Men need more sex than women - right?

[dawny0826]

Men and women can be equally into it at various times. I think it incredibly odd that we come into our primes at such conflicting times.

Women can be as sexually charged as men, especially when some of us venture into our thirties...

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Men and women can be equally into it at various times. I think it incredibly odd that we come into our primes at such conflicting times.

Women can be as sexually charged as men, especially when some of us venture into our thirties...

Darn straight, gorgeous. :highfive:

I've always had a high sex drive. When I was a teenager it honestly was difficult to control, but I did since I knew I wasn't educated enough to make smart decisions. But after I became better educated (by the time I was in my 20's, a lot came from some extremely patient and good-natured lovers), I was ready to explore outward.

My thirties have been marked by returning back into my own skin, so to speak, and feeling so comfortable with myself. I think my sex drive has led me to explore within....my own body, my own mind.....I have used this part of my life to know myself better.

I'm entering yet another phase of my life at this point, as an entrepreneur, as a woman who is seeing her children one by one leave the nest, as a wife who is looking with her husband to create abundance not just for our children, but our grandchildren and future generations long after we have passed. It's interesting to see that sex now is the engine for the "creative potential." It goes beyond having a great orgasm, which is what we always have believed, but we're finding ways to use our individual sex drives.....which are both high (mine is higher than my husband's).....to achieve other things.

I can nod my head to Kathryn's post where she states that sex has a time and place, but I think I agree from different context (correct me if I'm wrong, K). It's kind of like food, I think. Food can sustain. Food can inspire. Food can heal. Food can entertain, bring a family together, and even act as an aphrodisiac. But have you ever thought about food, started salivating from the thought, and then found yourself suddenly driven to write poetry you never thought you could create? Food is much more than just something to eat. It can be put in appropriate places simply due to the fact we only have 24 hours in a day, but the love and desire for food doesn't have to immediately translate to gluttony.

Napoleon Hill once wrote about the "transmutation of sexual desire" into productivity for business. So, look.....we don't have to hump our partner's leg every time we feel horny. Just like we don't have to order a large stuffed crust pizza every time we think about how good it might taste. Just like we don't have to become a hermit and take a vow of silence, celibacy, poverty, etc. in order to study and practice various spiritual disciplines. Sex drives are so much more than saying to your partner, "Dang, I'm in the mood to poke something. Can I bend you over?"

I mean, as great as sex can be, limiting sex overall to a male ejaculatory paradigm is so incredibly depressing. Even limiting sex overall to a female multiple orgasmic paradigm becomes hollow after a while. Even limiting the end-all and be-all of sex to the various fetishes we have at our disposal can get old. I'm looking at the endless possibilities we have when we see just where these powerful instinctual drives can take us.

 

[dawny0826]

Darn straight, gorgeous. :highfive:

I've always had a high sex drive. When I was a teenager it honestly was difficult to control, but I did since I knew I wasn't educated enough to make smart decisions. But after I became better educated (by the time I was in my 20's, a lot came from some extremely patient and good-natured lovers), I was ready to explore outward.

My thirties have been marked by returning back into my own skin, so to speak, and feeling so comfortable with myself. I think my sex drive has led me to explore within....my own body, my own mind.....I have used this part of my life to know myself better.

I'm entering yet another phase of my life at this point, as an entrepreneur, as a woman who is seeing her children one by one leave the nest, as a wife who is looking with her husband to create abundance not just for our children, but our grandchildren and future generations long after we have passed. It's interesting to see that sex now is the engine for the "creative potential." It goes beyond having a great orgasm, which is what we always have believed, but we're finding ways to use our individual sex drives.....which are both high (mine is higher than my husband's).....to achieve other things.

I can nod my head to Kathryn's post where she states that sex has a time and place, but I think I agree from different context (correct me if I'm wrong, K). It's kind of like food, I think. Food can sustain. Food can inspire. Food can heal. Food can entertain, bring a family together, and even act as an aphrodisiac. But have you ever thought about food, started salivating from the thought, and then found yourself suddenly driven to write poetry you never thought you could create? Food is much more than just something to eat. It can be put in appropriate places simply due to the fact we only have 24 hours in a day, but the love and desire for food doesn't have to immediately translate to gluttony.

Napoleon Hill once wrote about the "transmutation of sexual desire" into productivity for business. So, look.....we don't have to hump our partner's leg every time we feel horny. Just like we don't have to order a large stuffed crust pizza every time we think about how good it might taste. Just like we don't have to become a hermit and take a vow of silence, celibacy, poverty, etc. in order to study and practice various spiritual disciplines. Sex drives are so much more than saying to your partner, "Dang, I'm in the mood to poke something. Can I bend you over?"

