Masturbation

[bain-druie]

and that's your right.
but calling it orgasm doesn't make it so.
you can also call clitorises - penises, that's also your right.
but calling it penis doesn't make it so.

no irrationality of my views have been pointed out, not a single one. logically, because, there are none.

Welllll, I don't HAVE to call it an orgasm. *shrug* Sometimes I call it what the French call it; 'le petit mort', the little death; but I can *always* call it ecstasy, euphoria, bliss, climax, and glory! If that's not an orgasm by your definition, you can have your kind!

And, since the clitoris *IS* female erectile tissue which acts in much the same way as the penis, getting engorged with blood upon sexual arousal, I actually COULD call it the female penis and be physiologically correct.

The fact that you believe you are the only rational voice on this thread tells me I may as well give up here and now. There is no basis for reason with you, if you honestly believe none of us have disproven anything you stated. So, see ya!

 

[I Keep Unicorns]

Awww, where did horntooth go? I miss him.
I still want an answer to my last post. If not an orgasm, then when what is the word (or what should be the word) for when a woman reaches the peak of her sexual pleasure which involves the vaginal contractions? Or is that too denied?
If an orgasm is strictly ejaculation & pleasure, what is the word for the feeling a man commonly experiences during ejaculation?

 

[Strength & Honor]

Why do some people think it is wrong?

For those of us who have a problem with it, I think the real reason is that it encourages lust, which is expressly forbidden in the Bible. The other problem I personally have is that it's almost always accompanied by the use of pornography, which is highly addictive. It's also a huge industry that degrades women in pretty much every way imaginable (and unimaginable, for that matter). Also, in my opinion, it's incredibly selfish.

 

[Skwim]

For those of us who have a problem with it, I think the real reason is that it encourages lust, which is expressly forbidden in the Bible.

So where did you get your information that it encourages lust? From everything I've read it does no such thing.

The other problem I personally have is that it's almost always accompanied by the use of pornography, which is highly addictive.

So if it really doesn't encourage lust and it's not accompanied with porno, I assume you'd have no problem with it. Correct?

Also, in my opinion, it's incredibly selfish.

Kind of like listening to music or watching a movie while alone. Or perhaps not sharing your Double Whopper with Cheese. Terribly selfish.

 

[bain-druie]

For those of us who have a problem with it, I think the real reason is that it encourages lust, which is expressly forbidden in the Bible. The other problem I personally have is that it's almost always accompanied by the use of pornography, which is highly addictive. It's also a huge industry that degrades women in pretty much every way imaginable (and unimaginable, for that matter). Also, in my opinion, it's incredibly selfish.

Thank you for explaining your viewpoint.

However, the idea that masturbation encourages lust is mistaken. On the contrary, it is a release of sexual tension that otherwise builds up to become extremely distracting.

Also, I NEVER use pornography. Don't need it. :no:

As for being incredibly selfish, believe me - it's for the greater good of humanity that people masturbate and rid themselves of some of the excess hormones plaguing them. I've dealt with men who are against masturbation, and they are the most prone to harassment of any men I ever met. I'd far rather work around men who sate themselves if and when their partner isn't there or able to.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

For those of us who have a problem with it, I think the real reason is that it encourages lust, which is expressly forbidden in the Bible. The other problem I personally have is that it's almost always accompanied by the use of pornography, which is highly addictive. It's also a huge industry that degrades women in pretty much every way imaginable (and unimaginable, for that matter). Also, in my opinion, it's incredibly selfish.

Shouldn't you have a problem with being self-righteous also then?

 

[Strength & Honor]

So where did you get your information that it encourages lust? From everything I've read it does no such thing.

Well, what do you think about when you masturbate? If we think lustful thoughts in order to get off during masturbation, then yeah, masturbation encourages lust, IMO.

So if it really doesn't encourage lust and it's not accompanied with porno, I assume you'd have no problem with it. Correct?

Not necessarily. There is still the issue of selfishness as addressed below.

Kind of like listening to music or watching a movie while alone. Or perhaps not sharing your Double Whopper with Cheese. Terribly selfish.

Ha ha. But when I'm feeling horny, I don't turn to music, movies, or food. I’m looking at this biblically, so I don't understand if you don't agree. Sex, IMO, should be about doing something really, really nice for your spouse. It’s about giving, not taking. Masturbation is about pleasing yourself, and gives nothing to anyone but you. So, that’s why I think it’s selfish.

 

[Strength & Honor]

Thank you for explaining your viewpoint.

You’re welcome.

Also, I NEVER use pornography. Don't need it.

While I really am glad to hear that, trust me you are, unfortunately, in the minority in that regard.

I've dealt with men who are against masturbation, and they are the most prone to harassment of any men I ever met. I'd far rather work around men who sate themselves if and when their partner isn't there or able to.

I’m sorry you have had bad experiences with those men, but it is in no way safe to assume that every man that deems masturbation inappropriate is like that based on your limited, skewed sample. I’ve never harassed anyone. Those kinds of men have something wrong with them.

 

[Strength & Honor]

Shouldn't you have a problem with being self-righteous also then?

