Inexorable Consequences

[BSM1]

If you are reminded that you have a terrible allergy to cats, you will look for a cure.
If you look for a cure, you will explore a rain forest.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you explore a rain forest, you will ingest an exotic parasite named Bob

 

[4consideration]

If you explore a rain forest, you will ingest an exotic parasite named Bob

If you ingest an exotic parasite named Bob, your landlard named Revoltingest will require that you put down a pet deposit for him.

 

[Revoltingest]

If your landlord, Revoltingest, requires that you put down a pet deposit for Bob, you will borrow the money from your ex.

 

[4consideration]

If you borrow the money from your ex, you will end up spending it at the mall and will then make "puppy dog eyes" at Revoltingest, promising him visitation rights -- once Bob has matured and vacated his current premises.

 

[Revoltingest]

Once your exotic parasite named Bob has matured & vacated the premises, you will feel enui because of empty nest syndrome.
If you feel enui, you will look it up in a dictionary.
If you look up "enui" on the dictionary, you will drop it on your foot when you try to put it away.
if you drop your dictionary on your foot, you will aggravate that sensitive bunion.

 

[BSM1]

If you aggravate that sensitive bunion, you will be walking in my shoes.
If you are walking in my shoes, you will cause me to trip.

 

[4consideration]

If you cause me to trip, I will fall down.
If I fall down, I will see things from a new perspective.
If I see things from a new perspective, I will develop a keen interest in shoes.

 

[BSM1]

If you develop a keen interest in shoes, you will develop an interest in knots.
If you develop an interest in knots, you will join the Navy.

 

[4consideration]

If you join the Navy, you will have a Honey in every port.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you have a honey in every port, you be seen as a ladies man by your peers.

 

[BSM1]

If you are seen as a ladies man by your peers, you will try to live up to the image.
If you try to live up to the image, you will OD on viagara.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you OD on Viagra, you will seek help for a painful & unremitting condition of "readiness".

 

[BSM1]

If you seek help for a painful & unremitting condition of "readiness", you will be too embarrassed to discuss your problem.
If you are too embarrassed to discuss your problem, you will try home remedies.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you try home remedies, you will be disappointed & full of a painful permanence.
if you are full of a painful permanence, you will become desperate for help.
if you become desperate for help, you will go to a pharmacy & explain your condition.
If you explain your permanent condition to the woman behind the counter, she will offer you 50% profit in the store for your 'companionship'.

 

[4consideration]

If she offers you 50% profit in the store for you "companionship," you will decide to make the best of a bad situation.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you decide to make the best of a bad situation, you will become a partner in a pharmacy.
If you become a partner in a pharmacy, you will take an interest in business.

 

[4consideration]

If you take an interest in business, you will start handling the compliance/regulatory/tax paperwork for the business.
If you start handling the compliance/regulatory/tax paperwork for the business, you will feel deflated.
If you feel deflated, you will be bummed out but also will notice that you no longer have the situation of painful permanence to deal with.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you become bummed out after noticing that you no longer have the situation of painful permanence to deal with, you will hanker for a cheeseburger.

 

[BSM1]

If you hanker for a cheeseburger, you will sell your share of the pharmacy.
If you sell your share of the pharmacy, you will open a greasy spoon restaurant.