"Neighbor boys peep at my scantily clad daughters. Should I have them cover up?"

[lunamoth]

Sorry I did not read all of the posts, but isn't it really up to the teen girls? They should be informed that the neighbors are watching them and make their own choice. Or call the police.

 

[Acim]

I don't know, the one in the red has a little bit of dignity (that or a cellulite problem). You can't even see her eyes...

Wow, I didn't realize until your post that the picture is showing their heads. Surprised I missed that.

 

[McBell]

Wow, I didn't realize until your post that the picture is showing their heads. Surprised I missed that.

WHAT!?!?
They have heads!?

 

[pwfaith]

That may be your dress code, but are you saying that it's wrong for teenage girls to wear bikinis in a backyard pool?

Nope, what others wear is their business but I do think young women should be taught self-respect and that they don't need to flaunt their body to get attention. I wasn't allowed to wear 2-piece swimsuits either but I saved my money and bought my own and wore it on Spring break to the beach with my best friend. Parents never knew. I think back as to why I did that. I wanted a certain type of attention. I want to teach my girls that they don't need to show a lot of skin and having respect from young men is better than sexual attention that certain attires will promote.

I don't have any daughters myself, but my sons had girlfriends over who wore bikinis when they were in our pool....I don't recall any pagan orgies in the backyard from personal recollection.

ROFL who said anything about pagan orgies? Don't read more into the post than there is

 

[pwfaith]

How long do you think you can en'force no bikini's or Daisy dukes
on a teenage girl who wants to wear them? And to what end?

I do agree with the rest of your post though.

As long as I'm the one paying for them As I said in a previous, I wasn't allowed to and I bought them and snuck out in them. It's not something "forbidden", but it's something we talk about already, even though the oldest is only 10. It's just not clothing *I* will purchase for them and if they attempt to wear them out of this house, they will be requested to change. I see far too many young girls, like my DD's age who dress to look like they are in their late teens/early 20s. I just don't get why and what kind of self-respect they are learning by being encouraged to dress this way. I want my DD's to like others for what's on the inside and I want my son to date girls b/c of what is on the inside, not b/c of how much rear or breasts are showing.

 

[pwfaith]

But, the issue I was adding to the mix was the pernicious influence that advertisers and marketers of products have had on modern culture. They've created a ruthless sense of competition, especially among a lot of teenage girls looking for attention, and turned them into neurotic, self-absorbed basket cases who will spend any amount of money on - what are in some cases - toxic cosmetic products, to try to live up to an almost unattainable body image.

I completely agree. I like what Dove has been doing to promote healthy self-esteems and realistic body images, esp in young girls Toolkit & Resources for The Dove® Movement for Self-Esteem

 

[pwfaith]

Sorry I did not read all of the posts, but isn't it really up to the teen girls? They should be informed that the neighbors are watching them and make their own choice. Or call the police.

What are the police going to do? Is it illegal for boys to look at girls, esp those half dressed?

 

[angellous_evangellous]

What are the police going to do? Is it illegal for boys to look at girls, esp those half dressed?

Yeah, I think that in certain cases it might be.

If he calls the police on a non-emergency line and asks about it, they will tell him.

 

[pwfaith]

Yeah, I think that in certain cases it might be.

If he calls the police on a non-emergency line and asks about it, they will tell him.

In rare case, perhaps if stalking was involved, but I just don't get that from the OP. I'm not a man but I think if I asked most of the men I do know, if when they were a teenage boy and the neighbor girl was washing her car in a bikini, would they watch out their window. I have no doubt most would say "Yes!" lol and I bet most grown men would take a few passing peeks too. I have never heard of just looking at someone else as being a crime, esp if they are out in public.

 

[Revoltingest]

Nope, what others wear is their business but I do think young women should be taught self-respect and that they don't need to flaunt their body to get attention. I wasn't allowed to wear 2-piece swimsuits either but I saved my money and bought my own and wore it on Spring break to the beach with my best friend. Parents never knew.

I'm sure that your rebellion was appreciated.
Did you lose any self respect in the process?

