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I'm terrified for tomorrow.

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
I don't care anymore. It's over. I lost, like always. So I might as well go out in anger. Maybe the cops will put me out of my misery. (No, I'm not going to attack them or whatever, they just like to gun down mentally ill people.)
 

Sutekh

Priest of Odin
Premium Member
After all you can still manage to live in the same place without the landlord knowing.
 

Godobeyer

the word "Islam" means "submission" to God
Premium Member
I am sorry for you friend SF.

I guess it's time to be strong , I think life is really hard in West,than here, espcially in City.

I wish you were here to help you, no one live hungry or out of home. here are more generous I guess.

In this moment my suggestion you need to find a job at night (as security..or anything), and work at daylight . then and if you are not marry yet, find a woman had work, to marry .
 

Nyingjé Tso

Dharma not drama
No, you did not loose, not like always

You are going to get through it
You are NOT alone
You are strong, brace yourself, it's going to pass and they you will get back up on your feet

Don't give up! You still have options, give them a chance, you will NEVER fail if you try ! The only failure is not trying ! Go for it, we are with you, I am with you !
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
No, I really don't have options. This is it. I have nothing - nothing. No one is here for me. I'm all alone. There is no one to help me. No neighbors wondering what's wrong and offering to help, even after my loud outburst. I don't matter. I think my life was just destined to end like this. It was **** from the start and it's **** at the end, with mostly **** inbetween. I'm just going to be another statistic that no one cares really about. There will be no obituary for me, either. None of you know my name, either. Please, just forget about me.
 

Sutekh

Priest of Odin
Premium Member
I understand you're not in a good mood, but can't you just knock on someone's door and explain your situation to them for help? I am implying at a different area perhaps if your neighbors aren't going to help. Why not go to a church and ask for help there?
 

Nyingjé Tso

Dharma not drama
FFS don't even dare to ask me to forget you because I will not, never, and you can't do **** about this ! I don't give a **** about knowing your name or not, it doesn't define your worth !

Get up ! Breathe ! You're alive and you are going to get through this ! You've been through all, you CAN go through this !

Take your dog and GO to your neighbour yourself ! You need someone, a human being with you right now, SO GET UP AND KNOCK ON A ****ING DOOR NEARBY FRANK, I SWEAR TO GOD DO IT.
 

OceanSoul

Member
Hello, I'm a new member here. I was lurking about and reading this forum when I saw this thread of yours. I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through and hope a solution comes your way! Definitely don't give up and keep pushing through it. I don't live in Ohio so I don't know if there are any social services offices there that might have a program they have to help you find housing or perhaps there is a different parish you can go to? When it feels like your world is falling apart, it is really hard to not want to break and stop living, as you probably know.

I wish you goodwill since there isn't much I can do to help. I agree that the current healthcare system is suffering and leaving those like you in jeopardy is unacceptable and must change.

-OceanSoul
 

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
Go to a Hare-Krishna temple or a Gurudwara. Help is available in Churches also. Don't be alone. You sure need help.
 

Quintessence

Consults with Trees
Staff member
Premium Member
That sounds nice and all, and I really envy those people (St. Francis of Assisi, duh) but I'm really not at that place yet. I don't have people or meaningful relationships, so I surround myself with things, for comfort. I also have an intense fear of loss because I've lost everything multiple times in my life (both in terms of belongings and loved ones). So I've become a borderline hoarder.

From what I gather from the monk's story, the walking is part of what helps you get to "that place." I could see you doing something like the wandering monk does - going on a long walk, sharing your story to pass on its lessons. As much as I like his story - of mindfulness and letting go - the story that could come out of your walk would be so much more down-to-earth than that. It is the story of the downtrodden, who too often are ignored, are not granted faces nor names. There you would be, walking the road, stopping in the local coffee shops, sharing the story. Making people think. Making them look. Making them see the invisible minorities. Maybe changing some minds, planting a seed for changes. You've got the passion. You've already planted many seeds of change already. Maybe you don't notice? It's hard for us to notice our own impact. People don't tell us what they mean to us. We don't see how one little thing we did was transformative weeks, even years down the road.

I don't know if any of this is at all useful. There are no certainties. Neither you nor I know what tomorrow brings. But I do know one thing for certain. I will not ever forget you, and you have never been a statistic to me.
 

Demonslayer

Well-Known Member
It was **** from the start and it's **** at the end, with mostly **** inbetween.

I take it those asterisks don't say "awesome?"

I'm just going to be another statistic that no one cares really about.

Lots of people on here seem to care.

