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I am a good man, so why don't I have a girlfriend? Do I need to be a jerk instead?

Alceste

Alceste

Vagabond
Badran said:
Okay, my issue lied basically in the implication that its by default a bad thing i guess, unless justified. In other words, i don't view it as an asset, but i don't view it as an obstacle neither.

That may be because i'm already familiar with that kind of mentality though. And, as you put it here, it seems more of a preference thing, or as put earlier by Penumbra, alignment of priorities. With which i have no problem.
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It's not a thoughtless opinion. The amount of money we blow on luxury items and fancy brands says a lot about our priorities, ethics, and our general philosophy vis a vis the meaning of life. In my view, money is energy, and the ethical choice is to direct it toward something that matters. Having flashy, expensive possessions demonstrates that someone does not share this philosophy - they view money as an end in itself, and the accumulation of goods as some kind of game, or contest. I'm not playing that same game. Where they see gilded treasures I see nothing but wasted energy.
 
Badran

Badran

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Alceste said:
It's not a thoughtless opinion. The amount of money we blow on luxury items and fancy brands says a lot about our priorities, ethics, and our general philosophy vis a vis the meaning of life.
Click to expand...

I agree, but i don't think that the next part of your post necessarily follows, as it depends on the person's priorities (i'll clarify more in the next part).

One thing i should clarify is that i didn't mean by preference that its just things you like for no apparent reason, rather your desired goals and priorities in life (i understand now that you view yours as the ethical choice).

Alceste said:
In my view, money is energy, and the ethical choice is to direct it toward something that matters. Having flashy, expensive possessions demonstrates that someone does not share this philosophy - they view money as an end in itself, and the accumulation of goods as some kind of game, or contest. I'm not playing that same game. Where they see gilded treasures I see nothing but wasted energy.
Click to expand...

This might be the case if its a pattern. If a person seems to be into buying expensive stuff in general, even usually things they themselves view as unnecessary stuff and so forth. This i could agree with your description of it as unethical or unwise.

However, one single item is not enough to go on or to make any negative judgement based upon, in my view. There are many good reasons to acquire one item that is very expensive. Depending on your priorities, conditions financially, your goals and the time period you're setting for it, your passions, your immediate or closer responsibilities etc...
 
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blackout

blackout

Violet.
Ruadri Canmore said:
This thread is mainly directed towards the women on this site but guys can jump in if they have an insight.

I'm a decent chap, not perfect, but I am a kind and loving person. From what I understand I am what women say they want, a nice, kind, loving person and yet every time I ask a girl out I get a no, and the one time I did ask a girl out and she said yes after the first date she left me for some guy in her salsa dance class.

It has been suggested that I need to get to know these girls first before I ask them out so that they know for sure I am a good guy and feel safe with me. Yet for the past school year I developed friendships with a number of different girls and they all said no when I ask them out, except for the one girl I mentioned above her who kissed me on our one date, told me she had a wonderful time and then dumps me over the phone for the salsa dance guy.

I'm wondering if you actually want a nice guy. Like I've heard a number of other guys say that in order to get a woman, you need to be a jerk to her. Whenever someone has said this to me before I've been rather skeptical. Yet after not just acting decent but actually being a nice guy (I'm nice and chivalrous by nature and I am a bit replused by the idea of being an *******) I have no mate, and am wondering if these guys are right.

I feel as though I am being crushed under the weight of lonelyness and inadequacy.
It may sound ridiculous but I feel like grabbing collective womankind by the shoulders, shaking her and screaming "Here I am! I am a good and chivalous knight as you asked for! Then why am I alone?"

Do I need to be an ******* towards women? Do I need to sell my soul to have a companion?
Click to expand...

Take a salsa dance class?
or better yet...learn to tango...
 
Ruadri Canmore

Ruadri Canmore

Knight Errant
Good Lord this thing has reached 55 pages! I just posted this a week or two ago, what the **** happened?!

The last time I checked it was only three pages and I was thinking about my response to a guy who had a post halfway down!

Its going to take a day just to read through all of this. I guess its a topic lots of people think about?
 
jasonwill2

jasonwill2

Well-Known Member
why won't this topic just die??!?!

edit: people must think about sex and relationships a lot... if I had to guess as to of why.
 
Storm

Storm

ThrUU the Looking Glass
Ruadri Canmore said:
back when we roamed the earth in tribes men and women made a deal with each other. You give me protection and I give you sex. It wasn't something forced on women, it was a mutual agreement based on what each gender did best.
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"Mystery" solved!
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
Women like self confident guys.

Even if you are generaly self confident, maybe you exhibited less confidence when you wanted to approach a woman romantically.

If this was the problem, having a better physiche will surely help both because it just helps always and because it will also boostup your confidence.

Luck Man! Hope you find some good ones :D
 
Storm

Storm

ThrUU the Looking Glass
Me Myself said:
Because judging people by out of context quotes is that which you do with greatest accuracy?

Come on Storm, you are better than that.
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How was it out of context? He revealed his true colors, I just called him on it.
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
Storm said:
Hey, he's the one said "I give you sex" is what women are best at.
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He really didn´t.

At least you can debate this in the other thread instead of stalking him to here.

You can´t know a person from a pair of posts on an internet forum. Very less so when you´ve just started to talk to him about the subject. If you just blow up about the first impressions and things that come to your mind when you hear something, you are bound to misinterpret.
 
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