 

[angellous_evangellous]

In rare case, perhaps if stalking was involved, but I just don't get that from the OP. I'm not a man but I think if I asked most of the men I do know, if when they were a teenage boy and the neighbor girl was washing her car in a bikini, would they watch out their window. I have no doubt most would say "Yes!" lol and I bet most grown men would take a few passing peeks too. I have never heard of just looking at someone else as being a crime, esp if they are out in public.

But we're not talking about public - we're talking about private property. I think that people have a right to privacy on their own property, whether in the front yard or behind a privacy fence in the back.

And it might not be federal or state law that protects people in this situation -- city code and neighbor complaints cause all kinds of silliness. I mean, you can get seriously fined if a weed grows in your driveway in some parts of the city or get into similar trouble for painting your house the wrong color, etc etc. These offenses hurt nothing but people's sensabilities - so I don't see any reason at all where in some localities it's "illegal" to leer at a woman. Now this probably wouldn't be the case in a public place like the mall or the beach, but at your own home I suspect that women are protected from this kind of thing - at least in some localities.

 

[pwfaith]

But we're not talking about public - we're talking about private property. I think that people have a right to privacy on their own property, whether in the front yard or behind a privacy fence in the back.

Private property that is in public view.

And it might not be federal or state law that protects people in this situation -- city code and neighbor complaints cause all kinds of silliness. I mean, you can get seriously fined if a weed grows in your driveway in some parts of the city or get into similar trouble for painting your house the wrong color, etc etc. These offenses hurt nothing but people's sensabilities - so I don't see any reason at all where in some localities it's "illegal" to leer at a woman. Now this probably wouldn't be the case in a public place like the mall or the beach, but at your own home I suspect that women are protected from this kind of thing - at least in some localities.

I simply have never heard of any codes or laws on this. It seems by now in this society we would have by now. I can understand if you are in your backyard with a privacy fence and people are staring at you from their rooftop. You have taken precautions to ensure your privacy on your private property. Same for looking in your windows. Is it indecent exposure if you get undressed inside your own house, or covered backyard? Would it be if you laid naked out on your front lawn? I don't know, seriously, I don't know the laws, I'm just asking.

I understand about HOA's and things of that nature. We live in a historical neighborhood and anything done to the exterior of the house, or major renovations of historical houses have to be approved. I have friends that live in neighborhoods where they will be fined if the grass isn't cut a certain way. I think the latter is absurd but you agree to it when you move there. However I have never heard of any rules or laws about watching someone else working in their front yard - only if things are said to them or they are touched, etc, not for just looking (unless it's peeping - this lists several peeping laws Peeping Tom Law & Legal Definition)

Do we have any lawyers on the site who might know about this more?

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Do we have any lawyers on the site who might know about this more?

Dopp would know.

Last year there was a man who got an indecent exposure citation for making his coffee in the nude -- in his own home. Turns out that his house is on a popular route that kids take to school, and a mother called the cops.

Making coffee in his own home. Inside.

It's got to work both ways.

All I'm saying is that some city codes might protect women from the unwanted leering of men, because it would definately fit with common practices concerning similar things.

 

[pwfaith]

All I'm saying is that some city codes might protect women from the unwanted leering of men, because it would definitely fit with common practices concerning similar things.

They might, but I still think we'd have heard about it on the news it they had ever been enforced lol I think being nude in your own home with curtains closed would be slightly different than nude in your own home standing at the window drinking your coffee - where it was very easy for people to see you, not where you were attempting to keep your nudity to yourself, kwim?

Where's the line with watching people? Does their attire really matter? What if I'm just sitting on my porch having my morning coffee and I watch my fully clothed neighbor cut his grass? Sorry I just have a hard time wrapping my brain around it being illegal to watch someone else in "public view".

 

[work in progress]

Nope, what others wear is their business but I do think young women should be taught self-respect and that they don't need to flaunt their body to get attention. I wasn't allowed to wear 2-piece swimsuits either but I saved my money and bought my own and wore it on Spring break to the beach with my best friend. Parents never knew. I think back as to why I did that. I wanted a certain type of attention. I want to teach my girls that they don't need to show a lot of skin and having respect from young men is better than sexual attention that certain attires will promote.

