So...I've officially started testosterone therapy!

[Shadow Wolf]

I was actually going to ask you if you've started on estrogen yet. I really wish you all the luck. It's such a huge step but you'll feel amazing from it. I'm already feeling way better since starting T.

Do you think your parents will be accepting of it? I'm very sorry about your house.

I've not been able to start hormones yet. Although there have been a couple of times I got a hold of some depo provera, but it was only enough for a psychological gratification that the right stuff is going in. As for starting HRT, it's always "I'm going to get to it this year" which turns into "I'm going to start this year," but things always keep coming up like losing a job or not knowing when your going to get a surgery you need. But I'm getting my knee fixed, I'm going to play one mega-huge sympathy and enthusiastic card at the career center at school so I can find work, and I am really hoping that by around the start of the fall semester I'll be starting. I just wonder if insurance would cover the shot, because I know I won't remember to take a pill every day.
I know my dad won't be happy to hear it: he's very "old fashioned" and is so uptight that he can't even stand the thought of interracial dating. My mom at first won't, but I suspect as she sees her child going from a depressed shell of a son to an outgoing living-her-life daughter I think she may eventually come around. Or maybe that is just me hoping she will because I have heard her say some pretty nasty things about transsexuals.
But at least I'll be able to get started before I turn 30. Wish I would've kicked myself into doing it a decade ago, but I was very confused then and thought I was fighting against a demon when I was fighting against myself.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I've not been able to start hormones yet. Although there have been a couple of times I got a hold of some depo provera, but it was only enough for a psychological gratification that the right stuff is going in. As for starting HRT, it's always "I'm going to get to it this year" which turns into "I'm going to start this year," but things always keep coming up like losing a job or not knowing when your going to get a surgery you need. But I'm getting my knee fixed, I'm going to play one mega-huge sympathy and enthusiastic card at the career center at school so I can find work, and I am really hoping that by around the start of the fall semester I'll be starting. I just wonder if insurance would cover the shot, because I know I won't remember to take a pill every day.

I hear ya. I've been out since 2008 but I haven't been able to start HRT because I'm unemployed and had no health insurance. The only reason why I've been able to see a doctor about it is because I just got on Medicaid, thanks to the Medicaid expansion finally allowing me to be covered. Alas, it won't pay for testosterone since they exclude any trans-related services from coverage, which is ****** up.

You're a bit luckier, though, because estrogen is cheaper and easier to get. Not the case with T. Plus, there's a variety of different ways you can take it and more generic options. So I'm sure you'll be fine.

I know my dad won't be happy to hear it: he's very "old fashioned" and is so uptight that he can't even stand the thought of interracial dating. My mom at first won't, but I suspect as she sees her child going from a depressed shell of a son to an outgoing living-her-life daughter I think she may eventually come around. Or maybe that is just me hoping she will because I have heard her say some pretty nasty things about transsexuals.

I'm sorry to hear that. That really sucks. But at least you're an adult and I'm guessing you don't live with your parents so they can't stop you from doing it. Plus, there's always the hope that they could change their views.

But at least I'll be able to get started before I turn 30. Wish I would've kicked myself into doing it a decade ago, but I was very confused then and thought I was fighting against a demon when I was fighting against myself.

Definitely! I should've started in my late teens but that didn't end up happening because of lack of money. But at least it's finally happening!

You can't change the past, so onward into the future, sister!

 

[Knight of Albion]

Good luck with that St. F.

Wishing you every happiness ...

 

[kashmir]

Seems you are on your way.
Hope everything works out ok and no unwanted side affects (no clue what I am saying)
Just want to wish you the best.
Glad you got medical, makes all the difference in the world.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Thanks, guys.

I should talk to my doctor about allowing me to switch to weekly injections to avoid the mood shifts that happen at the end of the biweekly cycle when the T is low in your system.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I hear ya. I've been out since 2008 but I haven't been able to start HRT because I'm unemployed and had no health insurance. The only reason why I've been able to see a doctor about it is because I just got on Medicaid, thanks to the Medicaid expansion finally allowing me to be covered. Alas, it won't pay for testosterone since they exclude any trans-related services from coverage, which is ****** up.

