Polyamory or Monogamy?

[Nymphs]

playing victim now instead of providing evidence?

opps my bad,
personal experience is evidence, we all must except, unlike everyone elses personal experiences that means nothing.

I never said that. Your lack of respect for myself and this thread is obvious. Unless you have something of value to add (about polyamory versus monogamy), I will be ignore your personal attacks.

 

[Nymphs]

You are being naive.

That isn't naïveté, it's the truth.

 

[CynthiaCypher]

monogamous people cant communicate?

Not like the polyamorous...they have superpowers. They are flawless.

 

[HexBomb]

You are being naive.

No, I've seen a polyamarous relationship last longer than some of my friends' marriages, because the people involved know how to communicate with each other, rather than turning around and ragging on their SO to their friends or parents about fights, or refusing to say what annoying habits are annoying. They talk about it, they figure out solutions, and then they get past it.

Any relationship where communication is put first, partners are equal, and emotions are talked out is going to work better, regardless of orientation or the people involved, monogamous or polyamarous.

None of this is to say monogomy is bad, or can't happen. My mother's been dead eighteen years, nineteen this year, and my father regularly gets pressured to 'date' and 'move on' and I get people asking me why he doesn't take off his wedding ring, or people who accuse me of telling him not to date someone else. My dad is monogamous. He loved my mother, and he said vows. To him, dating someone else would be being unfaithful to her.

 

[Nymphs]

It's not magic, it's just open communication. It only looks like magic to those who don't know the trick of it.

:yes:

That reminds me of an experience I had early this year. I had met a girl, we started dating, and she was also dating my husband. She broke it off with me, and continued to date my husband. This was all well and good and I honestly couldn't be happier for them. She is now my best friend and he is my husband. It works perfectly for us.

Anywho. I told a person that I thought was a dear friend and she kept telling me that I didn't have to be okay with it (meaning polyamory, their relationship). She didn't understand that wasn't the problem. My girlfriend, who I loved dearly had just broken up with me -- I was heartbroken.

Every relationship take communication, monogamous and polyamorous, but in my experience (being on both sides) polyamorous relationships just communicate more.

 

[Alceste]

monogamous people cant communicate?

Sure, but they often don't, because they tend to rely quite heavily on cultural norms and unspoken expectations to establish their boundaries for them.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Well according to the poll, it's tied between monogamy and polyamory as being more natural.

As far as I'm concerned, that should settle it for now. Let's all just go have a drink and celebrate. :yes:

 

[kashmir]

I never said that. Your lack of respect for myself and this thread is obvious. Unless you have something of value to add (about polyamory versus monogamy), I will be ignore your personal attacks.

no, I am using logic and reasoning.

you wish to ignore that and continue to play victim.

look back, I never attacked anyone, other than to explain what science says.
I am being attacked from emotional pleas.
or something like that.
:yes:

I have science on my side

 

[Nymphs]

No, I've seen a polyamarous relationship last longer than some of my friends' marriages, because the people involved know how to communicate with each other, rather than turning around and ragging on their SO to their friends or parents about fights, or refusing to say what annoying habits are annoying. They talk about it, they figure out solutions, and then they get past it.

:yes::yes:

Any relationship where communication is put first, partners are equal, and emotions are talked out is going to work better, regardless of orientation or the people involved, monogamous or polyamarous.

Absolutely. My feelings exactly.

 

[Nymphs]

Sure, but they often don't, because they tend to rely quite heavily on cultural norms and unspoken expectations to establish their boundaries for them.

My experience exactly.

Especially how I was raised.

Now it is all different. :yes:

 

[CynthiaCypher]

No, I've seen a polyamarous relationship last longer than some of my friends' marriages, because the people involved know how to communicate with each other, rather than turning around and ragging on their SO to their friends or parents about fights, or refusing to say what annoying habits are annoying. They talk about it, they figure out solutions, and then they get past it.

Any relationship where communication is put first, partners are equal, and emotions are talked out is going to work better, regardless of orientation or the people involved, monogamous or polyamarous.

