if your girlfriend/wife contacts her ex-boyfriends, and inverse

[Shadow Wolf]

what is value of marriage, when you stay on contact with your ex-bodyfriend ?

Because relationships fail for a number of reasons. Sometimes there are good and valid reasons the two should not have further contact, but just because two people are no longer lovers doesn't inherently mean they should cease all contact. Sometimes people will end a romantic relationship before they end up hating each other so much they won't want to see each other again, and they remain friends after wards. Sometimes things just don't work out, and the potential for love was lost, but there is still great potential for friendship. It has nothing to do with how much you value marriage, but how much you value friendship with others and if you think their is value to be had out of maintaining contact with your exes.

 

[columbus]

honestly , you just sleep with , you never ever touch her ?

I don't know if most of Western accept like this ? but if was me , i will divorce her at that moment .

Judy likes to hug everyone. So does Doug. But nothing the least bit sexual. And Duke knew that. It was still a remarkably strange situation, bizarre even.
Duke is a big man and very confident. We'd all known each other for many years. Duke trusts Judy and me and is accustomed to trusting his own judgement. If Judy thought she would upset him in the slightest she wouldn't have said that. She knew she wouldn't, because she knew him. Duke is trustworthy himself and so assumes the same from others, especially people he knows as well as us. But it was still a strange situation, normally overnight guests sleep on the floor in the other room.

After Duke got there, while we were eating, Doug made a comment. "If I ever catch you in bed with Judy and Duke please put the dog on the floor. I don't want her to get hit by the gunfire". The attitude does work for everyone.
Tom

 

[Godobeyer]

Okay, I'm not completely sure I understand you, but I'm interpreting what you said to mean "am I against my husband being jealous because I'm friends with my ex boyfriend?" The answer to that question is yes.

i am not talking about your case

If i am not wrong i remember that your said " marriage required 0% jealous " , is not you ?

That might be because you assume she will have sex with him. My question to you would be what, other than the fact that she used to date him, would make you think that? Has she ever said "I want to have sex with my ex boyfriend"? Just the fact that she still talks to him isn't enough for you to make unflattering assumptions.


With all the responses you've gotten in both of these threads, you think I am the special case? I'm not saying anything that vast majority of the men responding to you aren't saying, I'm just saying it while in possession of a vagina.

that's reason ,that most of men don't accept their girfriend or wife to stay on contact with EX .

Are her ex boyfriends your property, too? Is it possible they could offer sex to her and her say no to them? That's how you trust your wife.

the good question why her boyfriend is still her property , is not suppose she get in NEW page ?

Everyone has a past.

indeed you right but
that's not what i meant


I mean is suppose the husband marry her a woman , in condition that his wife is cleaned/forget her past ?

and open new page/life with her husband alone ?


that standard case , i suppose ?

 

[Godobeyer]

After Duke got there, while we were eating, Doug made a comment. "If I ever catch you in bed with Judy and Duke please put the dog on the floor. I don't want her to get hit by the gunfire". The attitude does work for everyone.
Tom

Is he was serious about this ?

edited
and plus a personal question , could you let your wife sleep with men , "i mean as happened to you and with your friends Judy and Duke ..etc " ?


did you jealous if your wife contact her ex ," as a suppose "?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Hi all

I discuss this subject with RF member in other thread , she told me that she is on contact with her ex-boyfriends , and her husband knows that .

so do you agree that your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife stay on contact with her/his EX ?

I mean she/he get in privet together or visit each other in privet....etc

We tell each other to have fun, play safe, and to drive home safely. We trust each other.

Now with an ex? We'd probably wonder what they're thinking (because exes are exes for a reason), but it's our lives. We trust there aren't any plans to run away with an ex when we've been happily married for 12 years. Still, have fun, play safe, and drive home safely.

 

[Kirran]

I think it is obscene that you think your wife being sexually harassed is just cause for you to be jealous.

If you're by any means typical in this regard of the men of your country, then some very serious changes are in order.

Also, jealousy is a sign of insecurity. Being insecure is OK, some people are insecure. But using that insecurity as an excuse to impose your will upon your partner through taking advantage of different levels of power? Not cool, yo.

 

[columbus]

Is he was serious about this ?

No, not really.
But he does have an insecure jealous streak. So I would never do anything that would upset him in that way.

It normally doesn't happen. I'm generally prudish these days. I avoid the appearance of impropriety, to avoid misunderstanding and hurt.
Tom

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

thanks for share this stange story

honestly , you just sleep with , you never ever touch her ?

I don't know if most of Western accept like this ? but if was me , i will divorce her at that moment .

Over trust is not chandler /excuse to let me accept this kind of acts .

A few months ago, I shared a hotel room with my ex-girlfriend. Really.

We were all going to the same event, so we split a hotel room. My fiancee couldn't get the time off work, so she didn't go.

We got a room with 2 beds. My ex and her current boyfriend slept in one, I slept in the other. It worked fine.

 

[columbus]

edited
and plus a personal question , could you let your wife sleep with men , "i mean as happened to you and with your friends Judy and Duke ..etc " ?