Figures. GID (or I think just GD now) is a valid medical disorder that causes psychological torment (the DSM can use the term distress if it wants, but I just don't see "distress" as beginning to describe it), is stated to be treated by life adjustments and/or hormones and/or surgery, but yet many insurers will not cover it. I would think they would be mandated to under the new law since psychological care is part of the minimum accepted coverage.

You're a bit luckier, though, because estrogen is cheaper and easier to get. Not the case with T. Plus, there's a variety of different ways you can take it and more generic options. So I'm sure you'll be fine.

What are the options for t-guys and t? The few I have known have always had shots, though I do know there are pills. I don't know if there are any t-patches for the skin or not.

I'm sorry to hear that. That really sucks. But at least you're an adult and I'm guessing you don't live with your parents so they can't stop you from doing it. Plus, there's always the hope that they could change their views.

I recently moved back in with them after my floor was damaged. Even without transitioning I hate it here, but it's that or spend no less than a couple thousand dollars fixing up a home I'd only be staying in for not even a year and a half.

Definitely! I should've started in my late teens but that didn't end up happening because of lack of money. But at least it's finally happening!

Another "if you don't mind," but as a t-dude how were your struggles of denial and acceptance? I've not gotten to talk to many, and my knowledge of the subject is strongly slanted towards t-gals (who are known having bitter struggles with it).
My journey though is definitely one of ups and downs; I remember being ok with it and wanting to transition, not being ok with it, wanting a life that is more meant for me, praying to god to wake up a girl, praying to god to make it all go away so I could be normal, thinking it shameful, thinking it my salvation, and having rituals and meditations to try and better understand myself and to try and kill of that part of me and get rid of it.

You can't change the past, so onward into the future, sister!

Danke shön! For me, it is a future that is finally not a distant light that is miles away, but something that is almost and just so close to being within my grasp.

I should talk to my doctor about allowing me to switch to weekly injections to avoid the mood shifts that happen at the end of the biweekly cycle when the T is low in your system.

If you don't mind me asking, what sort of mood swings? After mine is down (temporarily and usually daily: I have my ways) I either get tired or I feel so girly I'm surprised no one has yet called me out on the increased talking with my hands and wrists.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Figures. GID (or I think just GD now) is a valid medical disorder that causes psychological torment (the DSM can use the term distress if it wants, but I just don't see "distress" as beginning to describe it), is stated to be treated by life adjustments and/or hormones and/or surgery, but yet many insurers will not cover it. I would think they would be mandated to under the new law since psychological care is part of the minimum accepted coverage.

Some states do cover it, such as California. They've actually banned discrimination against trans people in health care. You can thank Janice Raymond, the hate-filled radical feminist bigot, for health insurers throwing trans people under the bus. That ***** has blood on her hands. TransGriot: Why The Trans Community Hates Dr. Janice G. Raymond

What are the options for t-guys and t? The few I have known have always had shots, though I do know there are pills. I don't know if there are any t-patches for the skin or not.

There's the injections, gels, creams, patches and pills. But pills are rarely used because they're bad for the liver. The injections are the cheapest option. The others will run you over $100 a month.

I recently moved back in with them after my floor was damaged. Even without transitioning I hate it here, but it's that or spend no less than a couple thousand dollars fixing up a home I'd only be staying in for not even a year and a half.

So you're getting your own place, right?

Another "if you don't mind," but as a t-dude how were your struggles of denial and acceptance? I've not gotten to talk to many, and my knowledge of the subject is strongly slanted towards t-gals (who are known having bitter struggles with it).
My journey though is definitely one of ups and downs; I remember being ok with it and wanting to transition, not being ok with it, wanting a life that is more meant for me, praying to god to wake up a girl, praying to god to make it all go away so I could be normal, thinking it shameful, thinking it my salvation, and having rituals and meditations to try and better understand myself and to try and kill of that part of me and get rid of it.

My experience was different from yours, for sure.

