Paying rent to your parents

[Koldo]

It's because in American culture we have the idea that once you hit 18 you should stand on your own feet and take care of yourself. That's why parents charge rent. Because they really wish their kids would learn to be less dependent for their own sake. Unfortunately rising rent prices/higher payments for buying a new house means that more people are stuck living with their parents than ever. Decades ago people could more easily afford to live on their own. But now we are being forced to embrace a culture more similar to other countries where people live as large family units their whole lives. But we aren't used to that.

The reason is that many environmentalists etc. don't want more infrastructure or houses. They don't want people to exist at all; much less spreading out. They want us all stacked up in the same areas. They look at humans as a virus/cancer that needs to be contained. They want us to die. They want animals to live more freely with open areas to explore while people are cooped up and only the rich elitists get to enjoy the outdoors.

The problem is: You won't suddenly be able to earn a living wage all by yourself at 18. So you should not be expected to stand on just your own two feet at that age.

 

[74x12]

The problem is: You won't suddenly be able to earn a living wage all by yourself at 18. So you should not be expected to stand on just your own two feet at that age.

That's what I said. In the past in America you could. Now you can't.

 

[England my lionheart]

As a brazilian, one thing I find reallllly weird about American culture is the concept of paying rent to your parents once you hit 18 years old. How commonplace is this?

Does anybody else also find this weird?

Of course one should help paying the bills, but literally paying a monthly rent to keep living with your parents is completely alien to brazilian culture.

I did,makes sense really,Learning curve.

 

[SomeRandom]

As a brazilian, one thing I find reallllly weird about American culture is the concept of paying rent to your parents once you hit 18 years old. How commonplace is this?

Does anybody else also find this weird?

Of course one should help paying the bills, but literally paying a monthly rent to keep living with your parents is completely alien to brazilian culture.

Here it’s more or less optional. Culturally speaking it’s generally agreed upon that a person between the ages of 18- 22 is expected to find their own place (usually in a share house with roommates.) Depending on where the economy is, at that point. Parents charging rent is not something I find very often. It probably happens more to teach youngsters how to budget, so when they do leave the nest they are able to pay their rent and budget for groceries (with perhaps the occasional visit to the parents for some laundry or extra food every once in a while.)
But I’m half Indian. Indians still have the culture of living with extended family well into adulthood (moving out at 18 is seen as explicitly Western in the community.) With aunts, uncles, grandparents caring for you and any children you may have with your spouse. Many of my family members live in such a manner to this day.

 

[QuestioningMind]

As a brazilian, one thing I find reallllly weird about American culture is the concept of paying rent to your parents once you hit 18 years old. How commonplace is this?

Does anybody else also find this weird?

Of course one should help paying the bills, but literally paying a monthly rent to keep living with your parents is completely alien to brazilian culture.

How are you distinguishing between parents who collect a set amount each month to cover extra utilities and grocery costs and those who are 'literally paying a monthly rent'?

If by literally paying a monthly rent you mean charging the child the standard rate for renting out a room in the area, I'd say that it's rather rare. But if you mean simply collecting a set amount each month from an adult child who is working in order to help cover basic household costs, that's far more common.

 

[Koldo]

How are you distinguishing between parents who collect a set amount each month to cover extra utilities and grocery costs and those who are 'literally paying a monthly rent'?

If by literally paying a monthly rent you mean charging the child the standard rate for renting out a room in the area, I'd say that it's rather rare. But if you mean simply collecting a set amount each month from an adult child who is working in order to help cover basic household costs, that's far more common.

By 'collecting', do you mean demanding?

 

[Koldo]

Here it’s more or less optional. Culturally speaking it’s generally agreed upon that a person between the ages of 18- 22 is expected to find their own place (usually in a share house with roommates.) Depending on where the economy is, at that point. Parents charging rent is not something I find very often. It probably happens more to teach youngsters how to budget, so when they do leave the nest they are able to pay their rent and budget for groceries (with perhaps the occasional visit to the parents for some laundry or extra food every once in a while.)
But I’m half Indian. Indians still have the culture of living with extended family well into adulthood (moving out at 18 is seen as explicitly Western in the community.) With aunts, uncles, grandparents caring for you and any children you may have with your spouse. Many of my family members live in such a manner to this day.

Here in Brazil we simply don't share a house with roommates. It is a recipe for disaster.

 

[Koldo]

I did,makes sense really,Learning curve.

Sounds unnecessary.

 

[SomeRandom]

Here in Brazil we simply don't share a house with roommates. It is a recipe for disaster.

Well here it can be. It depends on your roommates. Usually people move in with long time friends instead of just random strangers. So it can be disastrous but it’s normally planned out beforehand, to try and limit such disasters

 

[wandering peacefully]

As a brazilian, one thing I find reallllly weird about American culture is the concept of paying rent to your parents once you hit 18 years old. How commonplace is this?

Does anybody else also find this weird?

Of course one should help paying the bills, but literally paying a monthly rent to keep living with your parents is completely alien to brazilian culture.

Most American beliefs now center around the dollar before extended family. Forever before the concept of capitalism and financial success above all else, culminating in grand individualism, families often lived as extended units where all members live together in cooperation. The young need care, the old need care. Eventually, everyone in the family will be young and then will be old. In between, all live together to provide the means and provide the care that will insure the survival and wellbeing of of the entire family from birth to death.

It has become a forgotten and foreign way of life for the current capitalist centered American society.

To answer your question, I never charge rent for my children who move in and out of my home when they need the help. Eventually, I will most likely need help. I can only hope my kids will help me as I have helped them when they needed it.

 

[QuestioningMind]

By 'collecting', do you mean demanding?

