Muslims: Keeping the wife "in line"

[Godobeyer]

I don't think it's cultural hubris to say this: IMO, beating one's wife is incompatible with loving her, and treating her as property (even with some bizarre rationalization about her being "voluntary" property) is incompatible with respecting her.

And I question how much of a free choice the situation is for her. In a Muslim society, what sort of life would a woman have if she did leave her husband. If her other choice is destitution, then we have to assume that her decision to stay - if this is really her decision - is coerced.

the authority of her husband begin at the first day , but of course with love and respect , and care each other . it's acuatly looks like slave and master , but it's it's not .
it's the best way of living for my opinion
the woman in Islam she had limited freedom she need to had the permission of her husband in some cases as my early exemple.

 

[gnostic]

yeah , islam propose a solution for the muslims couples ,God order the wife to obey her husband , because he is the responsible of her 100% , the relation should build in respect and love , the beat is a solution when the woman did something without his permission , for exemple he goes out the house without his permission .

That's not a husband-and-wife relationship. It's not loving relationship; and it is not relationship based on respect, but on power and fear, where the woman is no more than property, like a slave or pet. This type of relationship is more akin to master-and-slave relationship or owner-and-dog relationship.

To beat a wife because she doesn't have her husband's permission is archaic. According to many Muslims here, it is Islamic for a husband to beat his wife.

And I wouldn't even treat a dog that way'; I don't beat a pet, let alone a woman.

 

[Godobeyer]

That's not a husband-and-wife relationship. It's not loving relationship; and it is not relationship based on respect, but on power and fear, where the woman is no more than property, like a slave or pet. This type of relationship is more akin to master-and-slave relationship or owner-and-dog relationship.

To beat a wife because she doesn't have her husband's permission is archaic. According to many Muslims here, it is Islamic for a husband to beat his wife.

And I wouldn't even treat a dog that way'; I don't beat a pet, let alone a woman.

you never beat any think , or something beat you in your whole life ?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

in Islam , God order the woman to respect her husband and obey him .
this is muslims woman duty and Muslim man right .

if i ask why the Pope havent the right to married to get son ,even as he believe that Jesus (pbuh) is son of God , you will told me it's a religious matter
it's the same thing about that case .

You didn't answer my question. Even if she has the duty to obey you - something I stro.gly disagree with, but just suppose - presumably, you also have a duty to act in aloving, respectful way toward your wife (since you did say that Muslim marriagd is based on love and respect, right?). So how is it loving or respectful to force your wife to stay inside when she wants to go out? And "well, I'm allowed to force her" isn't an answer.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

you never beat any think , or something beat you in your whole life ?

I have hit other people before and I've been in fights, but I have never hit anyone who I loved.

 

[beenie]

This thread is getting so disturbing.

Godobeyer, can you please provide me with proof that a man can beat his wife for leaving the house without his permission? Your arguments are all over the place, and you're really worrying me. It has been said over and over again, even by other Muslims, that beating is not ok. I can't help but think your thought process is a result of your culture or upbringing, and not of Islam.

Again, many Muslims reject the meaning of daraba as "beat".

You, on the other hand, seem to almost be pleased to argue it does.

 

[Looncall]

in Islam , God order the woman to respect her husband and obey him .
this is muslims woman duty and Muslim man right .

if i ask why the Pope havent the right to married to get son ,even as he believe that Jesus (pbuh) is son of God , you will told me it's a religious matter
it's the same thing about that case .

No wonder people think that muslims are barbarians. Treating anyone as property is barbaric.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Even as an open practitioner of BDSM, I find some of the views here shocking.

I'm curious to hear opinions on other forms of violence against women....female genital mutilation (FGM), gender-selective abortions, female infanticide, human trafficking, marital rape, dowry abuse....

Because, of course, we ought to be okay and peachy keen with any society that must maintain it's arbitrary misogynist hierarchies. Especially if it requires a degree of violence against women. Right?

Right?

