Nice Guy Syndrome and Misandry

[nnmartin]

But yet, women continue to reject you? But how could that be? With you being such a "nice guy" and all who respects women they be glad to be friends or more with you. But that doesn't seem to be the case. So there must be something wrong with them and not you.

It's because women want to be sexually dominated by a tall, dark stranger and his rod of steel.

Well, maybe it is you? Have you ever thought about it? Maybe there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Maybe instead, you are a misogynist. Yup that could be it! Maybe women reject you because you don't look at us as fellow human being but objects.

Women tend to reject me because I am not enough of a neandarthal.

You can't have it both ways you know!

 

[Me Myself]

Well, according to you, women look for men based only in looks and money...

So if your worldview is true, you just need to get more money and pay for some plastic surgery.

IF your worldview is true.

Luck with that.

 

[InformedIgnorance]

Then in your eyes what's the matter with you? Are you a hunchback or something?

A little personal but I suppose I could say.

Why would it need be physical? I am quite fat but given my above average height I carry it well; I am relatively intelligent in my own opinion and according to my tertiary education results and reasonably nice according to others. I am however child like in my capacity to recognise the emotions of others by body languages or tonal queues, or to react to them appropriately - no, even most children are better equipped in this regard (though I am well practised at emulating the appropriate emotional response most of the time). I am fundamentally flawed in this area, obviously essential to the matter at hand.

I therefore have extremely low self efficacy with regard to relationships, however this is well founded.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

I am however child like in my capacity to recognise the emotions of others or to react to them appropriately - no, even most children are better equipped in this regard (though I am well practised at emulating the appropriate emotional response most of the time). I am fundamentally flawed in this area, obviously essential to the matter at hand.

I therefore have extremely low self efficacy with regard to relationships, however this is well founded.

Says who? Also, you seem perfectly normal on here. I would think that someone who genuinly couldn't react appropriately to others would have some bizarre things to say on this message board

 

[nnmartin]

Well, according to you, women look for men based only in looks and money...

So if your worldview is true, you just need to get more money and pay for some plastic surgery.

I find that using hookers tends to be the cheaper option these days!

 

[InformedIgnorance]

Please note my edits since then to clarify the issue ^.^

I have a condition known as Asperger's syndrome, a disorder in the Autism spectrum - which I am lucky in my case affects little else other than my grossly underdeveloped social skills and some non substantive (to the issue) secondary areas of behaviour; most of those with Asperger's syndrome are significantly more impaired than me across a wider range of areas... for me personally it is more concentrated in recognition of emotion within others. ^_^ On forums everything is typed, so issues such as body language and tone are mitigated to the extent that meaning is more readily encapsulated within the text, dotted by the occasional use of emoticons - which are emulated without much difficulty.

 

[Me Myself]

Knock yourself out then

 

[nnmartin]

Women don't want a nice metro guy - they prefer something more rugged and masculine.

Money is a key motivator as well, so sadly, personality trails in a distant third.

Just a fact of life.

Why all this idealistic talk of 'it's the personality that matters' - pure nonsense.

 

[Me Myself]

Today women definetely like metro.

 

[nnmartin]

I have a condition known as Asperger's syndrome, a disorder in the Autism spectrum - which I am lucky in my case affects little else other than my grossly underdeveloped social skills and some non substantive (to the issue) secondary areas of behaviour; most of those with Asperger's syndrome are significantly more impaired than me across a wider range of areas.

Full kudos to you , because you seem to be one of the most intelligent and reasonable posters on the board...

 

[nnmartin]

Today women definetely like metro.

metro with a bit of hunk thrown in perhaps.

Clark Kent type maybe.

 

[Me Myself]

Hunk? I don't know, but they like perfect 6pack, pecs and all with no hair anywhere eccept the armpits, maybe some very clean facial hair.

Look like you are watching little puppies all the time with your estrogen levels about to burst while you are for some reason without your t-shirt.

Least works in the movies

 

[Shermana]

So you call yourself a "Nice Guy"

I liked to call myself that in High School. Now I try to to be a "jerk". Much better success.

.

You are nice to women, you treat them with respect and try to do your best to impress them with your kindness and general niceness

.

Weakness. Total weakness. Being too eager to please = desparation. Women smell desparation and run at its faintest scent.

You believe that you are not like those other guys, you know those guys who aren't "nice", you go out of your way to be the exact opposite!

I tried to be at first, then I realized how utterly stupid and naive that was.

But yet, women continue to reject you? But how could that be?

Women hate weakness and desparation like the plague, that's why. They want masculinity in their man. And that often is in line with being a so-called "jerk".

With you being such a "nice guy" and all who respects women they be glad to be friends or more with you. But that doesn't seem to be the case. So there must be something wrong with them and not you.