You need to go back to your sister and just say "look, I know we have our problems but I really need help right now." She won't turn you out on the street. Swallow your pride and go to your sister.
 
The landlord is supposed to get the sheriff to put me out tomorrow. I spent the night in the ER after threatening suicide throughout the day yesterday and some people called the cops on me for it. Appreciate the gesture, but no solutions there. I don't know if I should call the landlord and beg him not to do it or what. I doubt that would work because I tried that yesterday. My anxiety and fear is through the charts. Of course, there's no one there for me right now. I emailed my sister and a friend and no response from either of them. Can't get ahold of my caseworker. I don't really want to die, but it's a scream for help. I would rather be dead than to be out on the streets and literally lose everything - all of my belongings and all of my pets (especially my beloved dog). My belongings would just be thrown in a heap in the backyard while I...what? Watch in shock? Scream and cry?

I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I would also rather be dead than to be in a homeless shelter. I can't be around a bunch of people who are more unhinged than me, who are criminals and with no privacy. It's bad enough in the psychiatric section of the ER. I felt unsafe just this morning in the ER, being around criminals and perverts. It seems that society would also rather that people like me be dead, too, judging from the abysmal state of our mental healthcare system. My own sister doesn't even offer to let me stay with her. Am I that worthless? Well, people have a funny way of making me feel that way.

I don't know where I'm going with this, why I bothered to type it or what I'm trying to say. Everything's just falling apart for me.

That sucks man, but where is the rest of the story?

That is, why are you being evicted? Unless you violated your lease/rental contract, or failed to pay the rent, there is no legal recourse for your landlord to do that.
 

Demonslayer

Well-Known Member
That sucks man, but where is the rest of the story?

That is, why are you being evicted? Unless you violated your lease/rental contract, or failed to pay the rent, there is no legal recourse for your landlord to do that.

I think the short story is that Frankie has medical problems that makes it hard to work most jobs and thus he couldn't make rent.

Francis, correct me if I'm wrong.
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
That sucks man, but where is the rest of the story?

That is, why are you being evicted? Unless you violated your lease/rental contract, or failed to pay the rent, there is no legal recourse for your landlord to do that.
When it reaches the stage where the sheriff attends (they don't actually do it themselves) an eviction,
the matter has already been heard in court, & a judgement for the landlord's possession rendered.
He needs alternative housing.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Okay, here's what happened. I'm not being put out today. There was another court hearing today. I tried to get a continuation to seek legal representation, but the judge decided to be an a-hole. So I'm going to get a red tag on my door. Yeah, I'm going to be evicted. From the date the tag is posted, I'll have 5 days to get out. It might take them one or two business days to get around to doing it, so basically I have a week to move. That's a bit of a relief.

So now I just pack, find an apartment (one that will take a Golden Retriever and a couple of cats) and move (I could hire a moving service for that). The only issue is that I need first and last month's rent, and a security deposit. I'm not broke, but I don't have all the money for that right now. :/ If I can finally get this out of the way, I'll be fine when it comes to housing. I'll be out of a very unhealthy, negative environment and would be finally able to focus on other things.
 

Demonslayer

Well-Known Member
Okay, here's what happened. I'm not being put out today. There was another court hearing today. I tried to get a continuation to seek legal representation, but the judge decided to be an a-hole. So I'm going to get a red tag on my door. Yeah, I'm going to be evicted. From the date the tag is posted, I'll have 5 days to get out. It might take them one or two business days to get around to doing it, so basically I have a week to move. That's a bit of a relief.

So now I just pack, find an apartment (one that will take a Golden Retriever and a couple of cats) and move (I could hire a moving service for that). The only issue is that I need first and last month's rent, and a security deposit. I'm not broke, but I don't have all the money for that right now. :/ If I can finally get this out of the way, I'll be fine when it comes to housing. I'll be out of a very unhealthy, negative environment and would be finally able to focus on other things.


Good news Francis. Seems like your head is in a little better place today as well, bravo sir.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
Good news Francis. Seems like your head is in a little better place today as well, bravo sir.
At the moment. I broke down at the courthouse and the owner was taunting me and gloating. I wish him death. I'm mostly mad that he got away with it and he'll be able to con more vulnerable people. He's an evil person. God is watching him, imo.

Luckily, the clinic I go to, where my psych nurse and my caseworker are, is up the street so I went there to calm down. I didn't get to see them today, but I've known the receptionist for years and she let me sit by her with a box of tissues. She's nice. There was a patient there, an old lady, and she kept telling me everything will be fine.
 
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