Is it wrong if you want to know a partners or potential partner's biological/original gender?

[Wherenextcolumbus]

No I get that.But its been proposed that If (for example) I declined to be with a trans man even if they had a penis ..just based on they were a trans man I would be a bigot.

Well yeah, if the sole reason to reject someone is because they are trans then it is transphobic

 

[DallasApple]

Well yeah, if the sole reason to reject someone is because they are trans then it is transphobic

Even if we can agree its a "phobia"(I would call it more a sexual aversion) I still would not call that bigotry against a group.

 

[Poeticus]

Even if we can agree its a "phobia"(I would call it more a sexual aversion) I still would not call that bigotry against a group.

Dallas, refer back to post #687. If the evaluations from professionals (not online posters of RF [no offense to the wondrous posters on these forums]) conclude that you are not a bigot when it comes to trans-gendered peoples and that you are not a transphobe, I wouldn't worry about posting on this thread anymore. You are only doing yourself a disservice by becoming angst with what others say regarding your views on whether it would be transphobic to do this or not, etc. etc. etc.

To be honest, stop digging a hole for yourself. You are over thinking many of the replies you have received in regards to many of your posts. And, I am saying this only because I love you. You'z my homegurrllll.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Well yeah, if the sole reason to reject someone is because they are trans then it is transphobic

Exactly. :yes:

Tell you what though, this thread is turning into a 3rd grade playground where people are talking about what other people are saying without addressing them face to face. I prefer pillow fights because they're more fun. And at least it's honest about how childish it is.

Want a pillow?

 

[DallasApple]

Dallas, refer back to post #687. If the evaluations from professionals (not online posters of RF [no offense to the wondrous posters on these forums]) conclude that you are not a bigot when it comes to trans-gendered peoples and that you are not a transphobe, I wouldn't worry about posting on this thread anymore. You are only doing yourself a disservice by becoming angst with what others say regarding your views on whether it would be transphobic to do this or not, etc. etc. etc.

To be honest, stop digging a hole for yourself. You are over thinking many of the replies you have received in regards to many of your posts. And, I am saying this only because I love you. You'z my homegurrllll.

:hug:

I'm not over thinking this though.And I don't know why I would be digging a hole.Who's going to shovel dirt over me?

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

Exactly. :yes:

Tell you what though, this thread is turning into a 3rd grade playground where people are talking about what other people are saying without addressing them face to face. I prefer pillow fights because they're more fun. And at least it's honest about how childish it is.

Want a pillow?

I would join in but I think I have given up to be honest, you did well though.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I would join in but I think I have given up to be honest, you did well though.

I appreciate the compliment. Maybe a pillow fight might not be a suggestion. But how about a round of drinks? I'll buy.

 

[Poeticus]

Who's going to shovel dirt over me?

No one. It's best to not get worked up over this. As it has been explained, preference and phobia are completely two different things. I don't think if you, yourself, were in Tom's shoes...you would freak out. So, I don't know why you would be considered transphobic. And, I don't think that's what you have been called either. Like I said, professional, certified, and accredited evaluation and opinion is the best way to figure out if you are transphobic or not. For me to even suggest that shows the silliness of this whole conversation. That it's nothing too serious.

More importantly, none of these posters (expect one or two) are attacking straights nor cis-gendered people that desire to have intercourse with other cis-gendered people only - especially not Mystic and Penumbra.

Their comments are only in-line with the OP. If it is anyone that needs to be blamed....it is the OP - the dude's just vanished from this thread.

No one here thinks you are a transphobe nor a bigot (except one or two, maybe). Especially not me. It would be better to have this conversation face to face with someone, for written words on a forum cannot personify the facial expressions 100% (not unless you are GRRM of A Song of Ice and Fire).

Furthermore, the topic has gone a little wayward. Not even the OP has responded to a few questions raised by me about his original post.

I appreciate the compliment. Maybe a pillow fight might not be a suggestion. But how about a round of drinks? I'll buy.

Long Island Iced Tea, por favor.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I appreciate the compliment. Maybe a pillow fight might not be a suggestion. But how about a round of drinks? I'll buy.

Double amaretto and lemonade

Can I just say I used to be bi-phobic , and I wouldn't of recognized this as bigotry at the time.

 

[DallasApple]

I think in the end I'm fine with my kids being called "transphobic" if the only result of that phobia is choosing not to consent to sex with a trans sexual..I will however never accept that means they are "bigots".If my kids were against for example a trans sexual having their gender identity on their DL? Problem ..If my child said I would not rent a room or hire a trans sexual ? Problem I would speak out against.That's bigotry.Not wanting to personally have sex with a transexual is not "bigotry".Its a sexual preference.

 

[Revoltingest]

And I see that as Tom's problem. Shirley was living her life, Tom was living his, and Tom is, at the very minimum, upset with Shirley and refuses to approach her, even though Tom was playing with fire and got burnt.
A wise woman once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, Tom is letting the social stigmas of sleeping with a transwoman get to him. Shirley has obviously gotten over many of these stigmas. But this isn't about contracts and legalities. Really, what I see, are replies insisting that the stronger character submit to the weaker character because the weaker character is stuck in his ways and get's angry from the consequences rather than learning from them.

