What I found odd when I first started reading what Christians post on forums is why there was so much disagreement among Christians given they are all reading from the same Bible.
Then I realized that not only is the Bible unclear, Christians interpret the verses very differently, and that is why they come to different conclusions about what happens when we die.
The way Christians feel comfort and security is by insisting that their position is correct and the others are incorrect.
I believe that you are correct in your assessment of the Bible and that Christians interpret it very differently. One of the reasons I reject what the Bible teaches on the afterlife is because I've had far too many personal experiences in my lifetime that clearly contradict what it says about death and the afterlife, and I could no longer conscientiously ignore these contradictions and continue to believe the Bible is true. I gradually began to recognize these discrepancies when I was still a Christian, but I kept my doubts about the Bible buried until I could no longer ignore them in good conscience. Admittedly, I ignored the horrific things written in the Bible when I read it from cover to cover when I was a Christian. My learned belief in a loving, merciful God (a heavenly father) brazenly contradicted what I read in the Bible about God and what I experienced in my own life while growing up. However, it took me a long time to fully accept that the Bible is not inerrant and infallible, as I had been taught to believe. To be honest, it was extremely difficult for me to ever question God, the Bible, or what I believed as a Christian because I was raised in the church and fully indoctrinated to believe in God no matter what.
I was taught to believe that the Bible is the Word of God and that I should never question its authority and accuracy. I was also taught to never question God in any way, and I was shamed by other Christians when I did. So, I quickly learned to keep my doubts and questions to myself while I was growing up. Unfortunately, this mentality stuck with me for the majority of my adult life, and I was a Christian for 30 years. I always felt shame and guilt whenever I questioned God, so I pushed my doubts to the back of my mind and tried to ignore them. But I lived with the nagging feeling that I was ignoring my doubts, and that made me feel sad and confused. Long story short, a little over a year and a half ago, I finally got to a breaking point where I decided that I wasn't going to ignore my doubts anymore. I decided I was going to face them, come what may, and I did. I finally found the courage to examine and re-examine everything that I believed about God, the Bible, and everything else I believed as a Christian. As I said, it was very difficult for me, but I had my beloved, loving husband to help me get through it. I consider myself to be a prime example of how thoroughly a religion can brainwash and ensnare a person. My belief and faith in God were deeply entrenched in my psyche, and it was almost impossible for me to leave them behind. Being a Christian was very detrimental to my emotional, mental, and physical health, and letting go of my faith was the best personal decision that I've ever made for myself.
Personally speaking as a survivor of childhood abuse, I don't need or want the Christian God in my life. I turned my life around for the better and I began to heal emotionally only after I renounced my belief in God and my Christian faith. And now, there is no more fear, guilt, and shame hanging over my head since I disavowed my Christian faith and belief in God. It was such a relief for me, and it still is. I remember what my poor life was like when I was a Christian and the years before that, so there is no question in my mind that freeing myself from all the Christian indoctrination I had been subjected to in my life was the best decision that I've ever made for my mental health. For me, abandoning my Christian faith was a matter of survival since I found being a Christian to be a very painful experience that seriously harmed my mental health, which in turn badly affected my physical health. I don't regret my decision to abandon my Christian faith, but I wish I had done so years ago instead of holding onto the false hope and trust that I had in the Christian God.
In some of my posts, I've talked about what the fearmongering tactics of Christianity were like for me and the emotionally devastating impact they had on my life. I remember fearing the wrath of God to the point of making myself physically sick. I lived in constant fear of God striking me dead at any moment. I was afraid of God's wrath; I was afraid of disobeying God; and I felt deep shame and guilt for sinning against God. I was constantly afraid of losing my salvation if I sinned against God and then died without repenting, and I truly feared going to hell even though I had accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior (Matt.:21–23). I can attest to the fact that there was absolutely no peace and joy in my life that was promised in the Bible to the followers of Jesus.
To be honest, being a Christian was an absolute nightmare for me, and I never want to be a Christian again. It took me a very long time to finally break free from Christianity and deprogram myself from all the indoctrination that I had been subjected to while I was a Christian. It was very difficult for me to detox from it all. I believe that what "saved" me was when I honestly accepted that what I had been taught about the Bible was bogus, which eventually led me to renounce my Christian faith and belief in God, freeing myself from the snare of Christianity. I liken my experience of leaving Christianity to that of being imprisoned, except that the door to my cell was always open and I was unaware that I could leave whenever I wanted to. Personally, I feel as if Christianity was a dark prison and I was trapped within it, but now that I've freed myself from it, I never want to go back. I'm much better off without it.