I mean, as great as sex can be, limiting sex overall to a male ejaculatory paradigm is so incredibly depressing. Even limiting sex overall to a female multiple orgasmic paradigm becomes hollow after a while. Even limiting the end-all and be-all of sex to the various fetishes we have at our disposal can get old. I'm looking at the endless possibilities we have when we see just where these powerful instinctual drives can take us.

Yes, yes.:clap

 

[illykitty]

But you didn't have sex in your teens. So of course you would have been sexually frustrated and very horny. That described me as well. But I've calmed down A LOT since actually losing my virginity.

Well that's the difference... I haven't calmed down, I simply acknowledge that there is a time for it and that my husband needs his sleep for work.

 

[Duck]

There are plenty of double standards and hypocrisies around in the sexual world so I want to test the waters and see if any of it is justifiable.

The usual one is that men need more sex than women and therefore have a right to be promiscuous.

I think there is some truth to that due to biological and psychological need.

Any agreement on this?

How about cheating on your partner - seems to be a common double standard here too in that a man has more leeway if his girlfriend is not providing the necessary action.

Turn the tables though and it's a serious no no.

I think I agree with this to an extent also , in that a man must have sex on a regular basis but a woman not.

Doubt I'll have too many supporters here , but hey - what the heck!

It would be easier to focus on Mr and Mrs Average for the purposes of the debate.

any takers?

The whole idea that men have stronger sex drives than women and that men should 'sow their wild oats' in youth and women must save their virginity for marriage is a patriarchal construct intended to maintain women in an inferior and second class status. Women's sex drives are as strong as men's drives that western culture has set up largely under the influence of religious ideology.

There is a dichotomy, what Figleaf on his blog 'Real Adult Sex' (the link may or may not be considered safe for work - there is no nudity on the blog but there is frank discussion of matters related to sex and sexuality) boils down to 2 statements that are interlinked:

1. It is simultaneously inconceivable and intolerable for a woman to have sexual desire.

2. It is simultaneously inconceivable and intolerable for a man to be sexually desired.

Most if not all gender related problem can be linked back to some combination of these two statements.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

The whole idea that men have stronger sex drives than women and that men should 'sow their wild oats' in youth and women must save their virginity for marriage is a patriarchal construct intended to maintain women in an inferior and second class status. Women's sex drives are as strong as men's drives that western culture has set up largely under the influence of religious ideology.

There is a dichotomy, what Figleaf on his blog 'Real Adult Sex' (the link may or may not be considered safe for work - there is no nudity on the blog but there is frank discussion of matters related to sex and sexuality) boils down to 2 statements that are interlinked:

1. It is simultaneously inconceivable and intolerable for a woman to have sexual desire.

2. It is simultaneously inconceivable and intolerable for a man to be sexually desired.

Most if not all gender related problem can be linked back to some combination of these two statements.

BOO-yah!! :clap2: Excellent!!!

 

[Duck]

BOO-yah!! :clap2: Excellent!!!

Thank you! you should check out Figleaf's site, it has some very interesting discussions, he seems to be pretty down on patriarchy for the most part.

 

[no-body]

Generalizations are generalizations. Just going by statistics you should treat everyone equally as an individual and allow them to unfold as they are rather than trying to box them into an easy label.

 

[riley2112]

I disagree here because I think you need sex to feel like a man.

?

Really? I mean really?

 

[nnmartin]

yes, I would say that is true.

Is there anything wrong with that idea?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Man has a psychological need for sex in order to fulfill his potential.

Those that are celibate their whole life no doubt have a low sex drive or have an incredible affinity to dwell at the apex of the Pyramid of Purity.

Nuns and monks for example.

I disagree here because I think you need sex to feel like a man.

Ok, agreed - biologically you can go without but it isn't natural.

Psychologically a man needs it.

A woman probably does too but not as much.
Do you mean we should stone all fornicators and adulterers then?