That's one way to see it. Were I Shirley, early on in the relationship I'd reveal my status, since I know it could have a destructive effect to have him find out later. One could argue that Tom's suffering is his fault because of some personal inadequacy, but to cause him pain still strikes me as irresponsible. Inadequacy shouldn't crowd out consideration for feelings. If something is important to someone, even if you believe it shouldn't be, tis best to address it early on.

And, a landlord isn't required to disclose that walls used to be painted red, the trim used to be mahogany, and the floor used to be hardwood.

A landlord needn't meet the same legal requirement as a broker or seller in a sale (under MI law). The notices you mention are extraordinarily unlikely to concern a buyer, but if the buyer exhibits such a concern, then I'd be bound to divulge it. My example of a murder in the house has been an issue for some southeast Asian immigrants....religious stuff, you know.

 

[DallasApple]

Can I just say I used to be bi-phobic , and I wouldn't of recognized this as bigotry at the time.

HOW were you bi-phobic?And how is it now bigotry?

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

HOW were you bi-phobic?And how is it now bigotry?

I wouldn't want to date some who was bi just because they were bi, I thought you were either gay or straight and I wouldn't know where I stood with a bi person.
Pretty stupid.

 

[DallasApple]

I wouldn't want to date some who was bi just because they were bi, I thought you were either gay or straight and I wouldn't know where I stood with a bi person.
Pretty stupid.

I don't think that is "bigotry".

You can call it stupid but I don't see that as being a bigot.

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

I don't think that is "bigotry".

You can call it stupid but I don't see that as being a bigot.

Well a bigot is someone with a fear or phobia about a certain group of people

 

[MysticSang'ha]

No one. It's best to not get worked up over this. As it has been explained, preference and phobia are completely two different things. I don't think if you, yourself, were in Tom's shoes...you would freak out. So, I don't know why you would be considered transphobic. And, I don't think that's what you have been called either. Like I said, professional, certified, and accredited evaluation and opinion is the best way to figure out if you are transphobic or not. For me to even suggest that shows the silliness of this whole conversation. That it's nothing too serious.

More importantly, none of these posters (expect one or two) are attacking straights nor cis-gendered people that desire to have intercourse with other cis-gendered people only - especially not Mystic and Penumbra.

Their comments are only in-line with the OP. If it is anyone that needs to be blamed....it is the OP - the dude's just vanished from this thread.

No one here thinks you are a transphobe nor a bigot (except one or two, maybe). Especially not me. It would be better to have this conversation face to face with someone, for written words on a forum cannot personify the facial expressions 100% (not unless you are GRRM of A Song of Ice and Fire).

Furthermore, the topic has gone a little wayward. Not even the OP has responded to a few questions raised by me about his original post.

Dude, you rock. Well stated.

Long Island Iced Tea, por favor.

Double amaretto and lemonade

WOO-HOO!! Coming right up! I'll join in with a 7 and 7! :bounce

Can I just say I used to be bi-phobic , and I wouldn't of recognized this as bigotry at the time.

I understand. No worries. A lot of people are. Many times it's a source of wonder for couples who are wanting to spice their sex life up or it's an assumption that I just am confused about my "real" orientation. Apparently I need to either come totally out of the closet or I should get over this gay phase I'm having.

Either way, the phobia surrounds the notion that I'm a real human being with real sexual attractions just like everybody else. I'm not an object or a play toy or a freak or a sicko. It's those assumptions, though, from what I've noticed, that make for the phobias with people.

 

[DallasApple]

Well a bigot is someone with a fear or phobia about a certain group of people

No..a bigot is someone who hates a group and thinks they are better.Who wishes ill on anyone in that group.

having a "phobia" is different than "bigot" ..I can have a phobia about flying in an airplane..that doesn't mean I hate airplanes and I think NO ONE should fly on one..I don't try to block other people from flying on one..I just personally avoid it..

 

[Wherenextcolumbus]

WOO-HOO!! Coming right up! I'll join in with a 7 and 7! :bounce

Cheers, *sip
So how's life?

I understand. No worries. A lot of people are. Many times it's a source of wonder for couples who are wanting to spice their sex life up or it's an assumption that I just am confused about my "real" orientation. Apparently I need to either come totally out of the closet or I should get over this gay phase I'm having.

Either way, the phobia surrounds the notion that I'm a real human being with real sexual attractions just like everybody else. I'm not an object or a play toy or a freak or a sicko. It's those assumptions, though, from what I've noticed, that make for the phobias with people.

Yeah but I think not accepting it as a valid sexual orientation is very insulting.

 

[DallasApple]

I had a fear of flying (a phobia) so I'm a bigot.

It also just can't simply "be" .Its a turn off.Like a preference..you have to be not only phobic but a bigot.

 

[DallasApple]

ah but I think not accepting it as a valid sexual orientation is very insulting.

Who is not accepting it? I do not have to have sex with males who are heterosexuals to "accept" they are heterosexuals.