I wouldn't like for my wife to dance with another man, mainly due to religious reasons. That's why I wouldn't marry someone who has no problem doing it. Better find the closest match.
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Muslims: Keeping the wife "in line"
- Thread starter Draka
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I wouldn't like for my wife to dance with another man, mainly due to religious reasons. That's why I wouldn't marry someone who has no problem doing it. Better find the closest match.
by the way i never said/claim that dancing is cheating . it's missjaelous for me .
I am sorry for this post :
but i am sure that they enjoy with her "beautiful" body .
I wouldn't like for my wife to dance with another man, mainly due to religious reasons. That's why I wouldn't marry someone who has no problem doing it. Better find the closest match.
Good point, I just personally don't understand the issue with dancing, but I am not religious. I just want to point out, incase it becomes mis-interpreted, the kisses were kisses of congratulations to the marriage, not passionate kisses.
Originally Posted by Godobeyer
your husband saw that ?
omg ,
how he let that happened afront his eyes ?!!!!!!!!!!!
Draka
Wonder Woman
Jealousy is not proof of care and love, it is born of a sense of ownership. There is a difference between being protective of a person because you love them and being jealous. If you love a person you will want to protect them from getting hurt. Not hurt them. If you hurt your partner, you don't truly love them. Your partner is to be an extension of yourself. If you don't feel that...then you shouldn't be with them.
Why? Because you are worried what someone else may do to her in that environment, or what she might do?
No, I am not his first love and he is not mine. Wishing differently is stupid as if each of us hadn't gone through our previous relationships we would not be who we are now. We have each grown into the people we are and it is the people we are now that we love. I have to be grateful for his previous relationships, for those experiences have molded him into the man I know and love now.
If that's his job and I trust him, then I don't see the issue. Why wouldn't I let him work in a bar? Actually, since I am not his parent, it's not like I have any call to "let" him do anything. He's a big boy, he's an adult, he can make his own decisions. I can voice concerns, but they are his decisions to make.
Why would he be in another woman's bed?
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omg ,
how he let that happened afront his eyes ?!!!!!!!!!!!
He also danced with other females, received kisses etc. It's a time of celebration, we were just married. Of course people wanted to congratulate us both. I completely trust him and he also trusts me, I have no desire toward any other man and he has none toward any other woman, so neither of us had any problem. There was no cheating, lust or desire involved.
With your reaction, should he have slapped/disciplined me?
we had a proverb about the woman (and their past relationships)
all the trees moved by the wind .
but not afront my eyes , man are you sure about she dance in all position ?
i wish to die better than to let her dance or kissed .
ah , you don't jealous to him and he do the same for you . good job guys double fonction
what about if you find him touch a woman with dirty action .
you would do the same with him , you will let someone touch you at the same way ?
ah , you don't jealous to him and he do the same for you . good job guys double fonction
what about if you find him touch a woman with dirty action .
you would do the same with him , you will let someone touch you at the same way ?
You miss the point, there is no "dirty action" we are both completely in love, we would not betray one and other by being lustful toward another man/woman we have no interest in anyone apart from one and other. Therefore if he dances with another female, there is nothing for me to be concerned about and vice versa. If a female gives him a kiss on the cheek to congratulate him on being married, there is nothing for me to be concerned about and vice versa.
When it comes to my husband kissing me and vice versa there is a difference, it's not a "peck" as I refer to it, it is passionate. Not to bring nationality into it, but some people who do not know one and other say hello by kissing on either cheek. There is absolutely no passionate feeling in it. Simply a gesture.
gnostic
The Lost One
godobeyer said:
You can't have equality if one is subordinate to the other.
Equality means shared responsibility and shared decision. If they don't agree with the choice, they compromise.
But where one is subordinate to another, that other is in charge.
So if the Qur'an or Islam teaches that a woman must obey her husband, for whatever reason, then it is not an equal relationship. It is a master-slave relationship.
And it is worse, if a husband can punish his wife for disobedience or insubordination. And the Qur'an say that wife must obey a husband or be punished for disobedience.
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Again, I think we're clouding culture with religion. In many cultures, it is considered normal for men and women to be friendly, even embracing each other, dancing with each other, etc., but in some cultures, this is seen as inappropriate.
For instance, in the US, if we see two men holding hands, our first assumption is that they are a homosexual couple. Meanwhile, in Pakistan, men are often seen holding hands while they walk; it's not a sign of homosexuality there, just a different cultural way of showing a friendship.
To see one's wife dancing with or hugging/kissing (even on the cheek or a quick peck on the lips) a male that's not her husband in THESE cultures that Godobeyer is from would be a huge controversy, while HERE, it's not. There's no use in trying to convince the other side here...
