If being a Muslimah means being subordinate to my husband like a songbird in a gilded cage -- there to look pretty and obey his whims just because he feeds me -- then Islam is not for me. In any case, it appears as though other Muslims/Muslimahs have different ideas on this issue; so I think it may just be a manner of how you're interpreting it.
Yes, men and women are physically different in some aspects; but the notion of equality between the sexes doesn't mean men bearing children and women doing heaver upper body lifting. Equality between the sexes means that neither is the property of the other -- neither is subordinate to the other one.
In an equal relationship, husband and wife have equal say on matters of the household. One isn't subordinate to the other one's will; but instead they talk together about how to solve problems. They listen to one another -- and no one has the "final word," because ideally they come to a compromising solution.
They respect one another -- they don't just leave for somewhere without saying so, or without saying where they're going. Nobody needs permission to do things, but they're considerate by seeing if their lover has an issue with what they want to do.
I prefer that far more than the system you describe.
MM, My marriage is very similar to what you describe as ideal. The wife and I have been together for so long we have hammered out our differences and reached mutual understandings. In the beginning of our relationship, it was more traditional where she stayed at home raising our children. Once they where raised and out of the home, she went to college and got a degree and now has a career. That meant I had to do more around the house. I cook and clean as much or more than she does now. We both come and go as we please like we always did, but we let each other know where we are and when we will be back. We are both equals but we answer to one another as well. I still consider myself the head of the house hold, but I rarely do anything that would reflect that in our relationship. We both have the power to "put our foot down". That means something is unacceptable to us and will be respected. In the last ten years, I have put my foot down once. My wife has this power as well and we both agree to abide by this, but don't abuse this option. I can't remember the last time my wife put her foot down, but I know she has in the past and I respected that. The reason our relationship works so well is we both have the same goals and desires in life.
All that said, this is what works for us. I in no way think that everyone around the world should be just like me. It is wrong for first world countries to expect third world countries to be exactly the same.
It would be hypocritical of us to believe that the whole world be just like us. They may reach a point where they progress just like we did but we have to remember that women in our own country could not vote not all that long ago.
The U.S.A. still has a long way to go before we ourselves have our own act together. There are still inequalities here in the States as I am sure you realise.
My point is, Americans think the whole world should be just like us. That is a great goal but we have to realise that in different parts of the world there are different cultures and laws. They may need another 50 or 100 years to get to where we are. They may never change either.
It upsets me when Americans think the whole world is just like us. It just shows you the ignorance and intolerance we have for the rest of the world.
Many countries are more progressive than we are. I don't want them looking down their noses at us just because we have not obtained their level of accomplishment.
, and I should got for her a house , and festival of the weding is also on me , and in during the mariage i should care about her demands .(at my limite )
