That's all right. :hug:
Notice I didn't have to slap you for it.
Just teasing, hon.
Peace,
Mystic
Notice I didn't have to slap you for it.
Just teasing, hon.
Peace,
Mystic
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Should Spanking Your Children Be Illegal?
- Thread starter Mister_T
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Don Penguinoini
Modi.
Even if you were teasing, you pointed out something very bad which i did, thank for that, luv.
I used to get spanking at school with a very large paddle. My father used a belt on me for marking the walls when I was young. I never marked a wall again my entire life. I used to have to go to a weeping willow tree and pick a branch for my mother to spank me with. She used to switch the back of my legs when I was young.
I can count the times I spanked both my children on one hand with fingers left over. I have always found much better forms of punishment. I like the fact that a spanking was a real possibility for my children and the threat was better than the act it's self in controlling them.
I remember hearing things like, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it".
I did spank my son one time and he threatened to call the police on me when he was 7 years old. I handed him the phone and said, make the call. I asked him how long he thought it would take for them to get to the house?
Here is the deal. It is the parent's responsibility to raise a child, not the state. The state has no more right to tell you to spank your child as they do not to.
A parent should not have to repeat any punishment over and over. If you do, the punishment is obviously not the correct one.
I can count the times I spanked both my children on one hand with fingers left over. I have always found much better forms of punishment. I like the fact that a spanking was a real possibility for my children and the threat was better than the act it's self in controlling them.
I remember hearing things like, "I brought you into this world and I can take you out of it".
I did spank my son one time and he threatened to call the police on me when he was 7 years old. I handed him the phone and said, make the call. I asked him how long he thought it would take for them to get to the house?
Here is the deal. It is the parent's responsibility to raise a child, not the state. The state has no more right to tell you to spank your child as they do not to.
A parent should not have to repeat any punishment over and over. If you do, the punishment is obviously not the correct one.
madhatter85
Transhumanist
Awesome, Awesome, awesome post. I too remember hearing things liek that from my mom. Punishment is needed in this society. children run wild with no discipline, they think they can do anythign and get away with it. and parent becone passive and complacent and give thier children everythign they want. it spoils them.
Gentoo
The Feisty Penguin
Oye, and here I thought my home state was doing good..
My parents didn't spank me, and coming from a divorced/"broken" household Mom and Dad had different ways to discipline. All of which I would definitely use if/when I have children. My mom slapped me on the hand when I needed it, and yes, I needed it. My dad had a different approach, he yelled. BUT! he would only do that as a last resort, that way, as he later told me, if I did something to get Dad to yell, I knew it was worthy of him raising his voice. That happened only once.
Spanking, like most things, has a time and a place. I don't think that it should be handed out like currency, but only as a last resort when clearly nothing else works. That said, I also agree with Mystic, saying that with the example of the child running out into the road, a quick swat to get their attention and establish a connection that road = bad, is entirely warranted.
My parents didn't spank me, and coming from a divorced/"broken" household Mom and Dad had different ways to discipline. All of which I would definitely use if/when I have children. My mom slapped me on the hand when I needed it, and yes, I needed it. My dad had a different approach, he yelled. BUT! he would only do that as a last resort, that way, as he later told me, if I did something to get Dad to yell, I knew it was worthy of him raising his voice. That happened only once.
Spanking, like most things, has a time and a place. I don't think that it should be handed out like currency, but only as a last resort when clearly nothing else works. That said, I also agree with Mystic, saying that with the example of the child running out into the road, a quick swat to get their attention and establish a connection that road = bad, is entirely warranted.
Go to a resturant and look at a family where the children sit up straight and eat their meal and another family that lets their children run around like animals. Guess which ones have ever spanked their children and who has not? "Do we need to go out to the car?".
fullyveiled muslimah
Evil incarnate!
rev rick said:
I don't know why but that made me laugh so much. My mom used to just give us "the look". Stopped us in our tracks and froze the blood in our veins many a day. See, because she spanked us, we knew she would do it. So she didn't even really have to do it all that often, because she established that "the look" directly preceeded the whoopin if we continued whatever we were doing.