I had always perceived myself as male, even as a child. In my internal fantasy world, I was always male. This was a source of deep shame and confusion. I just thought I was a freak and couldn't talk to anyone about it. I had no idea that it was possible to be a male in an XX body. I didn't know anything about transsexualism. During part of my teen years, I thought I might be a lesbian because butch lesbians where the only option for female masculinity that I knew of. So I tried saying I was a lesbian. However, that only ended up being half-hearted because I never identified with the lesbian community or with any female identity. Plus, I liked guys and felt closer to the gay male community.

I didn't meet a transsexual until I was high school. There was a trans girl who went to my school. Since I didn't know much about it, I thought it was really odd and said and did some things that I regret. (But she forgave me and I think she had a thing for me, actually.) Around that time, I started learning more about it and questioning my gender. I told my mom, when I was 17, that I was having gender issues and was really upset about it. She comforted me and told me that I'll figure it out eventually. It was when I was 18 that I accepted myself as a trans man. In January of 2009, I started living as a man as best as I could.

After learning about medical transition, I had figured out pretty quickly that I wanted to be on testosterone. I had "cravings" for it and was obsessed. I had been going to a trans support group and I was so jealous of the trans people who had started HRT. This feeling of jealously went on for years because I was so stuck. I had no money and so couldn't take that step. I was very angry and felt despair over it many times. I was also suicidal off and on. After being let down so many times, I didn't have much, if any, hope.

Danke shön! For me, it is a future that is finally not a distant light that is miles away, but something that is almost and just so close to being within my grasp.

Atta girl! Make sure you let us know when it happens so we can congratulate you!

If you don't mind me asking, what sort of mood swings? After mine is down (temporarily and usually daily: I have my ways) I either get tired or I feel so girly I'm surprised no one has yet called me out on the increased talking with my hands and wrists.

Hahaha. When I'm at the end of my T cycle, I've noticed that I'm liable to be irritated and cranky. I don't feel as "up" and my energy is lower than at the beginning of the T cycle. This is a problem a lot of trans guys have and so they switch to weekly injections at half a dose of what they take biweekly.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

How have your thoughts changed throughout the process?
Have you reached the point where you walk into a room & think to yourself....
"Yeah, I'd do her....I'd do her...& her....but not her....or her. OK, that's all of'm."
(This question might sound flippant, but despite an element of mirth, it's serious.)

Now I kinda am these last few days. I've been so horny. :X

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Some states do cover it, such as California. They've actually banned discrimination against trans people in health care. You can thank Janice Raymond, the hate-filled radical feminist bigot, for health insurers throwing trans people under the bus. That ***** has blood on her hands. TransGriot: Why The Trans Community Hates Dr. Janice G. Raymond
[/color]

The way I see it, if she and her advisers want to compare us to a highly intelligent, benevolent and merciful and highly articulated creature, it only shows the ignorance of herself and her doctorates advisers who seem to not know anything of this highly lovable being, nor how we share many similar experiences. She also apparently missed the fact that not all transwomen set out to live the life of a woman that a man approves of. But to try and use "Frankensteinian" as an insult really only reveals a total lack of knowledge of the novel and in the end it proves many of the deeper points Mary Shelly made in the Modern Prometheus.
Unfortunately many feminist, especially radical feminist, see t-girls as nothing more than men trying to be a better woman then natal-women.

There's the injections, gels, creams, patches and pills. But pills are rarely used because they're bad for the liver. The injections are the cheapest option. The others will run you over $100 a month.

Another question, do t-guys have something like an antiandrogen they take to block the effects of estrogen, or is it just testosterone? And I am assuming this a yes, but I don't know entirely, but does the testosterone regiment increase your chances of heart disease? Estrogen comes with a heightened chance of a blood clot, and maybe even breast cancer.

So you're getting your own place, right?

If I can find a place that will rent for less than a year. Or I have thought about biting my tongue (nearly off), and just staying at my parents to save as much money as possible before I move, and hopefully get facial surgery shortly after I move. But no matter what happens, at least my plan to transition through college isn't being totally derailed.

My experience was different from yours, for sure.