To give you some insight, from someone who is going to school to study human sexuality and gender identity among other things, psychologically sex is a need for men and women. There are sex differences with arousal, responses, and so on, but there are the same biological drives and urges, the same neurological response happens, and the same neurochemicals are released, including endorphins that are chemically similar to morphine, dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin, and on paper is actually a very fascinating occurrence, and it really seems like alot for a human body to go through with. There is debate on if men and women have similar or different orgasms. Personally I think it may be both, as the ability to orgasm is both physical and mental. However for men it tends to be more physical and women it tends to be more mental. But you may find it interesting to know that men who are paralyzed at least from the waist down can still have an ejaculation. And there are men who for whatever reason lost their penis that do report having an orgasm-type of feeling in their head, although obviously they do not have a sexual organ to trigger an orgasm. My own personal experience is there are both mental and physical orgasms.
As for a man needing a drive to fulfill their potential, that is only true if you happen to a very shallow evolutionary psychologist or some sort of biologist that believes the only purpose in life is to reproduce.
Another difference between men and women is men typically sexually peak during their 20's, and women during their 30's.
As for monks and nuns, and those of celibacy, anyone can do it, but it is EXTREMELY unhealthy to those of a normal sex drive. There are many psychologist who have hypothesized that the reason so many Catholic priest molested kids is because of there pent-up sexual frustrations which causes people to seek out sexual gratification in any way they can get it, even if it is socially unacceptable.
If you have any questions it's a topic I enjoy discussing.

 

[riley2112]

yes, I would say that is true.

Is there anything wrong with that idea?

I believe the idea is lacking in fact. Lets say I am in love with a woman , she dies , I never remarry or have another relationship because I never fall in love again.
And because my love was so great for my deceased wife I never felt the need to have sex with another. Does that make me less of a man? If someone feels that they are not a man because they are not having sex then I believe they have no idea what a man is. Just my opinion.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I believe the idea is lacking in fact. Lets say I am in love with a woman , she dies , I never remarry or have another relationship because I never fall in love again.
And because my love was so great for my deceased wife I never felt the need to have sex with another. Does that make me less of a man? If someone feels that they are not a man because they are not having sex then I believe they have no idea what a man is. Just my opinion.

There are also the mental and physical dangers of believing you have to be sexually active. Many teens get off to a bad start with sex because they were pressured into having it before they were ready or even wanting to, and some will even catch an infection because they caved to the common idea of men have to be sexually active to be men and women have to be sexually active to attract and keep a boyfriend. And of course there are those who will get pregnant, even after their first time, because of peer pressure. It's a very dangerous and potentially hazardous mentality to hold onto.

 

[nnmartin]

well, to an extent we do have to live within the realms of our culture as to what makes us happy or not.

I doubt a great many people back in the West would be too happy living on the streets and eating out of dumpsters, yet in some poor countries this is fairly normal behaviour without so much stigma attached to it - an thus less negative feelings all round.

ask any male aged around 20-25 how he would feel if he was banned from sex for 2 years, or just couldn't get any because no-one fancied him.

Why do you think there is such a thriving porn and vice industry?

 

[McBell]

 

[Me Myself]

well, to an extent we do have to live within the realms of our culture as to what makes us happy or not.

I doubt a great many people back in the West would be too happy living on the streets and eating out of dumpsters, yet in some poor countries this is fairly normal behaviour without so much stigma attached to it - an thus less negative feelings all round.

ask any male aged around 20-25 how he would feel if he was banned from sex for 2 years, or just couldn't get any because no-one fancied him.

Why do you think there is such a thriving porn and vice industry?

Me and my Girfriend are having a celibate relationship right now.

Admitedly, not what I wanted originally, but it´s what she is up to go and I love her, so it is how it is. (we are both 21 years old)

Sex is not everything in life. Ultimately, is not even that important. It is indeed true that men tend to have a bigger or more frecuent sexual desire than women, but there is a radical difference between WANT and NEED.

Men don´t NEED sex. If you were alone in an island without sexual partners for 10 years you wouldn´t explode (of course you might die from other causes , but I can garantee you that lack of sex is not up there in the treaths department.)

 

[McBell]

Me and my Girfriend are having a celibate relationship right now.

Admitedly, not what I wanted originally, but it´s what she is up to go and I love her, so it is how it is. (we are both 21 years old)

Sex is not everything in life. Ultimately, is not even that important. It is indeed true that men tend to have a bigger or more frecuent sexual desire than women, but there is a radical difference between WANT and NEED.

Men don´t NEED sex. If you were alone in an island without sexual partners for 10 years you wouldn´t explode (of course you might die from other causes , but I can garantee you that lack of sex is not up there in the treaths department.)

Yeah, well I am guessing after that ten years you are going to screw anything that moves, cause, you know, men just have to have sex....

 

[Me Myself]

Yeah, well I am guessing after that ten years you are going to screw anything that moves, cause, you know, men just have to have sex....

 

[McBell]

no thank you.

I gots me own.

Thanks anyway.

 

[Me Myself]

no thank you.

I gots me own.

Thanks anyway.

You said anything that moves. It may even be a woman´s hand, I didn´t ask google images