Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
Indeed. I think it is quite sexist to ignore the fact that there are tons of slutty chicks out there.
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Men need more sex than women - right?
- Thread starter nnmartin
- Start date
Indeed. I think it is quite sexist to ignore the fact that there are tons of slutty chicks out there.
Skwim
Veteran Member
I Googled "sex drive men versus women."
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
Before I read this thread, let me guess:
The OP has made some sort of unsupported claim presuming that men have a higher sex drive than women primarily because it's "natural" and despite plenty of feedback from other people he makes absolutely no change in his opinions and continues to think with his gut rather than his brain.
Oh hey look I was right.
On the average, men and women peak sexually at different times. There's no connection between this and social stigma because at no point does it become socially acceptable to be a "****" as a woman. "Playin the field" as a man is not always socially acceptable, but primarily in youth it is socially encouraged (As long as you don't knock up those slutty women.) Why do you think nymphomania is a "female" disorder and a lack of desire for sex is a male disorder? Because of the social expectations of both genders.
Men and women cheat at equal levels although more women will lie about it than men. Again, social stigma, not actual desire levels vary.
Individual sex drives vary wildly throughout a person's life, throughout a year, or throughout a month. Making assumptions about the individual based on the aggregate will lead you astray. And for the record asexuality occurs in both men and women, there are no good numbers on prevalence of aces that I'm familiar with. It's a small population and not one studied with significance.
The OP has made some sort of unsupported claim presuming that men have a higher sex drive than women primarily because it's "natural" and despite plenty of feedback from other people he makes absolutely no change in his opinions and continues to think with his gut rather than his brain.
Oh hey look I was right.
On the average, men and women peak sexually at different times. There's no connection between this and social stigma because at no point does it become socially acceptable to be a "****" as a woman. "Playin the field" as a man is not always socially acceptable, but primarily in youth it is socially encouraged (As long as you don't knock up those slutty women.) Why do you think nymphomania is a "female" disorder and a lack of desire for sex is a male disorder? Because of the social expectations of both genders.
Men and women cheat at equal levels although more women will lie about it than men. Again, social stigma, not actual desire levels vary.
Individual sex drives vary wildly throughout a person's life, throughout a year, or throughout a month. Making assumptions about the individual based on the aggregate will lead you astray. And for the record asexuality occurs in both men and women, there are no good numbers on prevalence of aces that I'm familiar with. It's a small population and not one studied with significance.
Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
I just look at how it really is. Men are mostly perverts. Women are prudes when it comes to sex.
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
How do you judge that in a way that takes into account the bias of social stigmas?
From what I have learned from men about their sexual psychology, the amount of time spent thinking of sex, the level of need that would drive most men to have sex even with people they find unattractive.
Isn't it usually women in the relationship that say no to sex?
Isn't it usually men who are known for having sex with animals when there aren't women around?
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
That whole "Men think about sex every X seconds" thing isn't accurate.
And how many men do you know who have sex with women they don't find attractive at all? I suspect that this is another social thing, where they talk trash after the fact because they have to disrespect a woman who puts out.
Men don't always think about sex - USATODAY.com
So you'll note that although men think about sex more, they also think about food and sleep more which suggests that it isn't the 'sex' that's the reason.
How do you know this is innate vs. socialization? (And how do we know it is true?)
Additionally, another point to raise is that the physical wear on a female during PIV sex is far more significant than the physical wear on a male. How many women would be up for more sexual activity if it didn't always involve PIV? (I see this sort of question come up a lot in sex advice columns.)
How is this different - in the sense of desire not abuse or fetishes or whatever - from a woman with a vibrator or a hairbrush handle? And as far as the fetish part of things go, the logistics are different for men and women as well.
I'm just saying, there's actually a LOT of overlap on the bell curves of desire for men and women. And not much evidence to say that men are actually more highly driven that doesn't ignore the fact that women are raised and pressured not to be sexual and that society presses this on them. Most of our impressions about sexuality are based on those social presentations and anecdotal evidence/experience.
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
Actually there are a number of studies that show even the elderly get horny and enjoy a good lay. One study even suggested the decline of sexuality in old age is more due to the side-effects of various medications than age itself.