I suppose it all comes down to the integrity of the individual who agreed to help pay for the extra costs of them living there. When my son graduated from college and needed a place to stay until he could get a job in his chosen vocation I never once had to demand that he pay the extra costs of him staying with me. When I was younger and had some financial difficulties and was forced to move back in with my parents for a while they never once had to demand that I step up and help pay for the additional costs of me staying with them. That's because I don't hold the opinion that they should be responsible for all of my needs for al long as they live. I understood that they had a right to save up to retire some day, instead of providing their resources to pay for needs that I'm capable of paying for myself.

In your country are parents expected to never retire and keep working to support any child they have that doesn't want to move out and refuses to help pay for household expenses?

 

[SalixIncendium]

As a brazilian, one thing I find reallllly weird about American culture is the concept of paying rent to your parents once you hit 18 years old. How commonplace is this?

Does anybody else also find this weird?

Of course one should help paying the bills, but literally paying a monthly rent to keep living with your parents is completely alien to brazilian culture.

My daughter pays me rent. Of course, I gave her my house, which her, her fiancee, and her daughter now live in. She will continue to pay me the amount of the house payment until she gets her own loan for the mortgage balance (which is about 1/4 to 1/3 the house's value).

 

[oldbadger]

Why the smile at the end?

Ah........ Sorry..... maybe it should have been a

 

[Koldo]

My daughter pays me rent. Of course, I gave her my house, which her, her fiancee, and her daughter now live in. She will continue to pay me the amount of the house payment until she gets her own loan for the mortgage balance (which is about 1/4 to 1/3 the house's value).

That's a quite distinct situation!
Not at all what I had in mind when I created the topic.

 

[Koldo]

I suppose it all comes down to the integrity of the individual who agreed to help pay for the extra costs of them living there. When my son graduated from college and needed a place to stay until he could get a job in his chosen vocation I never once had to demand that he pay the extra costs of him staying with me. When I was younger and had some financial difficulties and was forced to move back in with my parents for a while they never once had to demand that I step up and help pay for the additional costs of me staying with them. That's because I don't hold the opinion that they should be responsible for all of my needs for al long as they live. I understood that they had a right to save up to retire some day, instead of providing their resources to pay for needs that I'm capable of paying for myself.

In your country are parents expected to never retire and keep working to support any child they have that doesn't want to move out and refuses to help pay for household expenses?

Nope. Adults are expected to help by either paying bills or taking care of the house. Adult children may offer a certain ammount of money per month, but parents are not supposed to demand for money per se.

"Listen, now that you can work you must help supporting this household. How about paying the eletricity bill?"

This is the sort of thing you would expect to hear from a parent.

EDIT: By the way, in Brazil, only rich people retire by accumulating wealth.

 

[Mock Turtle]

My two older brothers were apparently most peeved when my mother didn't demand rent from me - I hadn't even considered this and neither knew about any such contribution from them - but she didn't, and I suspect this was because I was the favourite son.

I was still the first to leave home though - due to job requirements.

So she didn't miss that much income.

 

[SA Huguenot]

As a brazilian, one thing I find reallllly weird about American culture is the concept of paying rent to your parents once you hit 18 years old. How commonplace is this?

Does anybody else also find this weird?

Of course one should help paying the bills, but literally paying a monthly rent to keep living with your parents is completely alien to brazilian culture.

No, I refused to take money from my 3 children whilst they lived with me.
I made sure they finished school, had an education, or qualification, was employed, and then they left by themself, and afterwards got married.
All 3 left at age 25.

This is the age old recipy to ensure your children never fall into poverty.
1. Finish school,
2. get employed, or self employed
3. then get married,
4. then have children.
This is the only way your children will succeed in life.
Breaking any of the above steps will force them in poverty, and will force you to support them for the rest of your life!

Therefore, I never asked them any rent, for I was used to the expence anyhow, and they could get money saved for a car, and furniture etc.

My last one, my daughter gets married this week Friday, and this will be the first time she leaves my house.
She is a qualified teacher, ows nothing on her 2019 Honda civic, no study loans, no debt on furniture etc.
I made sure that she will never have to rely on her husband, have her own income, or to have him as her sole support.
My 2 sons also left home at around 25 Years, and they also followed the golden rule above.

Now I visit them over weekends, and they pamper me and their mother.

I want to die knowing I gave my money to my kids whilst I was alive, knowing they will never fight for money amongst each other, when the estate is divided after my death.

 

[QuestioningMind]

Nope. Adults are expected to help by either paying bills or taking care of the house. Adult children may offer a certain ammount of money per month, but parents are not supposed to demand for money per se.

"Listen, now that you can work you must help supporting this household. How about paying the eletricity bill?"

This is the sort of thing you would expect to hear from a parent.

EDIT: By the way, in Brazil, only rich people retire by accumulating wealth.

Sounds like the exact same situation then. A parent saying you MUST pay the electric bill is demanding payment of the electric bill. But of course if you're a decent child your parent will never have to make that demand, since you'll pay it willingly.

 

[Koldo]

Sounds like the exact same situation then. A parent saying you MUST pay the electric bill is demanding payment of the electric bill. But of course if you're a decent child your parent will never have to make that demand, since you'll pay it willingly.

Not exactly the same...
If you pay rent, you are paying to use somebody else's property.
If you pay the eletricity bill though, you are merely contributing towards the household.

 

[QuestioningMind]

Not exactly the same...
If you pay rent, you are paying to use somebody else's property.
If you pay the eletricity bill though, you are merely contributing towards the household.

Like I said in my original post, parents who collect rent to use someone's property are pretty rare. Far more common are parents who collect a contribution towards the monthly household expenses. So it does sound like it's basically the same in both countries.