Exactly. More often than not, the "nice guy" is compensating for a lack of physical, personality, and skill-traits that are necessary to attract an attractive woman.

So whats wrong with these women? How can they be so disrespectful?

It's not disrespectful, it's just their natural aversion to weakness. Nice guys are not necessarily good mates. Note, nice guy does not necessarily equal "non-cheater", nice guys cheat too.

Well, they must hate men. Yes! That's the ticket! The reason why women continue to reject is because these women hate men. It has nothing to do with the kind of guy you are, now does it?

Of course not. It's all those women's faults who just like to be mean and date strong, rich jerks leaving those nice guys in the dirt. However, many of these women who exclusively date "jerks" that are not "nice" at all often find themselves pumped and dumped too.

Well, maybe it is you? Have you ever thought about it? Maybe there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Maybe instead, you are a misogynist. Yup that could be it! Maybe women reject you because you don't look at us as fellow human being but objects.[

Exactly. The nice guy is still nonetheless regarding the woman as nothing but an object, he's just weaker and not as assertive as the "Jerk" who still objectifies the woman but is at least trying to be appealing to what the woman is seeking after.

 

[nnmartin]

the only difference is that the tough guy gets to play with the object, but the nice guy only gets the wrappings.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Please note my edits since then to clarify the issue ^.^

I have a condition known as Asperger's syndrome, a disorder in the Autism spectrum - which I am lucky in my case affects little else other than my grossly underdeveloped social skills and some non substantive (to the issue) secondary areas of behaviour; most of those with Asperger's syndrome are significantly more impaired than me across a wider range of areas... for me personally it is more concentrated in recognition of emotion within others. ^_^ On forums everything is typed, so issues such as body language and tone are mitigated to the extent that meaning is more readily encapsulated within the text, dotted by the occasional use of emoticons - which are emulated without much difficulty.

My pastor has that syndrome. He's actually very engaging and has a hot wife. I don't know bro. I can't speak to your condition but I do know that labels can act as self fullfilling prophecies. I'm cheering for you bro. Be blessed

 

[Sunstone]

Please note my edits since then to clarify the issue ^.^

I have a condition known as Asperger's syndrome, a disorder in the Autism spectrum - which I am lucky in my case affects little else other than my grossly underdeveloped social skills and some non substantive (to the issue) secondary areas of behaviour; most of those with Asperger's syndrome are significantly more impaired than me across a wider range of areas... for me personally it is more concentrated in recognition of emotion within others. ^_^ On forums everything is typed, so issues such as body language and tone are mitigated to the extent that meaning is more readily encapsulated within the text, dotted by the occasional use of emoticons - which are emulated without much difficulty.

Is it just more difficult for you to recognize emotions in others, or is it simply near to impossible?

 

[nnmartin]

So you call yourself a "Nice Guy". You are nice to women, you treat them with respect and try to do your best to impress them with your kindness and general niceness. You believe that you are not like those other guys, you know those guys who aren't "nice", you go out of your way to be the exact opposite!

not a touch of feminism in this OP is there?:sarcastic

 

[InformedIgnorance]

My pastor has that syndrome. He's actually very engaging and has a hot wife. I don't know bro. I can't speak to your condition but I do know that labels can act as self fullfilling prophecies. I'm cheering for you bro. Be blessed

As I said it effects different people differently (and I believe I am relatively engaging, I speak eloquently at least) I would suggest that perhaps in your pastor's case the degree of impact on his recognition of emotional and social queues is perhaps not as marked as mine (obviously this is an assumption without much evidence other than the fact that he has a wife - how attractive she is being immaterial)

Is it just more difficult for you to recognize emotions in others, or is it simply near to impossible?

Depends on the situation but generally just more difficult although that requires significant previous knowledge of the individual in order to build up knowledge of their emotional queues; so basically, if I know the person well I am better able to pick it; but even with my family members I am not very good at this.

 

[Chisti]

Is it just more difficult for you to recognize emotions in others, or is it simply near to impossible?

I too am an aspie. It is not that we don't recognize emotions. We can't act in that regard, it feels awkward. We just can't read the signs - body language, facial expression. This in turn leads to a lot of misunderstanding, and in the end we're called rude and snobbish.

 

[Me Myself]

I too am an aspie. It is not that we don't recognize emotions. We can't act in that regard, it feels awkward. We just can't read the signs - body language, facial expression. This in turn leads to a lot of misunderstanding, and in the end we're called rude and snobbish.

Can you learn some? I would imagine it won't be the same at all, but could it at least help to learn some in a more objective way?

I mean, while others do so subconsciously, could you google up the body language things and try to remember them and recognize them?