The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Allah has pardoned my people for what they think in their minds as long as they do not speak about it or act upon it. [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
Many thoughts go through our hearts all the time. Whenever our hearts might take pause, they are again stirred into action whenever we see something or hear something, indeed whenever we encounter something with our senses. These thoughts continue to nag at our hearts until they are either firmly entrenched or forgotten.
The thoughts that remain in our hearts will either be good thoughts that elevate and purify or they will be bad thoughts that engender resentment and envy, thoughts that incite ignoble and sinful behavior.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Indeed, in the body there is a piece of flesh if it is in order, then the who body is in order, and if it is spoiled, the whole body is spoiled. It is the heart. [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
As long as we do not liberate those thoughts that are imprisoned in our hearts and set them forth for world to see by giving a voice to them, we will not be held to account for them. This is from Allahs grace upon us, because we really are not capable of retraining our minds and preventing those many stray bad thoughts from passing through.
So we have it that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Allah has pardoned for my people for what they think in their minds as long as they do not speak about it or act upon it. [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]
This does not mean that we should give free reign to our minds to indulge in any line of thinking, so that the basest of thoughts can beset our beings and shake the very foundations of our resolve. As people, we are naturally prone to error and temptation, no matter how religious or knowledgeable we might be. Therefore, we must keep ourselves in order, moderate our thoughts, and push aside vain desires and suspicions. We must keep bad thoughts in check before they overwhelm us and force our tongues to speak, maybe backbiting or slandering someone, or maybe cursing someone else, or reminding someone of our charity to them.
Abû Sa`îd al-Khudrî relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: When a human being gets up in the morning, his limbs scold his tongue, saying: fear Allah with respect to us, for if you are upright then we will be upright, and if you are corrupt then we will be corrupt. [Sunan al-Tirmidhî]
We are commanded by our faith to speak a good word or remain silent. We need, therefore, to think carefully before we speak. At the same time, this awareness sometimes takes people beset by a weakness of character to the point where they refrain from even speaking what is right. This means that on the one hand you find people who when they are impressed with something speak only worlds of resentment and envy and when they see something that needs correction, they merely wrap up their insults and slanders in a pretence of giving advice. At the other extreme, you find some people who are blessed with pure hearts but are tongue-tied and incapable of being a mirror to their fellows. When they see someone else speaking wrongly, they are unable to muster the courage to stop them. Instead they are prone to be aversely affected by what is said and start believing in their hearts the slanders they hear being levied against others.
Then there are others who are well-meaning and who sincerely wish to give good advice. However, they are harsh in their approach and sharp in their criticism. Instead of guiding others, they end up turning people away.
In order to protect our hearts and keep them on the straight path and in order to keep them from becoming blind and surrounded by darkness we must be able to confront those who slander others and spread rumors. We need to stop them and ask them what they hope to achieve by saying these things. We need to test the veracity of their claims that they are spreading around. If they then claim that all they want to do is to right the wrongs that they see, then we need to guide him respectfully to what is right and mention to him various ways of giving advice that are not harmful and insulting, that do not result in the breaking of friendships, family conflict, and social strife.
We should take note of the fact that backbiting, spreading rumors, and insulting people can take place by non-verbal means as well, like gesture of the hand or eye or like mocking the way somebody walks or how short somebody is.
Many thoughts that should remain unspoken manage to escape from our minds as words and then spread like a disease through society, causing injury to people, destroying the love that exists between them, and fostering enmity. Hearts are soured and family ties are severed.
Allah says: O ye who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Ye abhor that (so abhor the other)! And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful. [Sûrah al-Hujurât: 12]
It is high time that these thoughts are restrained and that these rumors are buried. We should not entertain at our dinner tables disparaging conversations about others. At the same time, we need to liberate the good word from bondage, words that Satan would make us hesitant to utter out of fear as to how others will react.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: If someone loves his brother, then he should tell him. [Sunan al-Tirmidhî]
Once when the Prophet (peace be upon him) was with someone, a man passed by and said: O Messenger of Allah, I love that person.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked: Have you told him?
He replied: No.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Then do so.
So the man went to the other and said: I love you for the sake of Allah.
The other replied: May He love you for whose sake you love me. [Sunan Abî Dâwûd