 

[Vinayaka]

Yes, its barbaric. So was the slave trade. So were many situations in the history of the planet. But 95% or more of the planet has evolved to a better place, fortunately. We are dealing with a person who remains in the 5%. Given the conditioning, and the fact that he has never ever seen anything else, or at least been 'able' to see even if its right there in front of him. We are all just products of each of our environments. For example, mt wife honestly thought that all men were alcoholics until she was about 14. Had she not developed friends that had fathers who weren't alcoholics, she might be expecting me to be one.

 

[Godobeyer]

I have hit other people before and I've been in fights, but I have never hit anyone who I loved.

you just said i never hit any one in my life !!!!!!!!
good , you just miss the experience of hit who loved

 

[Godobeyer]

This thread is getting so disturbing.

Godobeyer, can you please provide me with proof that a man can beat his wife for leaving the house without his permission? Your arguments are all over the place, and you're really worrying me. It has been said over and over again, even by other Muslims, that beating is not ok. I can't help but think your thought process is a result of your culture or upbringing, and not of Islam.

Again, many Muslims reject the meaning of daraba as "beat".

You, on the other hand, seem to almost be pleased to argue it does.

sister i gived an exemple of insubordinate wife . when the man could beat his wife for that , yes i have a proof !!!,
the wife should had a permission when she want go out , even if she want to go to the house of her parents or family she need his permission .
in this case she considerate (nashiz ) insubordinate .

موقع الإسلام سؤال وجواب - خروج المرأة لزيارة والديها وأقاربها بدون إذن الزوج

 

[Vinayaka]

sister i gived an exemple of insubordinate wife . when the man could beat his wife for that , yes i have a proof !!!,
the wife should had a permission when she want go out , even if she want to go to the house of her parents or family she need his permission .
in this case she considerate (nashiz ) insubordinate .

موقع الإسلام سؤال وجواب - خروج المرأة لزيارة والديها وأقاربها بدون إذن الزوج

Godobeyer, I'm curious. Are you married?

 

[Godobeyer]

No wonder people think that muslims are barbarians. Treating anyone as property is barbaric.

accuatly it's seems i am the leader of the barbarians here .
for me i no wonder why some people don't understand Islam ,because you prejuge most of time .

 

[Godobeyer]

Godobeyer, I'm curious. Are you married?

not yet , why ?

 

[Vinayaka]

not yet , why ?

It was just a hunch.

But I do admire your honesty and courage in posting here.

 

[England my lionheart]

Doesn't seem much of a level playing field for Muslim Women,it took Women in the west hundreds of years to reach equality through struggle and sacrifice against this kind of mindset,if you can beat your Wife then she should be able to beat you.

 

[Kerr]

I just want to check your last post , because you shocked me , when you tell me if I jealous i am coward

first i guess you misunderstand my definition for jeolous is :
when you see her talking with some one (forgien) man and smilling to him and maybe kiss his cheeks
or dance with her ...etc

What about cultures where you kiss women on their cheek as a greeting?

 

[Kerr]

maybe , and if you see your wife dancing with some one , you will be jealous or you had open mind ?

What about dancers?

 

[Godobeyer]

It was just a hunch.

But I do admire your honesty and courage in posting here.

thank you .
it's just we misunderstand we each other ,
you cannot understand a situation until you live it .

as i told before , the mariage is very big problem with the majority of men whom singles, because it's cost very expensive in most of regions and countries .!!!!

God order the muslim wife to respect and obey her muslim husband because he deserver to be, why ?
before the mariage , he is who gain money (for years of work ) for get married with her . after the mariage , he is the responsible of her food,clothes ....etc

then the some wifes did not considarete all this , and disobey !!!!!

for me i am 31 years old , until now i found the mariage is expensive for 1 time, for this i can't imagine if i get married my wife insubordinate me .
as you said "it's one shoot ".

 

[Godobeyer]

What about cultures where you kiss women on their cheek as a greeting?

it's call kiss ? it's kiss what ever it's kind .