I had always perceived myself as male, even as a child. In my internal fantasy world, I was always male. This was a source of deep shame and confusion. I just thought I was a freak and couldn't talk to anyone about it. I had no idea that it was possible to be a male in an XX body. I didn't know anything about transsexualism. During part of my teen years, I thought I might be a lesbian because butch lesbians where the only option for female masculinity that I knew of. So I tried saying I was a lesbian. However, that only ended up being half-hearted because I never identified with the lesbian community or with any female identity. Plus, I liked guys and felt closer to the gay male community.

I didn't meet a transsexual until I was high school. There was a trans girl who went to my school. Since I didn't know much about it, I thought it was really odd and said and did some things that I regret. (But she forgave me and I think she had a thing for me, actually.) Around that time, I started learning more about it and questioning my gender. I told my mom, when I was 17, that I was having gender issues and was really upset about it. She comforted me and told me that I'll figure it out eventually. It was when I was 18 that I accepted myself as a trans man. In January of 2009, I started living as a man as best as I could.

After learning about medical transition, I had figured out pretty quickly that I wanted to be on testosterone. I had "cravings" for it and was obsessed. I had been going to a trans support group and I was so jealous of the trans people who had started HRT. This feeling of jealously went on for years because I was so stuck. I had no money and so couldn't take that step. I was very angry and felt despair over it many times. I was also suicidal off and on. After being let down so many times, I didn't have much, if any, hope.

I think the first time I heard of transsexualism was when I was in maybe first or second grade and there was a Dear Abby article about "men who become women can use the women's restroom." Before that I was aware of a certain attraction, I guess, towards girl things (like the Easy Bake Oven my mom never let me have because it's for girls, or My Little Ponies which I don't even think I ever asked for), but before I saw that article title I didn't know such a thing happened. And then I saw it mentioned on some TV show (Guinness Prime Time I think, mentioning a city in Colorado that performs more sex change operations than anywhere else in the world). And then my mom ended up working with a transwoman, kept calling her it, asked "if she dates guys is she gay, if she dates girls is she a lezzy" and even saying "I am not going to pee with it in the same room." That pretty much kept me quite on it for many years, until I hit the point I was ready to completely disappear and leave everything and everyone behind to start my life.

Atta girl! Make sure you let us know when it happens so we can congratulate you!

Believe me, I will.

Hahaha. When I'm at the end of my T cycle, I've noticed that I'm liable to be irritated and cranky. I don't feel as "up" and my energy is lower than at the beginning of the T cycle. This is a problem a lot of trans guys have and so they switch to weekly injections at half a dose of what they take biweekly.

I can't wait to be able to describe my own experience being on a real estrogen regiment. I have heard for most t-girls though moodiness and seemingly uncontrollable crying is very common (and I'm already known for being emotional and sensitive).

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

The way I see it, if she and her advisers want to compare us to a highly intelligent, benevolent and merciful and highly articulated creature, it only shows the ignorance of herself and her doctorates advisers who seem to not know anything of this highly lovable being, nor how we share many similar experiences. She also apparently missed the fact that not all transwomen set out to live the life of a woman that a man approves of. But to try and use "Frankensteinian" as an insult really only reveals a total lack of knowledge of the novel and in the end it proves many of the deeper points Mary Shelly made in the Modern Prometheus.
Unfortunately many feminist, especially radical feminist, see t-girls as nothing more than men trying to be a better woman then natal-women.

Great observation. I love Frankenstein.

They hate trans men, too. They see us as "women" who have internalized misogyny to such an extent that we try to become a member of the "oppressor" class. So whereas they tend to out and out hate trans women, they tend to have a more patronizing attitude towards trans men and encourage us to detransition and join them as angry lesbians.

Another question, do t-guys have something like an antiandrogen they take to block the effects of estrogen, or is it just testosterone? And I am assuming this a yes, but I don't know entirely, but does the testosterone regiment increase your chances of heart disease? Estrogen comes with a heightened chance of a blood clot, and maybe even breast cancer.

I don't know. There's apparently "natural" estrogen and aromatase blockers you can take, but I seem to only be able to find that being discussed on forums for 'roid heads and guys with "low T". Trans men don't take those. Testosterone pretty much overrides estrogen, even if you haven't had your ovaries removed. So we only take testosterone for HRT.