Yes, I do. I also have a problem with judging others. I’m the worst offender of them all when it comes to masturbation. I’m the lowest of the low. I know all too well the effects of heavy masturbation and pornography addiction. I fought that battle for more than 12 years (and I’m only 25, though I’ve been “clean” for about two years), and I have many friends in the church (yes, Christians do it, too) who have fought the same battle – some of whom are still struggling. It hurts people – good people like my own wife. She hates it. When I was active in it, it made her feel ugly, unappreciated, and stupid. She cried, she left the house, and she told me that she felt like I had cheated on her. And it was all because I wanted to do something for myself.

You do not know me, so please do not judge me.

 

[Skwim]

Well, what do you think about when you masturbate? If we think lustful thoughts in order to get off during masturbation, then yeah, masturbation encourages lust, IMO.

I make a distinction between thoughts, perhaps fantasies, of sexual encounters and lusting after them, which would fall under one or more of the following definitions.

1. intense sexual desire or appetite.
2. uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or appetite; lecherousness.
3. a passionate or overmastering desire or craving

Ha ha. But when I'm feeling horny, I don't turn to music, movies, or food. I’m looking at this biblically, so I don't understand if you don't agree. Sex, IMO, should be about doing something really, really nice for your spouse.

Okay, if that's how you view sexual experiences; that they're for pleasing others.

It’s about giving, not taking. Masturbation is about pleasing yourself, and gives nothing to anyone but you. So, that’s why I think it’s selfish.

I guess under your definition of purpose as you've expressed it---sexual acts are only for pleasing others---masturbation would be short changing someone else. But even if they don't want to be pleased at the time? After all, what's the harm in eating a burger by yourself when the other person isn't hungry, and later sharing one with them later?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Yes, I do. I also have a problem with judging others. I’m the worst offender of them all when it comes to masturbation. I’m the lowest of the low. I know all too well the effects of heavy masturbation and pornography addiction. I fought that battle for more than 12 years (and I’m only 25, though I’ve been “clean” for about two years), and I have many friends in the church (yes, Christians do it, too) who have fought the same battle – some of whom are still struggling. It hurts people – good people like my own wife. She hates it. When I was active in it, it made her feel ugly, unappreciated, and stupid. She cried, she left the house, and she told me that she felt like I had cheated on her. And it was all because I wanted to do something for myself.

You do not know me, so please do not judge me.

Well gee, it's no wonder you have such a harsh POV about masturbation. You and your wife both internalize ugliness when the Big Bad Lust starts to loom over your heads. No wonder you both feel ugly and awful. :hug:

Bain isn't in a tiny minority, though. My husband and I have an active sex life. We have a porn collection. And masturbating isn't frowned upon at all (and nearly 38, I've been REALLY enjoying my sexual peak, so my libido and my husband's libido has switched intensities over the last ten years). Truth be told, I know many couples who don't freak out or are addicted to porn, and see it as an occasional luxury or moment of fun.

I DO think that masturbation is very misunderstood as a side effect of our cultural misunderstandings of sex and sexuality. We still operate under a code of honor/shame when it comes to sexuality but it's more implicit nowadays with only a few things remaining written in law (against GLBTQs no less).

That being said, I won't offer any advice to you or judge you personally. I AM rather sad that you and your wife have suffered so much emotionally because of sexual urges. :flower:

 

[Misty]

Is that because your a ******* pervert.

What an offensive remark, what is your meaning?

 

[Ozzie]

What an offensive remark, what is your meaning?

Your meaning by "taught"? What are you playing at?

 

[Misty]

Your meaning by "taught"? What are you playing at?

Sorry if I phrased that badly, I didn't mean literally taught as in shown how to do it, of course that would be abusive. What I meant was children should be told as part of sex education lessons that masturbation is OK. I believe that is the case in many UK schools.

 

[Misty]

My advice: Stick to knitting socks for grandies. Your thread is perverse granny.

And you seem to be rather sick, I would get help if I were you!

 

[Ozzie]

And you seem to be rather sick, I would get help if I were you!

Children will have sex naturally in most cases when they are ready for it (assuming confidence is most parents to do the right thing in parenting and raising children). So, suggestion of an agenda to "teach" children as you suggest is perverted "Granny".

 

[McBell]

Children will have sex naturally in most cases when they are ready for it (assuming confidence is most parents to do the right thing in parenting and raising children). So, suggestion of an agenda to "teach" children as you suggest is perverted "Granny".

Perversity is in the eyes of the perceiver.

 

[tumbleweed41]

Is that because your a ******* pervert.

Your meaning by "taught"? What are you playing at?

My advice: Stick to knitting socks for grandies. Your thread is perverse granny.

Children will have sex naturally in most cases when they are ready for it (assuming confidence is most parents to do the right thing in parenting and raising children). So, suggestion of an agenda to "teach" children as you suggest is perverted "Granny".

So your suggestion is to let children learn about sexuality on their own? (On the assumption that parents, knowledgeable such as yourself, will guide them?)
That formal education on healthy sexuality is perverse?
And to back up your position you rely on ad hominem attack on Misty's character?

 

[Ozzie]

Perversity is in the eyes of the perceiver.

Nice line from you Mestemia.

 

[McBell]

Nice line from you Mestemia.

I just find it extremely funny that you call Misty the pervert when it is actually yourself who is the pervert.