If you embark on a quest to clean up the world, starting with Washington DC, you will buy some red spandex.
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Inexorable Consequences
- Thread starter Revoltingest
- Start date
If you buy some red spandex, you will be tempted to wear it out to a dance club that night.
If you wear spandex out to a dance club that night, you will boogie like you've never boogied before!
If you boogie like you've never boogied before, some hot chick will want you to be her boogie-man.
If some hot chick wants you to be her boogie-man, you will buy her a Harvey Wallbanger.
If you buy her a Harvey Wallbanger, she will get tipsy.
If you prop her up, she will fall over in the other direction.
If you prop her up, she will cop a feel.
If she falls over in the other direction, and cops a feel, you will fall for her and ask her to marry you.
If you look like a fool for not having a ring, you will run out to an all night jewelry store to get one in a hurry and spend too much for it.
If your zombie family finds out, they will show up at the wedding and eat all the weddings guests.
If your new wife is very mad at them and becomes a zombie hunter, pulling a shotgun out of her wedding dress and killing your former family, you will have no pork rinds left to eat.
If youl wake yourself out of an anchovy and cottage cheese pizza induced nightmare, you will crave some Greek yougurt.
If you crave some Greek yougurt, you will go to Greece to get some really fresh stuff.
If you go to Greece to get some really fresh stuff, you will lecture them for wasting money & being lazy.