Testosterone can raise your level of HDL ("bad" cholesterol) which can lead to heart problems. But heart problems and T are usually correlated together when the amount of T is too high or too low. So if you stay within healthy ranges, you should be fine. Steroid abusers use outrageously high amounts of testosterone and other anabolic steroids - way higher than the amount that trans guys are put on - so they're at a very high risk for having a heart attack (among many other health problems).

Hormone replacement therapy (female-to-male) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If I can find a place that will rent for less than a year. Or I have thought about biting my tongue (nearly off), and just staying at my parents to save as much money as possible before I move, and hopefully get facial surgery shortly after I move. But no matter what happens, at least my plan to transition through college isn't being totally derailed.

That's not that bad, I guess. Which is more feasible?

[/color] [/color] I think the first time I heard of transsexualism was when I was in maybe first or second grade and there was a Dear Abby article about "men who become women can use the women's restroom." Before that I was aware of a certain attraction, I guess, towards girl things (like the Easy Bake Oven my mom never let me have because it's for girls, or My Little Ponies which I don't even think I ever asked for), but before I saw that article title I didn't know such a thing happened. And then I saw it mentioned on some TV show (Guinness Prime Time I think, mentioning a city in Colorado that performs more sex change operations than anywhere else in the world). And then my mom ended up working with a transwoman, kept calling her it, asked "if she dates guys is she gay, if she dates girls is she a lezzy" and even saying "I am not going to pee with it in the same room." That pretty much kept me quite on it for many years, until I hit the point I was ready to completely disappear and leave everything and everyone behind to start my life.

Wow, I'm sorry that your mom feels that way. I can understand why you're not out about it (if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me).

I can't wait to be able to describe my own experience being on a real estrogen regiment. I have heard for most t-girls though moodiness and seemingly uncontrollable crying is very common (and I'm already known for being emotional and sensitive).

Hahaha. Yeah, that does happen. Your sex drive takes a huge drop, too. For trans guys, it's the opposite. Our moods go up, we feel more confidant and our sex drive goes up.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Great observation. I love Frankenstein.

They hate trans men, too. They see us as "women" who have internalized misogyny to such an extent that we try to become a member of the "oppressor" class. So whereas they tend to out and out hate trans women, they tend to have a more patronizing attitude towards trans men and encourage us to detransition and join them as angry lesbians.

Angry lesbians hehe....

That's not that bad, I guess. Which is more feasible?

Wow, I'm sorry that your mom feels that way. I can understand why you're not out about it (if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me).

Funny thing that. I honestly have no idea how many people know about me. I came out to me ex, and she told her mom (which I expected since they are so close and didn't mind since she is so cool; turned out her mom had actually dated a guy at one point in time who was starting her own transition before her (my ex'es mom's) dad ran her off), and she told one of her friends which was alright since I liked her and she was excited for having another girl to hang out with and even excited to help me with makeup and clothes and stuff, and she told another friend of hers, who I do not like, and this friend told some of her friends who told others who told others. My family doesn't know yet though, even though just about everybody has seen me after my not so good earlier attempts at makeup removal (it looked more like tired dark circles around my eyes), and my mom noticed my nails had a shine to them once after I used nail polish remover.
As for which is more feasible, I'm not entirely sure. I know the best option would be staying, since I'll have to save up for a move, deposits, and all that stuff anyways, but telling my mom may potentially be on par with mountain goats butting heads, my dad will probably do his usual and say nothing, and my brother will probably turn rather quite ugly and nasty, especially since he claims he is all about embracing yourself, being yourself, and that he is aligned with the Left.

Hahaha. Yeah, that does happen. Your sex drive takes a huge drop, too. For trans guys, it's the opposite. Our moods go up, we feel more confidant and our sex drive goes up.

