Is It Possible For Males and Females to Be Platonic Friends?

[Sunstone]

I know, right? I was starting to believe myself and question common sense, but then a leading authority spoke up and revealed upon me a slew of revelation.

Indeed, "He Who Speakest For Us All" has spoken. I was blind, but now I see.

 

[dust1n]

Indeed, "He Who Speakest For Us All" has spoken. I was blind, but now I see.

Oh, wait. What if you just don't "desire" to be with some women, because you are already wholly satisfied with the one you are currently engaged in a monogamous agreement with, thus are able to be friends (EVEN ATTRACTIVE FRIENDS) with people of the opposite (or same, as illustrated) sex somehow manage to control your hormones long enough not to rape them!!

I think I'm on to something here.

 

[Shermana]

If you're going to disagree, at least don't change the context from consentual relations to rape. If I have to clarify "Don't have to be in the friend zone" implies "with consent and allowed". *Also included is religious prohibition against extra-marital activity.

And at the very least I would bet dollars to shekels that nearly all men as in the grand majority are not looking to be solely in the friend zone if they don't have to be. And the rate of cheating in relationships testifies.

 

[Cassiopia]

In answer to the OP...
Yes it is possible. I have many platonic friends of the opposite sex.

 

[Songbird]

And at the very least I would bet dollars to shekels that nearly all men as in the grand majority are not looking to be solely in the friend zone if they don't have to be. And the rate of cheating in relationships testifies.

Seriously? Nearly all men, whether in happy relationships or not, want to screw their female friends? That's a dismal view of men.

 

[MissAlice]

I haven't been following thread but in answer to the OP, yes you can have platonic friends of the opposite sex. I have many friends who are male and as strange as this sounds, I seem to get along with guys easier than I do women. That's not to say I couldn't be friends with a woman or that a woman's friendship would be of less value than a man's. But yes it is possible. Even my sisters have many friends who are male.

 

[Shermana]

Seriously? Nearly all men, whether in happy relationships or not, want to screw their female friends? That's a dismal view of men.

Do you honestly think a single one of your male friends is not hoping for the day?

 

[Songbird]

Do you honestly think a single one of your male friends is not hoping for the day?

Yeah, I do think that. Even if some want to, they clearly want other things more - like to not ruin their marriages, or to be respectful to me, or to win the lottery. But I've been able to maintain plenty of close platonic relationships for years - some of them intense due to work situations - without crossing boundaries.

 

[Shermana]

Well that's why I said "If they were able to", which I guess I need to clarify further, includes social and work situations. Either way, the fact that they'd want to is enough to prove my point, even if they don't act on it or try for it due to various impediments.

I abstain for religious reasons, I have to practice self-discipline to not think lustfully about every pretty woman I see.

I.e. If it's possible without problems.

Would you be purely platonic friends with a woman you found particularly attractive (judging by your responses to certain female posters) without thinking lustfully/desiring if there was no reason not to?

 

[Kathryn]

Wow. I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

As a huge supporter of women's rights, and a believer in "the divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood" I am always a bit bemused by women who claim to get along better with men than with other women.

To me, the only thing sweeter than the bond between women, is the bond between lovers. (And I realize that sometimes that's the same thing, but as a heterosexual, I haven't experienced that, so I'm not discussing lesbian relationships.)

But as I've said, to each his own.

 

[Songbird]

Well that's why I said "If they were able to", which I guess I need to clarify further, includes social and work situations. Either way, the fact that they'd want to is enough to prove my point, even if they don't act on it or try for it due to various impediments.



I.e. If it's possible without problems.

Yeah, I still don't think every man wants to get with every female friend. That's quite the generalization.

 

[MissAlice]

Wow. I'm sorry, I just don't get it.

As a huge supporter of women's rights, and a believer in "the divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood" I am always a bit bemused by women who claim to get along better with men than with other women.

To me, the only thing sweeter than the bond between women, is the bond between lovers. (And I realize that sometimes that's the same thing, but as a heterosexual, I haven't experienced that, so I'm not discussing lesbian relationships.)

But as I've said, to each his own.

It isn't that I purposely choose men over women, it's just that I seem to get along socially better with men than women. As I said before, I do not take the value of a female's friendship any less than a man's. I just seem to have more friends that're guys. No two or three women are the same nor men imho.

 

[MissAlice]

Well that's why I said "If they were able to", which I guess I need to clarify further, includes social and work situations. Either way, the fact that they'd want to is enough to prove my point, even if they don't act on it or try for it due to various impediments.

I abstain for religious reasons, I have to practice self-discipline to not think lustfully about every pretty woman I see.

I.e. If it's possible without problems.

Would you be purely platonic friends with a woman you found particularly attractive (judging by your responses to certain female posters) without thinking lustfully/desiring if there was no reason not to?

Wow just......wow. I'm surprised. What if the woman is unattractive? What would be the reason a man would want to be friends with such rubbish?

 

[Shermana]

What if the woman is unattractive?

That would be why I said "Desirable woman". Find an unattractive woman with lots of male friends and then talk.

What would be the reason a man would want to be friends with such rubbish?

There would be no reason. Maybe if she has a use I suppose like helping with homework or being a DD or is rich or something. Again, find an unattractive woman who has many male friends (who aren't just trying to get ugly-easy) and then you'll have a legitimate rebuttal.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Well that's why I said "If they were able to",
I abstain for religious reasons, I have to practice self-discipline to not think lustfully about every pretty woman I see.

So... what keeps you faithful isn't love or even concern about hurting your partner?

Your wife's a lucky woman. :sarcastic

Would you be purely platonic friends with a woman you found particularly attractive (judging by your responses to certain female posters) without thinking lustfully/desiring if there was no reason not to?

I would. I have, in fact.

 

[Shermana]

I can totally be platonic friends with a chick if she's not too good looking.

Kilgore at least is honest about this. Kudos, Kilgore.

 

[Shermana]

So... what keeps you faithful isn't love or even concern about hurting your partner?

Your wife's a lucky woman.

Thanks for the personal commentary, but when I do marry, I will (G-d willing) remain faithful out of sincere religious belief which is something most wives will not have the luxury of having with their husbands. Any woman who says their husband's eye never wanders is likely deluded, but I suppose there are a few, few, few rare examples.

I would. I have, in fact.

I'm not a psychic, but I doubt that you've never thought lustfully about your more attractive female friends. But your testimony is your testimony. Assuming you like girls.

 

[Songbird]

Kilgore at least is honest about this. Kudos, Kilgore.

So your theory is that all men want to bang all women they're friends with, and men who don't admit it are dishonest.

Wow. You're a gem.

 

[Songbird]

Thanks for the personal comment, but when I do marry, I will (G-d willing) remain faithful out of sincere religious belief which is something most wives will not have the luxury of having with their husbands. Any woman who says their husband's eye never wanders is likely deluded, but I suppose there are a few, few, few rare examples.

It's not about a "wandering eye". Most men and women may briefly indulge in desire or fantasy, but there's a difference between a thought and an obsession. There's a difference between a thought and want as well.

 

[Shermana]

So your theory is that all men want to bang all women they're friends with, and men who don't admit it are dishonest.

Wow. You're a gem.

Call me what you want, but anything less would be dishonest of me to say. My female friends agree. And not necessarily bang.

.

There's a difference between a thought and want as well.

Thoughts and wants are highly corrolated.