Ped0philia

[Songbird]

Actually, there is a distinct differenece between the most common offender - a hetersexual male who is everything you're describing- and a person primarily oriented towards children. There are people that are attracted to children who want nothing to do with harming a child and would never act on those desires because they recognize how abhorrent it is. I would say that their orientation is actually a mental disorder as there is no way to act on it without harming a child.

But yes, sum is missing the facts of the situation here.
I wish i had my source material from when i was working in the field. We did treatment forjuvenile sex offenders, victims of child sexual abuse and psychoeducational classes for family members about what abuse is, etc. I'm not an expert in the field by any means, but I've had quite a bit of training here.

I know there's a difference, but for a few reasons I specifically left out the person who would never act on it. The biggest reason is the person who cares more about the child than his or her own pleasure didn't seem to be the topic in this thread...

Though for clarity I should have reworded the last sentence of my post.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Did I say I hated them? No. I wouldn't leave a book of matches or a lighter near a pyromaniac. I wouldn't leave a valuables around a kleptomaniac. That isn't hate, that is precaution. Children are vulnerable and my kids are special needs, which made them extra vulnerable. Edit: My sons are 16 and 19, so I don't worry as much. I do worry about the 19 year old, since he has the finesse at times of a much younger child.

But you talk of pedophiles as if they will, you have no trust in them because of their sexuality.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I can't speak about pedophiles who never had sex with a child, but I have little (or no) tolerance for any person who harms a child- especially rape or molestation. I get an irrational anger when I think about it. I get the same feeling about women being raped, people being tortured, and abuse. I like to think myself as tolerant, but my tolerance doesn't extend to those who harm others for pleasure. It makes me sick.

But not all do rape children, some have self control.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

There are people that are attracted to children who want nothing to do with harming a child and would never act on those desires because they recognize how abhorrent it is. I would say that their orientation is actually a mental disorder as there is no way to act on it without harming a child.

That's what I've been saying.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I know there's a difference, but for a few reasons I specifically left out the person who would never act on it. The biggest reason is the person who cares more about the child than his or her own pleasure didn't seem to be the topic in this thread...

Though for clarity I should have reworded the last sentence of my post.

Actually it is part of the topic in the thread.

I'm questioning why people have no tolerance for ALL pedophiles, it's like being afraid of all straights because there have been a lot of heterosexual rapes, which we are not afraid of heterosexuals.

 

[ChristineES]

But you talk of pedophiles as if they will, you have no trust in them because of their sexuality.

If I have a prejudice against some adult who is attracted to children, then so be it. I don't know how you can compare a pedophile to someone who is gay. Someone being gay actually makes sense, because of biology. Having an sexual attraction to children, to me, it totally different. How can being attracted to some little child be explained by biology? If it can, I haven't heard it yet.
But believe what you will. I can't as of yet. As I said, though, I don't hate them, but they don't belong alone around small children. If I am wrong, then that is my problem and not yours.

 

[Songbird]

Actually it is part of the topic in the thread.

I'm questioning why people have no tolerance for ALL pedophiles, it's like being afraid of all straights because there have been a lot of heterosexual rapes, which we are not afraid of heterosexuals.

Sorry, I kind of misread. I'll re-tune. People have little tolerance for pedophiles because the acts themselves are harmful and wrong. Desiring other adults isn't. Desiring someone who is capable of consent is acceptable.

Like others have said, it's comparable to knowing that a person has a compulsion to start fires or steal things. Regardless of your respect for the person, you'd take care to protect yourself.

And people who have compulsions that are harmful to others generally keep that info to themselves, aware that it's not good PR to spread.

 

[riley2112]

If I have a prejudice against some adult who is attracted to children, then so be it. I don't know how you can compare a pedophile to someone who is gay. Someone being gay actually makes sense, because of biology. Having an sexual attraction to children, to me, it totally different. How can being attracted to some little child be explained by biology? If it can, I haven't heard it yet.
But believe what you will. I can't as of yet. As I said, though, I don't hate them, but they don't belong alone around small children. If I am wrong, then that is my problem and not yours.

you are not wrong. Have you ever wondered where the saying came from of , you do not put a match in charge of a dynamite shack

 

[Enlighten]

Did you miss the parts where he clarified that he's talking about people who do not act on these desires?

In other words, people who willingly forbid themselves from fulfilling their unfortunate desire because they know it hurts other people?

Again in different clearer words, he's saying why shun people who do not harm others and control their desire only because they have that desire?