Sorry, but women can be just as interested in sex as men, with women typically wanting it more than men when they peak sexually during their thirties. And that is based on scientific observations, not the views of a sexually repressed patriarch.
Skwim
Veteran Member
I tend to speak a lot from my own personal experiences.
I feel hesitant in this topic because I am not a woman who has reached her sexual peak.
My experience has been that sexual desire is heavily linked with emotion. When I start to like someone and then the more I like them, the more I seem to want or need to have sex. But when I am entirely unattached to any particular person, I can go days and sometimes weeks without wanting/caring for sex.
And I know a lot of girls who feel the same way and cope very easily going months or years without sex. But these are girls in their teens and 20s. I haven't spoken about this with women in their sexual peak years.
I feel hesitant in this topic because I am not a woman who has reached her sexual peak.
My experience has been that sexual desire is heavily linked with emotion. When I start to like someone and then the more I like them, the more I seem to want or need to have sex. But when I am entirely unattached to any particular person, I can go days and sometimes weeks without wanting/caring for sex.
And I know a lot of girls who feel the same way and cope very easily going months or years without sex. But these are girls in their teens and 20s. I haven't spoken about this with women in their sexual peak years.
Songbird
She rules her life like a bird in flight
I have to say, the stigma is both under-recognized and very powerful. From the supposed female responsibility to be the partner to say no to sex, to the archetypes of the whore versus the virgin, there's a lot of shame to fight in being a sexual female that males simply don't ever have to face.
You know the adage if you're told often enough that you are something, you'll end up being that? Girls are always told they're naturally more nurturing and emotional, and boys are always told they're more sexual. Messages are internalized so subtly and thoroughly that they're often mistaken for natural urges.
Songbird
She rules her life like a bird in flight
I'm saying the article you quoted is one of a plethora on the subject, and many are contradictory. Some say men think about it more but don't want it more, some break it down by age category, etc.
Kathryn
It was on fire when I laid down on it.
I totally agree that women can be just as interested in sex as men - or more so. Actually, I would add "OF COURSE women can be just as interested in sex as men - or more so." At ANY stage in life.
Sex is too individualistic to make blanket statements about it. But generally speaking, young men are really horny, and women in their thirties are really horny.
Sex is great. I plan on several more decades of enjoying how great it is.
I will say this though - I think as we get older and more settled into long term relationships, sex becomes more integrated into all the other interesting and time consuming aspects of our lives and relationships. It's not that it's any less pleasurable, or less fulfilling - to me as a relationship balances out, sex finds it's place so to speak - and that place is in amongst the kids, jobs, dinner, 401ks, laundry, triumphs, failures, aging parents, grandchildren, tragedies, daily walks, dogs, moving, fixing the disposal, gardening, trips to the museum, concerts, Little League, promotions, layoffs - in other words life. As you build an intimate relationship, things other than sex develop.
It's not that sex becomes less important - it's that it shares it's importance with other things - and there are only 24 hours in a day.
That's why it's critical to determine what our priorities are - individually and with our partners.
Life is short.
Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
That's what I like, clear distinctions
Hey. Where did you get that picture of me?
illykitty
RF's pet cat
I'm the complete contrary. I was very horny in my teens even though I wasn't attached to anyone. Of course I didn't sleep with anyone, because I was waiting for someone I would love. Some of my friends weren't so patient...
Now that I'm married sex happens less often because of other priorities (sleep, activities, hobbies, etc). Not because of less desire. If women peak during their thirties, I worry for my husband! XD He has less libido than me.
So see, personal experience goes both ways. It means nothing and societies fabricates social "standards", stereotypes and such. It puts pressure on people to act a certain way, because they think it's the "normal" thing to do. They want to be socially acceptable. I never cared for it and so did my husband. So I suppose we're "weird" by social standards and there's something wrong with both of us (me having high libido and him not).
And the OP is just looking for people agreeing so he doesn't feel so bad being a horny dog.
Heathen Hammer
Nope, you're still wrong
I've always had a high drive, young and older, attached or single. Im inclined to tentatively agree with that part of the OP, but the rest is just odd. Don't really agree with any of the rest.
