OldBadger's version of the Noah story:-
So there was this Prophet, see?, well, he was rubbish at teaching and guiding his people 'cos they all thought he was full of BS and wouldn't listen to or even look at 'im.
Even 'is Missus thought he was a joke and, anyway, she liked a slightly different lifestyle to being a good faithful loyal wife to a failed messenger....... if yer knows wot I mean.....
So 'e built this bloomin' great barge and started stuffin' hippos and elephants in to it, but 'e didn't need to stuff whales in it 'cos they can already swim, ok?, and then it started raini'in'. Anyway, so Noah told 'is Missus he was just goin' to bang some more nails in here 'an there on the barge deck, and then all the good decent boring people got on the barge, all moanin' about not bein' able ta move for bleedin' crocodiles and all.
Mrs Noah came out of their tent and called up to Noah,'Ere! You waste of space! You forgot yer tool bag! I'll bring it up!'
But Noah called down to 'er....... 'No probs! Leave it there! Don't go to no trouble.... stay down there an' do the dishes!'
The rain fundered darn and soon after the barge lifted orf an' floated away. Mrs Noah couldn't swim yer see, never needed to, 'cos she never had days out at the seaside.
What's not to believe?