See we couldn't act a fool in public and stuff. Another one of her famous sayings was "if want to embarass me outside, then I'll embarass you, and you don't want that". And we didn't want any part of it, we knew what she meant. We weren't afraid of her, but we knew when she said something she meant it. By the time we got around 11 or so we didn't need whoopings anymore because then she would talk to us more in depth about why her rules were what they were. Plus we had more intimate knowledge of what warranted a spanking anyway, so we simply made sure she never found out about stuff
. She also had balance with us. She was meant what she said, but she also had fun with us too. It wasn't all doom and gloom and everything wasn't spank worthy.If you don't have to spank your kids, I say you're a lucky parent with mannerable children. If you have children made of bricks, that nothing gets through to them like a good ol' spankin fine. I say as long as you can establish your authority as a parent, and still maintain a good relationship with your kids, no one has the right to judge you a bad parent. Spanking children does not make you bad, and not spanking don't make you good either as the wise and wonderful mystic said before me.
methylatedghosts
Can't brain. Has dumb.
I think actually, that people realise that CHILDREN see it this way. You and I know that it isn't good for a 6 year old to drink beer, but a child doesn't know that! And hitting the child because he drank from daddy's beer isn't going to solve that. (Ok, slightly extreme reason for spanking I know, but you get my point)
That doesn't automatically mean it's a good philosophy to have.
Not contemplating, but it'd definately become very obvious sooner or later.
I agree it's stupid to outlaw/illegalise purely because policing of it is stupid, and it'll get way out of hand.
Victor said:
I should have made it more clear. Spanking =/= violence. But in a child's mind:
Spanking = ok
Spanking = hitting
hitting = ok
and, hitting is violent.
And that's what I'm so against. At the end of the day, spanking is hitting, no two ways about it, and if it's ok for an adult to hit, then the child is only going to see that. Would it not be better to teach a child to control anger and frustration and discipline by talking or punishing some other way that doesn't physically hurt than to show that hitting is a good way to do it?
penguino said:
Only 3 times? Well of course, then you're going to hit them every time! Children ALWAYS try to push the boundaries, and sometimes need 10 times to be told until the learn. But that doesn't make hitting/spanking ok!
Reverend Rick said:
I disagree. Because if this were the case, then you'd only ever need to hit them once for any kind of misdemeanor. Once for stealing. Once for swearing. Once for not listening..... etc etc etc
A patient parent is a good parent.
madhatter85 said:
However, no hitting =/= no discipline.
Reverend Rick said:
And kids running around the table =/= not being spanked.
methylatedghosts
Can't brain. Has dumb.
Ok, I know some of my posts in this thread may be slightly.. heavy handed (lol, mind the pun), but I'm going to say another thing
I know my posts may not display it very well, but I do not judge other people as parents.
You say lucky parents don't have to spank their kids. I say, lucky kids don't get spanked and still know right from wrong and how to behave. I seriously doubt children are dumb or stupid ("made of bricks") enough to learn right from wrong by being disciplined or punished in some other form other than spanking.
I don't think parents are bad if they spank. Some people simply are unaware of how else to deal with misbehaviour, and that isn't their fault and it isn't because they are bad people. Authority can still be established without the use of spanking.
And in the running across the road example, you don't need to give a quick slap. I think an anxious expression, plus matching tone of voice and a firm (not hard so it hurts in anyway, just firm enough so they know you are serious) hold on the arm should be enough to tell the child to be careful because "mummy/daddy are worried about your safety".
There are plenty of resources out there for people to learn discipline without spanking and I would hope that people explore those options as well - AND have the patience to carry them out!
And if you do spank your children, never slap their face. That does worse for self esteem than anything. Children associate the face with "I". And to hit the face is to hit "I", and that is not only the face, but the child's personality, their being and their self. It is Who They Are.
fullyveiled muslimah said:
I know my posts may not display it very well, but I do not judge other people as parents.
You say lucky parents don't have to spank their kids. I say, lucky kids don't get spanked and still know right from wrong and how to behave. I seriously doubt children are dumb or stupid ("made of bricks") enough to learn right from wrong by being disciplined or punished in some other form other than spanking.
I don't think parents are bad if they spank. Some people simply are unaware of how else to deal with misbehaviour, and that isn't their fault and it isn't because they are bad people. Authority can still be established without the use of spanking.