I'm actually very curious to experience the change in sex drive. Even before I accepted myself, though I had/have strong urges for sex, the enjoyment was usually minimal, afterwords I would feel really no different than after a rigorous workout, and more often than not I do not climax. I've wondered how much of my attraction towards women was programmed into me and that I had to be with women because that's what men are supposed to do. I've also wondered how my unexplored thoughts/fantasies, desires maybe even, to be with men will change once I've been on hormones long enough.
Come to think of it, I'm pretty excited that I am going to be learning even more about myself over the coming years. And even though I used to think I was horribly cursed, really I have learned it's such a wonderful blessing and a tremendously powerful eye-opening experience.
And in response to the angry femo-nazi lesbians, I may just write something building off the reverence of the Two-Spirits and how we are, in many ways, very much like Frankenstein Creature. Though some may call us mutilated abominations, on the inside we have a much deeper level of understanding than they could ever hope to have. I have also read a study (it's somewhere at least in the Kindle store) that says transsexuals typically have a higher-than-average IQs. And indeed the Creature was a very intelligent being.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Angry lesbians hehe....

That's what they are. Lol. They just hate men. They hate trans women for (presumably) having a Y chromosome and for being born with a penis. They hate trans men because we identify as men and take on male characteristics.

Funny thing that. I honestly have no idea how many people know about me. I came out to me ex, and she told her mom (which I expected since they are so close and didn't mind since she is so cool; turned out her mom had actually dated a guy at one point in time who was starting her own transition before her (my ex'es mom's) dad ran her off), and she told one of her friends which was alright since I liked her and she was excited for having another girl to hang out with and even excited to help me with makeup and clothes and stuff, and she told another friend of hers, who I do not like, and this friend told some of her friends who told others who told others. My family doesn't know yet though, even though just about everybody has seen me after my not so good earlier attempts at makeup removal (it looked more like tired dark circles around my eyes), and my mom noticed my nails had a shine to them once after I used nail polish remover.

Wow. Word sure gets around, doesn't it! I'm surprised that your immediate family hasn't heard.

As for which is more feasible, I'm not entirely sure. I know the best option would be staying, since I'll have to save up for a move, deposits, and all that stuff anyways, but telling my mom may potentially be on par with mountain goats butting heads, my dad will probably do his usual and say nothing, and my brother will probably turn rather quite ugly and nasty, especially since he claims he is all about embracing yourself, being yourself, and that he is aligned with the Left.

Yikes! So your brother might turn against you, too? Can you stay with any of your friends at all?

I'm actually very curious to experience the change in sex drive. Even before I accepted myself, though I had/have strong urges for sex, the enjoyment was usually minimal, afterwords I would feel really no different than after a rigorous workout, and more often than not I do not climax. I've wondered how much of my attraction towards women was programmed into me and that I had to be with women because that's what men are supposed to do. I've also wondered how my unexplored thoughts/fantasies, desires maybe even, to be with men will change once I've been on hormones long enough.

That does happen. Transitioning in general and hormones specifically makes you a more confident person and can give you the strength to explore things that you haven't explored before. As for me, I'm pansexual but I've always been more attracted to women so that hasn't changed and I doubt it will. I'm interested in men but haven't really explored that. It's a tricky thing for me.

I had a trans woman friend who had to keep her attraction to guys a secret because she lives in a homophobic environment and the people around her (her family and at least some of her friends) will look at it as being gay. So she keeps it a secret, lest she be thrown out. She has done stuff with guys on the sly (including me, and I actually fell in love with her) but she just pretends to be a straight up lesbian. It's very weird, because it shows that the people in her life don't really view her a woman if they might react to her being with men in a homophobic way, meanwhile she is being gay by being with women. People are weird.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty excited that I am going to be learning even more about myself over the coming years. And even though I used to think I was horribly cursed, really I have learned it's such a wonderful blessing and a tremendously powerful eye-opening experience.

As with most things, it's both a blessing and a curse. I would go back and forth by thinking that it was a horrible birth defect and then thinking that it was a great spiritual gift because I have an experience with gender that most human beings never get to have. It goes to back to, if you had the choice, whether you would chose to be born into the body of the gender you identify as or not. I'm not quite sure. Really, I think the problem is more with society. Trans people are a natural variation. I'm just a man who happens to have a vagina (I'm not getting rid of it, either) and I'm more accepting of that now than I ever have been.