I don't have a wife. Remember? Doug is my partner, we're gay.
I have gotten angry in the past when I found out he'd had sex with other people after he said he wouldn't. It was not the sex, It was the breaking a promise that angered me.

But I was more angry when he bought a very expensive sports car after agreeing not to until we both agreed. Which I was not going to do. So he went ahead and did it without telling me. Spending 43,000 dollars on a car...
Tom

 

[Godobeyer]

A few months ago, I shared a hotel room with my ex-girlfriend. Really.

We were all going to the same event, so we split a hotel room. My fiancee couldn't get the time off work, so she didn't go.

We got a room with 2 beds. My ex and her current boyfriend slept in one, I slept in the other. It worked fine.

thanks for sharing this too .


that's may because your ex was with her boyfriend .

lets suppose that you get in situation that you slept with your EX in same room (i mean there is not her current boyfriend) , Did your fiancee fine with that too ?

 

[Godobeyer]

I don't have a wife. Remember? Doug is my partner, we're gay.
I have gotten angry in the past when I found out he'd had sex with other people after he said he wouldn't. It was not the sex, It was the breaking a promise that angered me.

But I was more angry when he bought a very expensive sports car after agreeing not to until we both agreed. Which I was not going to do. So he went ahead and did it without telling me. Spending 43,000 dollars on a car...
Tom

I do

but i guess you told me that you had childern from women ?


I agree with you with not wasting money in car

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

thanks for sharing this too .


that's may because your ex was with her boyfriend .

lets suppose that you get in situation that you slept with your EX in same room (i mean there is not her current boyfriend) , Did your fiancee fine with that too ?

The situation hasn't come up, but I assume so. I'm not sure if I'd personally be comfortable with that, though.

 

[Kirran]

I'd have no problem sleeping in the same room as an ex, and I'd have no problem with a partner sleeping in the same room as their ex.

 

[Akivah]

so your are against that someone get jeolous for his/her lover

Jealousy is defined as 1) resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself 2) mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love.

Typically the word 'jealousy' is used when the resentment and suspicion is unjustified. Given that, I am against someone being jealous.

I can't imagine my wife contact her ex .

Well in your environment, where women are treated as property and mixing of the sexes is forbidden, I'm sure you can't imagine it.

Even i trust my wife , should i trust her ex-boyfriends ?NOWAY .

That's nonsense. I've heard that excuse before from unreasonably jealous spouses. So if you can lock your spouse in a box, then you can trust them. But any contact with any male, and all trust leaves you. It's the same as saying you don't trust your spouse.

 

[Nada]

I don't know about you and your town, but here in Texas, that just don't fly.

 

[columbus]

but i guess you told me that you had childern from w

Perhaps I was unclear.
Judy was pregnant with our child when we were about 20 y/o. But s/he died a few weeks along. That is the only time I had a child. We never even knew if a boy or girl.
Tom

But s/he was my child and I completely changed my mind about abortion from thinking about that.
Tom

 

[Godobeyer]

Jealousy is defined as 1) resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another's success or advantage itself 2) mental uneasiness from suspicion or fear of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love.

Typically the word 'jealousy' is used when the resentment and suspicion is unjustified. Given that, I am against someone being jealous.

in 2)
SO if someone harassed your wife , or your wife harassed someone afront of you , what will be your reaction since you are not jealous man ?

Well in your environment, where women are treated as property and mixing of the sexes is forbidden, I'm sure you can't imagine it.

you blame me that i jealous , and i considere this action as cuckold ?
and reject that my wife to contact her ex ?!!!

That's nonsense. I've heard that excuse before from unreasonably jealous spouses. So if you can lock your spouse in a box, then you can trust them. But any contact with any male, and all trust leaves you. It's the same as saying you don't trust your spouse.

I agree a little bit but

"lock your spouse in a box" , or "trust" THESE issues , comes after precautions , THEN if your wife cheat on you that her fault .

I mean you can't be partner to her fault then blame her alone or even be sorry .

for some reason in many cases (the overtrust) that turn to cuckold and cheating .

then If we give a space to your wife to cheat on you , could you blame her ?

 

[Godobeyer]

Perhaps I was unclear.
Judy was pregnant with our child when we were about 20 y/o. But s/he died a few weeks along. That is the only time I had a child. We never even knew if a boy or girl.
Tom

But s/he was my child and I completely changed my mind about abortion from thinking about that.
Tom

sorry for your lost , may God will give you better

did try to to make her pregnant again or with other woman ?

 

[Marisa]

in 2)
SO if someone harassed your wife , or your wife harassed someone afront of you , what will be your reaction since you are not jealous man ?

I'll answer this one, too. If my husband harassed another person, male or female, in my presence jealousy would not make the emotional list. I would be ANGRY that he was treating another human being in such a disrespectful manner. I would NEVER assume it was the other person's fault that my husband was a complete ******* to them.

 

[Godobeyer]

I'll answer this one, too. If my husband harassed another person, male or female, in my presence jealousy would not make the emotional list. I would be ANGRY that he was treating another human being in such a disrespectful manner. I would NEVER assume it was the other person's fault that my husband was a complete ******* to them.

good

IF she enjoy with his harassement , and she try to contact him personally ?