There are a lot of tough issues for any parents of girls these days! I have to admit to being conflicted on this issue of how to dress, because I don't think it's a good idea to want your children to be too separate from what other kids are doing. I notice that you did what a lot of kids do when they think their parent's rules are too strict: they just sneak out and break them.

But, I know a lot of what kids want and think they need these days is because of the endless onslaught of pop culture marketing. Trying to teach a teenage girl how to be herself and not be totally dependent on other teens for approval has got to be like trying to paddle a canoe upstream!

ROFL who said anything about pagan orgies? Don't read more into the post than there is

Well, I mentioned in a different post that our mothers were horrified by bikinis, miniskirts and the trend towards less clothing and more skin back in the 60's. My mother thought that everyone would be naked at the beach and on TV within 10 years! It never happened because we seemed to reach a limit on what's socially acceptable.

 

[linwood]

I live on Jesus Street literally smothered in practicing Christians.

I have received numerous requests and had many altercations as described in the column.
About my kids actions.
About my kids souls.
About my kids dress.
Even once had a neighbor vividly describe the blistered skin peeling from my 5 year old daughters body as she burns in hell because of my failure to lead my family to Christ.

I never hesitate to tell the complainant exactly how I feel about their idiotic request.

Not many of my neighbors even talk to me now.
I like it much better this way.

 

[pwfaith]

There are a lot of tough issues for any parents of girls these days! I have to admit to being conflicted on this issue of how to dress, because I don't think it's a good idea to want your children to be too separate from what other kids are doing. I notice that you did what a lot of kids do when they think their parent's rules are too strict: they just sneak out and break them.

I did, but in hindsight, compared to other parents I think my parents were pretty ok Of course now as a parent I understand their reasoning more than I did as a teen. I wish we had talked about the "why's" behind their rules more than them just stating them and I wish I'd had more self-respect and hadn't felt the need to dress a certain way for attention. That wasn't my parents fault, but something I had to learn on my own, as I matured.

But, I know a lot of what kids want and think they need these days is because of the endless onslaught of pop culture marketing. Trying to teach a teenage girl how to be herself and not be totally dependent on other teens for approval has got to be like trying to paddle a canoe upstream!

Totally! It's kinda funny looking at my 2 older girls, one notices more what others wear but is still pretty conservative on her own and the other is more of a free-spirit She will wear stripes with polka dots, shorts with dress boots, etc and flat out say "I don't care what others think". Yet the one who notices more what others wear, personality wise is very self-confident, knows who she is and makes no excuse for it, but the one that doesn't care what others think of her attire, is the one who deep down wants people to like her - not for her clothes though but for who she is. (They are 11 & 9.5)

My MIL just retired from teaching and use to tell them "this outfit is what my students and teacher friends told me was "in"" I finally just had to ask her to PLEASE not tell my children what was "in" LOL They are perfectly content making their own styles from what they see on the racks. I don't want to get caught up in that "pop-start is wearing this, gotta have it" mentality. I'm very thankful they attend a school where this kind of thinking really isn't all that popular.

 

[pwfaith]

I live on Jesus Street literally smothered in practicing Christians.

I have received numerous requests and had many altercations as described in the column.
About my kids actions.
About my kids souls.
About my kids dress.
Even once had a neighbor vividly describe the blistered skin peeling from my 5 year old daughters body as she burns in hell because of my failure to lead my family to Christ.

I never hesitate to tell the complainant exactly how I feel about their idiotic request.

Not many of my neighbors even talk to me now.
I like it much better this way.

That's terrible! I'm very sorry for the treatment you have received from Christian neighbors.

 

[Sunstone]

That's terrible! I'm very sorry for the treatment you have received from Christian neighbors.

They are probably Evangelicals. The mainstream Christians are more likely than the Evangelicals to be laid back, in my experience.

 

[pwfaith]

They were probably Evangelicals. The mainstream Christians are more likely than the Evangelicals to take responsibility for their own sexual feelings, in my experience.

I'm an evangelical Christian

More than likely they are fundamentalist. People often confuse evangelical and fundie, or equate the 2, which is not necessarily correct. While many fundies are probably also evangelical, not all evangelicals are fundie