And in response to the angry femo-nazi lesbians, I may just write something building off the reverence of the Two-Spirits and how we are, in many ways, very much like Frankenstein Creature. Though some may call us mutilated abominations, on the inside we have a much deeper level of understanding than they could ever hope to have. I have also read a study (it's somewhere at least in the Kindle store) that says transsexuals typically have a higher-than-average IQs. And indeed the Creature was a very intelligent being.

Bravo! :clap I agree. We just might be more gifted than we think. I mean, we go through the puberty of both sexes! That, in of itself, is astonishing.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Yikes! So your brother might turn against you, too? Can you stay with any of your friends at all?

I'm anticipating it. I would go on how he is a homophobe, misogynistic and so on, but bigot is much quicker and easier to use to sum it all up. And I do have some friends to stay with if it gets that bad. And if it really get's bad, I'm sure my school has some resources available, even if it is just information.

That does happen. Transitioning in general and hormones specifically makes you a more confident person and can give you the strength to explore things that you haven't explored before. As for me, I'm pansexual but I've always been more attracted to women so that hasn't changed and I doubt it will. I'm interested in men but haven't really explored that. It's a tricky thing for me.

I had a trans woman friend who had to keep her attraction to guys a secret because she lives in a homophobic environment and the people around her (her family and at least some of her friends) will look at it as being gay. So she keeps it a secret, lest she be thrown out. She has done stuff with guys on the sly (including me, and I actually fell in love with her) but she just pretends to be a straight up lesbian. It's very weird, because it shows that the people in her life don't really view her a woman if they might react to her being with men in a homophobic way, meanwhile she is being gay by being with women. People are weird.

As with most things, it's both a blessing and a curse. I would go back and forth by thinking that it was a horrible birth defect and then thinking that it was a great spiritual gift because I have an experience with gender that most human beings never get to have. It goes to back to, if you had the choice, whether you would chose to be born into the body of the gender you identify as or not. I'm not quite sure. Really, I think the problem is more with society. Trans people are a natural variation. I'm just a man who happens to have a vagina (I'm not getting rid of it, either) and I'm more accepting of that now than I ever have been.

As much as it would be awesome to be able to go back and be born a girl, and have all the girl parts and be able to experience normal girl things, I don't think I would just because of the vast wealth of knowledge and wisdom that comes from not just being aware of but experiencing the world through both male and female eyes.

Bravo! :clap I agree. We just might be more gifted than we think. I mean, we go through the puberty of both sexes! That, in of itself, is astonishing.

A second puberty alone is probably one of the more powerful and enlightening aspects. My first one sucked (and it didn't help my own mother mocked my cracking voice), but the next one I plan on enjoying, even if I do have annoying teenage girl moments.
It's also astonishing in how we can apply so many spiritual, metaphysical, and other ideas and concepts to our lives. For instance, I've taken to calling my pre-acceptance 110% male life my past, previous, or prior life. We aren't literally reborn or reincarnated, but indeed we do get a second life so-to-speak.

 

[dantech]

Curious question, once the whole process is over, will you still need injections every so often, or does the body start to produce enough testosterone on its own?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I just did my first self-injection! It was pretty easy. There was a bit of blood, but I didn't hit any veins or nerves. It doesn't hurt.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Curious question, once the whole process is over, will you still need injections every so often, or does the body start to produce enough testosterone on its own?

No, you need testicles to produce a male amount of testosterone. You have to take it for life.

 

[Nymphs]

I just did my first self-injection! It was pretty easy. There was a bit of blood, but I didn't hit any veins or nerves. It doesn't hurt.

Grats!

I used to have to do injections for vitamins -- I couldn't handle it. Freaked me out WAYYYY too much.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Grats!

I used to have to do injections for vitamins -- I couldn't handle it. Freaked me out WAYYYY too much.

Thanks. Needles never bothered me. I didn't even hesitate. It didn't hurt, anyway. I couldn't really feel it.

 

[Nymphs]

Thanks. Needles never bothered me. I didn't even hesitate. It didn't hurt, anyway. I couldn't really feel it.

What's funny is I have 10 tattoos, but I HATE medical needles.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

What's funny is I have 10 tattoos, but I HATE medical needles.

I actually have a needle fetish... Lol.