Chisti
Active Member
You don't go to them, what if they come to you and make you miserable.
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Nice Guy Syndrome and Misandry
- Thread starter CynthiaCypher
- Start date
You don't go to them, what if they come to you and make you miserable.
InformedIgnorance
Do you 'know' or believe?
Well actually when it comes to short term relationships (in particular but not limited to this) women like those 'bad boys', in fact the difference in preference for the 'bad boy' over the 'nice guy' is overwhelmingly large in such relationships.
It isn't a matter of the women not being 'decent' there are a myriad number of reasons for the preference (including biological predispositions - which also encourage women to have a nice guy husband and a bad boy father of her children) - but it is most certainly a widespread preference.
Oh really, and I suppose that particular line of demarcation is true in all situations for all women? Of course not. It varies with individual preferences and the situation.
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I think that's painting with a very broad brush, right there.
Songbird
She rules her life like a bird in flight
That makes me feel distinctly unsafe.
It's easy enough to avoid getting involved with them.
We aren't talking about guys who are genuinely nice... rather it's a form of misandry where the guy blames women for not letting them have sex with them because they are "nice guys".
Feminsim 101 Nice Guy Syndrome « I have overflowing opinions and theories.
wa:do
I understand that. I was having certain posts in mind in my post, and should've clarified more what specifically i'm addressing. In the last part, the 'nice guy' i was referring to was the stereotype that is given to all 'nice guys'.
I was addressing two things in my post, the stereotype of men who don't like coming off as 'macho' (that they're not submissive and so forth), and then i was saying in the last part that even men who are indeed submissive (at least in one sense) and often not stand up for themselves, are attractive to some.
I wasn't having what you're talking about in mind at all, i was specifically replying with certain people in mind.
You're a good example of someone I admire for the "nice guy" traits I listed - intelligent, unassuming, guileless, sweet. I do adore you, Badran.
Stop it!! You're embarrassing me!
Uhm.. i mean: Yeah, i know you do. I'd adore me too.
-Peacemaker-
.45 Cal
There's a clear difference between being confident and having the ability to take charge if the situation arises as opposed to being a bully. One is actual courage, the other is cowardice. She's got to know her man has some guts. Otherwise you'll end up with some woman that actually wants to wear the pants in the relationship. Then you'll probably be walked all over the rest of your life
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Road Warrior
Seeking the middle path..
Maybe the single men can stop presuming to know what women want?
How could they know? Not even women know what they want.
No, it doesn't change. Not if you don't conflate "upsetting people" with "demeaning people". It's one thing to hold firm on a position as a matter of principle even if it bothers people. It's another thing to put people down. Bullying is generally seen as a sign of lack of confidence in the bully.
-Peacemaker-
.45 Cal
You're throwing your weight around and being bossy. Should I prevent you from doing this?
... tactfully, of course.
Edit: you can support your partner without treating her like a child, you know.
Edit 2: really, the tactic you're describing isn't support at all. It's just imprisonment.
InformedIgnorance
Do you 'know' or believe?
And yet straight away we had an example where perhaps that line is not so clear.
Ghhhh double negatives... what the.... >.< I hates double negatives they dont make me not want to rip out my hair.
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It seems to me a responsible person is usually unwilling to put the blame for misery in their life onto others. Unless one is, say, literally violating the law or causing serious abuse, then nobody is "making" another person miserable. Some people allow themselves to be made miserable due to not exercising control over their own situations or own emotions.
God forbid a women wears the pants in a relationship, but it's ok if the guy does? If a guy wears the pants, does he walk all over the women he's with?
How about nobody wears the figurative pants, and they just view each other for the equals that they are?
The fundamental problems with your reasoning is two things:
1) You're giving inherent traits to the 'pants' which are nothing more in reality than cultural stereotypes (and i'd prefer to refer to it as cultural garbage).
2) You're giving inherent traits to women as needing of someone who 'has the guts' to do things for them. Someone who can 'take charge'.
Both assumptions are demonstrably false.
That's been my point here.
Heaven forbid that a woman actually has ideas of her own about the direction she wants her life to go.
A truly confident man can be in a relationship with a confident woman without worrying about his autonomy being taken away.
Would a woman also be walked all over the rest of her life if a man was to wear the pants in a relationship?
-Peacemaker-
.45 Cal
Whether or not they "need" such things is debatable but confidence/courage is something most women are attracted to. The worst part is that so many of these ultra-feminists, many of which hate men and/or are lesbians try to make women feel like there's something wrong with them if they desire to be the "damsel in distress"
How courageous can a guy be if he's afraid to treat his partner as an equal?