However, slapping, beating, correcting, subordinating, etc. THAT should be a universal agreement that it's unacceptable. Considering intermingling amongst men and women is not hurting US, and if they're fine with it, then leave it be. Physical abuse is an entirely different matter, and one that should be addressed and not allowed.
For instance, in the US, if we see two men holding hands, our first assumption is that they are a homosexual couple. Meanwhile, in Pakistan, men are often seen holding hands while they walk; it's not a sign of homosexuality there, just a different cultural way of showing a friendship.
To see one's wife dancing with or hugging/kissing (even on the cheek or a quick peck on the lips) a male that's not her husband in THESE cultures that Godobeyer is from would be a huge controversy, while HERE, it's not. There's no use in trying to convince the other side here...
However, slapping, beating, correcting, subordinating, etc. THAT should be a universal agreement that it's unacceptable. Considering intermingling amongst men and women is not hurting US, and if they're fine with it, then leave it be. Physical abuse is an entirely different matter, and one that should be addressed and not allowed.
yeah there is huge different between culture and religion .
I know that she maybe she could dance in different position with other men , but don't tell me she kissed by the other men afront her "husband " and he allowed that ?? is this considerate cuckold man for your opinion ?
I admit that most of the women even the Muslims don't wanted to be beating .
but I guess most of muslims women are accuatly live in respect and love with their husbands , I guess this option is rarely used , because 99.9 % of the woman are not insubordinate .
edited : accualty I am with that verse of Quran , which allowed to the muslim husband to beat his insubordanite wife .
i don't not courtesy people here , i love to be honest all the time what ever the consequence .
btw I made a separte between my experience and what Quran said about the beat .
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Godwilling
Organic, kinetic learner
I am quite frank as well and know from experience that men that beat their wives and other people who are vulnerable to them are cowards. I also know that if a man ever beat my sister or daughter, it would be a one time occurrence. After my sister or daughter told me, the man would be afraid of being even rude to my sister.
I suppose that speaks not only to the character of the cowards that beat their wives, but also to the relatives of the wife that condone the cowardly behavior.
for my experience beat insubordinate wife is good solution .
and if my sister or my daughter were beat by their husband because they were insubordinate I will not be sorry , because I give him my sister or my daughter to subordinate to her husband . and it's was her choose ,"her lover", it's she did not accept to continous to live with him "for any reason " , that other case .
A marriage is (or at least is made out to be) a relationship base on mutual love between husband and wife. Beating - i.e. physically attacking - another person is an act contrary to love. Do you really not see the incompatibility here?
Edit: and when you say it's a "good solution", what do you mean? Just that it lets you get your way when you and your wife disagree? Or are you actually claiming that it's positive for anything other than your own selfishness?
So... she got to make a decision of her own once, therefore it's okay to treat her as property?
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yeah , islam propose a solution for the muslims couples ,God order the wife to obey her husband , because he is the responsible of her 100% , the relation should build in respect and love , the beat is a solution when the woman did something without his permission , for exemple he goes out the house without his permission .
God propose solutions to the problem of insubordinate wife ,
1- talk to her "make a discussion with her"
2- avoid her in the bed (don't make sex relation )
3- beat her
4- call arbitor from your family and her family
5- divorce
see the divorce is the last chance and the beat is the thrid solution . the beat is better than divorce in some cases especially when they are loved each other and they had kids .
sometimes instead to d
yes ,
if she want to continous with him if not , it's her decision any way .
I don't think it's cultural hubris to say this: IMO, beating one's wife is incompatible with loving her, and treating her as property (even with some bizarre rationalization about her being "voluntary" property) is incompatible with respecting her.
And I question how much of a free choice the situation is for her. In a Muslim society, what sort of life would a woman have if she did leave her husband. If her other choice is destitution, then we have to assume that her decision to stay - if this is really her decision - is coerced.
And I question how much of a free choice the situation is for her. In a Muslim society, what sort of life would a woman have if she did leave her husband. If her other choice is destitution, then we have to assume that her decision to stay - if this is really her decision - is coerced.
Godobeyer,
I missed that example you gave when I first replied.
Why would you ever need to deny your wife - a capable adult woman who you say you love and respect - the ability to leave the house?
I missed that example you gave when I first replied.
Why would you ever need to deny your wife - a capable adult woman who you say you love and respect - the ability to leave the house?
in Islam , God order the woman to respect her husband and obey him .
this is muslims woman duty and Muslim man right .
if i ask why the Pope havent the right to married to get son ,even as he believe that Jesus (pbuh) is son of God , you will told me it's a religious matter
it's the same thing about that case .
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