And in the running across the road example, you don't need to give a quick slap. I think an anxious expression, plus matching tone of voice and a firm (not hard so it hurts in anyway, just firm enough so they know you are serious) hold on the arm should be enough to tell the child to be careful because "mummy/daddy are worried about your safety".
There are plenty of resources out there for people to learn discipline without spanking and I would hope that people explore those options as well - AND have the patience to carry them out!
And if you do spank your children, never slap their face. That does worse for self esteem than anything. Children associate the face with "I". And to hit the face is to hit "I", and that is not only the face, but the child's personality, their being and their self. It is Who They Are.
i think the real issue here should be why are people allowing the government to tell them how to parent? spank your kid or don't spank your kid, that is your choice as a parent. if your gona let the government decide for you how to be a parent, why parent? why have kids? who should be the authority over your children, you the parent or the government?
Engyo
Prince of Dorkness!
It's because we have parents like the one I linked earlier, who beat a 2 year old girl to death for not saying "please". How do you address an issue like that?
I take them behind the barn and put a bullet between their eyes.
Seriously, spanking should in no way resemble a beating.
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
You are 100% right there.
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
methylatedghosts, i would quote your post, it would take years for me to do. 3 times in enough, if they dont want to learn teh easy way, then its the hard way. Also, Rev Rick, GREAT POSTS!
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
That reminded me of the scene on Bill Cosby himself when he said he used to think his dad was an idiot because he couldn't complete an entire sentence.
But it does solve something: It provides a non-harmful, yet stern deterrent for the child so they will not repeat such behavior.methlaytedghosts said:
Nor does that mean it's bad. Law enforcement has to go by this philosophy, otherwise their place in society would be redundant.methalaytedghosts said:
Is that an opinion or a fact? I think most of the people who have been disciplined on here (including myself), would disagree with you. I have never saw my parents spanking me as being hypocritical.methalaytedghosts said:
I think it's stupid because it's something that shouldn't be illegal in the first place.methalaytedghosts said:
fullyveiled muslimah
Evil incarnate!
People who are in favor of this law need to think about things a little more in depth. I mean do you realize all the trouble that can be unnecessarily caused by enacting this law? I mean for one thing people are forgetting is that there are alot of single parent homes out there.....alot of them. If you arrest the mother for something so simple as a spanking, she will have to receive some punishment. She'll have to pay a fine or most likely go to jail because she'll have to be charged with some form of battery or something. How many days will she have to miss work? If there are no other people willing to watch the child while she serves time, then the child will have to go into protective services. Missing all those days of work to go to court, pay court costs and fees, whatever fine the state put, will all negatively affect her household income. How long will it take to get her kids back? Will she lose her job since now it's on her record that she is a child abuser? If she looses her job and is unable to take care of her children, the state will deem her unfit and take her kids away. All this is time and resource wasting that could be better served to the children who are actually being abused, not simply spanked.
Can you see the potential problems this will cause? And for what? So the state gets to tell me I am unfit to do anything but work and pay taxes. I can have kids but I'm too stupid to raise them, I need the state to dictate to me what I can and cannot do with my children? It seems to me that more and more the parent have less of a say in how their children are handled. If kids didn't need parental guiding then they would have been born knowing everything they needed to know to survive then.
Can you see the potential problems this will cause? And for what? So the state gets to tell me I am unfit to do anything but work and pay taxes. I can have kids but I'm too stupid to raise them, I need the state to dictate to me what I can and cannot do with my children? It seems to me that more and more the parent have less of a say in how their children are handled. If kids didn't need parental guiding then they would have been born knowing everything they needed to know to survive then.
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
GREAT POST FVM! Fantastic. That is the best way of looking at it, as the child. If my parents were taken from me, that is worse then being slapped on the face.:bow: Frubals FVM!
EDIT: I would give u frubals but i can't since i can't give you any until i hand out more.
gnomon
Well-Known Member
It would depend upon what statutes are set in place but here in Georgia, assault could very well put you in jail. Misdemeanor crimes in Georgia carry the possibility of up to one year in jail. Usually, that doesn't happen but if a law were passed the possibility would occur.
For the record, I do agree with you and many others who have pointed out that there are better disciplinary techniques than corporal punishment. One caveat is that it is for the majority of situations and that I do not believe that most forms of corporal punishment do not constitute abuse and the evidence for psychological damage is rather lacking.