch the honor of women!

As for women groping men, well, it is less problematic I guess. Dunno how it feels being groped by a lady, but I personally wouldn't mind if she was interested in me... and she's my type so to speak :hearts:

 

[Pegg]

Wrong. We just wouldn't hear about it. Do you really think there was less rape and child abuse in the 50's?

the point is that 'moral' people dont do such things.

If the majority were moral, we wouldnt see so much of it. Morality is the answer.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

So far, 3 men have stated that they wouldn't mind being groped by a woman, since it would occur to them that a woman finds them sexually attractive.

Are assault fantasies this common?

 

[Apex]

So far, 3 men have stated that they wouldn't mind being groped by a woman, since it would occur to them that a woman finds them sexually attractive.

Are assault fantasies this common?

Is it still assault if the recipient welcomes it, or at least is indifferent? And as I said, I might be fine with it myself, but since it has never happened to me I honestly cannot give a definitive answer.

 

[Robert.Evans]

I have to admit as a male I've enjoyed the times I was groped by the opposite sex. I've never met a woman that I felt enjoyed it when strange men groped them. (Not by me mind you, I have a strict no groping policy with ladies). Women always seem to feel violated. But it does beg a couple of questions. Men: do you enjoyed getting groped by the opposite sex? Women: is acting offended sometimes just an act to not appear loose?

To the last comment, some times. In general, we should not do it.

 

[LuisDantas]

So far, 3 men have stated that they wouldn't mind being groped by a woman, since it would occur to them that a woman finds them sexually attractive.

Are assault fantasies this common?

They may well be, but I would take those statements with a grain of salt.

There is a lot of difference between having the fantasy and actually feeling ok if it materializes. People may be sincere yet find out that they don't like it when it happens.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Is it still assault if the recipient welcomes it, or at least is indifferent? And as I said, I might be fine with it myself, but since it has never happened to me I honestly cannot give a definitive answer.

By definition, if you didn't give consent, it's assault.

And as I said earlier, I'm not suggesting anything is wrong with that. Rape and assault fantasies have been discussed without judgement, as they are sexual fantasies and not based on reality.

Look at it this way...it's rather like people who fantasize about threesomes, but aren't exactly sure of what they would do if the reality presented itself to that person. The fantasy offers the person the ability to control the narrative. And takes out the agency of other people involved.

Switch the gender of the person groping you, and my guess is that the feelings change. Assault fantasies involve the desire to be so desired by people you are attracted to, that they just can't control themselves anymore. It's the fantasy of being an overwhelming object of desire.

BTW, there have been surveys and studies on female sexuality, and the fantasy that typically either ranks as #1 or as being high on the list is the rape fantasy.

I asked the question about men because I'm curious if men and women are more alike in sexual fantasies than at first assumed.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

They may well be, but I would take those statements with a grain of salt.

There is a lot of difference between having the fantasy and actually feeling ok if it materializes. People may be sincere yet find out that they don't like it when it happens.

Yeah, but you know me. When any discussion about sex and sexuality comes up, I gotta be present.

 

[Nymphs]

the point is that 'moral' people dont do such things.

If the majority were moral, we wouldnt see so much of it. Morality is the answer.

Yes, if people were better human beings, we wouldn't see rape and abuse, but calling the 50's more moral because they put on a front of 'modesty' and 'morality' doesn't explain away the prevalence of rape and abuse in that day and age.

 

[Magic Man]

By definition, if you didn't give consent, it's assault.

And as I said earlier, I'm not suggesting anything is wrong with that. Rape and assault fantasies have been discussed without judgement, as they are sexual fantasies and not based on reality.

Look at it this way...it's rather like people who fantasize about threesomes, but aren't exactly sure of what they would do if the reality presented itself to that person. The fantasy offers the person the ability to control the narrative. And takes out the agency of other people involved.

Switch the gender of the person groping you, and my guess is that the feelings change. Assault fantasies involve the desire to be so desired by people you are attracted to, that they just can't control themselves anymore. It's the fantasy of being an overwhelming object of desire.

BTW, there have been surveys and studies on female sexuality, and the fantasy that typically either ranks as #1 or as being high on the list is the rape fantasy.

I asked the question about men because I'm curious if men and women are more alike in sexual fantasies than at first assumed.

I think for guys it depends. I would guess the guys who say they're OK with being groped would only be OK with it in certain situations, as you implied.

As for fantasies, I get the impression a whole lot of people have fantasies they wouldn't want to actually play out in real life. I know I do.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

So far, 3 men have stated that they wouldn't mind being groped by a woman, since it would occur to them that a woman finds them sexually attractive.

Are assault fantasies this common?

But ask them how would they feel if groped by a man and...

 

[MysticSang'ha]

But ask them how would they feel if groped by a man and...

Right. From Hetero folks that is.

Which is why I maintain it's a fantasy.