None of this is to say monogomy is bad, or can't happen. My mother's been dead eighteen years, nineteen this year, and my father regularly gets pressured to 'date' and 'move on' and I get people asking me why he doesn't take off his wedding ring, or people who accuse me of telling him not to date someone else. My dad is monogamous. He loved my mother, and he said vows. To him, dating someone else would be being unfaithful to her.

Personal anecdotes are not evidence.

 

[Nymphs]

monogamous people cant communicate?

trusting 15 ppl for say is more valid then just trusting one person? :sarcastic

If you are interested in learning more about the different types of polyamory, this is a great place to start: Polyamory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There are several different kinds.

 

[Nymphs]

Well according to the poll, it's tied between monogamy and polyamory as being more natural.

As far as I'm concerned, that should settle it for now. Let's all just go have a drink and celebrate. :yes:

Absolutely.

Random sidenote, a guy in one of my classes has been flirting with me. I'm quite happy about that. He is super sweet.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

No, I've seen a polyamarous relationship last longer than some of my friends' marriages, because the people involved know how to communicate with each other, rather than turning around and ragging on their SO to their friends or parents about fights, or refusing to say what annoying habits are annoying. They talk about it, they figure out solutions, and then they get past it.

Any relationship where communication is put first, partners are equal, and emotions are talked out is going to work better, regardless of orientation or the people involved, monogamous or polyamarous.

None of this is to say monogomy is bad, or can't happen. My mother's been dead eighteen years, nineteen this year, and my father regularly gets pressured to 'date' and 'move on' and I get people asking me why he doesn't take off his wedding ring, or people who accuse me of telling him not to date someone else. My dad is monogamous. He loved my mother, and he said vows. To him, dating someone else would be being unfaithful to her.

Great post. :clap

Communication breakdowns do happen, even in the most perfect relationships. People - as has been said before - are not perfect, and can be prone to misunderstandings based on our emotional reactions to how our own personal filters morph and shape what is presented to us.

Monogamy and polyamory are both very much alike in that what determines the success of the relationship(s) is the health of the communication skills that all parties demonstrate. Where they are different is that polyamory requires a consistent shift in scheduling time together.

 

[kashmir]

If you are interested in learning more about the different types of polyamory, this is a great place to start: Polyamory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

There are several different kinds.

You are mistaken, trusting one person to not cheat is more logical than trusting 15 people to not cheat, specially when 15 people like to have all kinds of partners.
15 partners will never fill the desires of new adventures that extra partners demands.

you logic is flawed, because man is flawed to begin with and is far from perfection.
as CC said, Polyamory is not superpowers

adding more coals to the fire does not put the fire out, it only makes the fire hotter

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Personal anecdotes are not evidence.

Oh, and I bet you have a wealth of scientific studies to back your opinion, right?

 

[Alceste]

My experience exactly.

Especially how I was raised.

Now it is all different. :yes:

Yeah, the poly people I've met have often impressed me with their integrity and communication skills. I waffle a little on the subject myself, and go through phases, but my husband and I regularly talk about our boundaries as we grow and change together, and as our relationship evolves.

As it sits, it's quite nice to know he has no desire to restrict me from anything I might enjoy in life, even if that's a bit of romance with someone else. I admire that, and most of my reservations about returning the favor are rooted in my own insecurity, which I'm working on.

 

[HexBomb]

You are mistaken, trusting one person to not cheat is more logical than trusting 15 people to not cheat, specially when 15 people like to have all kinds of partners.
15 partners will never fill the desires of new adventures that extra partners demands.

you logic is flawed

Your logic is flawed. You're assuming that people are polyamarous because they like to have 'new adventures' or that every poly person wants more partners. Some people are just in love with two or three or more people. The entire point of polyfidelity and often plural marriage is that no one in the group wants anyone else, nor do they need it.

 

[StarryNightshade]

Which one is more natural? And why?

I don't think either is more inherently natural than the other.

Whatever works for the individuals involved is what makes either option "natural".

 

[CynthiaCypher]

Oh, and I bet you have a wealth of scientific studies to back your opinion, right?

Yes there are a wealth of medical studies out there that tell us that having multiple partners increases risk of STD's. And not just having concurrent or simultaneous multiple partners but having multiple partners period increases risk.