No I didn't miss that part, but on reflection, you are right, there is a clear difference between those who act and those who don't act upon their desire.
From a personal standpoint, if I knew someone did have those desires and even if I knew they were controlling them, I would still have reservations to leaving them alone with my child. The worry that they would "give in" to those desires would be on my mind.Why shun? I guess, it's what I said above, there will be a fear that they would give in to their desires.

 

[Enlighten]

Why target ALL pedophiles when some of them are innocent and hadn't raped before? If some of them are nice enough to not rape?

As I have just replied in another post, I guess it comes down to the fear that they will give in to their desire and rape a child.

 

[Drolefille]

Actually it is part of the topic in the thread.

I'm questioning why people have no tolerance for ALL pedophiles, it's like being afraid of all straights because there have been a lot of heterosexual rapes, which we are not afraid of heterosexuals.

No. Because a pedophile who does not rape a child is being celibate. A heterosexual man who is not raping a woman is still (capable of) having consensual sex. For anyone not asexual celibacy is not a natural state and i'm not terribly trusting of most people's willpower in that matter if they are not asexual.

 

[Songbird]

Why target ALL pedophiles when some of them are innocent and hadn't raped before? If some of them are nice enough to not rape?

I missed what "targeting" pedophiles is...I'm pretty distracted today. What is targeting and shunning? I mean your OP made me assume people are being shunned, but are they? And what does that look like? And is it warranted?

 

[ChristineES]

I missed what "targeting" pedophiles is...I'm pretty distracted today. What is targeting and shunning? I mean your OP made me assume people are being shunned, but are they? And what does that look like? And is it warranted?

I think keeping children away from pedophiles is different than shunning them.

 

[Badran]

I missed what "targeting" pedophiles is...I'm pretty distracted today. What is targeting and shunning? I mean your OP made me assume people are being shunned, but are they? And what does that look like? And is it warranted?

I think he's referring to the collective judgment, or attitude towards pedophiles as if they're all already child molesters, or something like that

In which case, i would agree with him. But also would agree with what was said earlier, that the way society handles this issue, and looks at the people involved, is no different than other similar situations.

I understand being careful around them with your children, and think its wise to do so, but disagree with looking at them as disgusting people.

 

[Kerr]

I can't speak about pedophiles who never had sex with a child, but I have little (or no) tolerance for any person who harms a child- especially rape or molestation. I get an irrational anger when I think about it. I get the same feeling about women being raped, people being tortured, and abuse. I like to think myself as tolerant, but my tolerance doesn't extend to those who harm others for pleasure. It makes me sick.

You are not alone. Tolerance ends when abuse, force and violence enter the picture. Especially if the victim is a child.

 

[Reverend Rick]

No one is going to get banned here as long as they stick to the topic and not attack one another continually.

I think we all are human and many times we have good reason for extreme bias. As a father, I can tell you I would not hesitate to kill a person who harmed my child.

At the same time, I see the logic behind not trusting a person with these tendancies even though they have not acted on them.

When it comes to our children, we are not going to take that chance.

Now on the other hand, a person cannot help what they are attracted to. I'm sure if they had a choice, they would not deside to desire something they can never have without causing great harm to everyone involved.

We should feel sorry for these folks, but I really don't want them anywhere near children.

Actually, if I had a fetish of this kind, I would distance myself from children just to remove all suspicion as well as not to tempt me. No one is perfect, and one day we might not be able to control our obsession

 

[The Sum of Awe]

As I have just replied in another post, I guess it comes down to the fear that they will give in to their desire and rape a child.

No. Because a pedophile who does not rape a child is being celibate. A heterosexual man who is not raping a woman is still (capable of) having consensual sex. For anyone not asexual celibacy is not a natural state and i'm not terribly trusting of most people's willpower in that matter if they are not asexual.

You raise a good point, both of you, but can we really trust anyone? Anyone could rape you.

 

[Mathematician]

The first step would be to expand public awareness about how pedophilia is indeed a disease and not just a choice someone makes. From there we can put more money into researching its cure or remedies.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

The first step would be to expand public awareness about how pedophilia is indeed a disease and not just a choice someone makes. From there we can put more money into researching its cure or remedies.

Proof it is a disease and can be cured?

 

[Drolefille]

You raise a good point, both of you, but can we really trust anyone? Anyone could rape you.

Hi, welcome to being a woman.

Parents make the decision about who to trust for their kids' sake. I'm not going to fault a parent who deosn't trust a pedophile to babysit.

I make the decision about who to trust for my sake.

And again you're ignoring that most heterosexual men are not rapists by desire, but all pedophiles are.