Teens: Questions about sex? Get them answered.

[Alceste]

On a few different threads I've been noticing the effects of "Abstinence Education" are really starting to show.

Anyway, AmazingLoser quite rightly expressed his frustration with the fact his questions about sex weren't answered in his school's sex ed program. It got me browsing around to see if there might be a one-stop-shop for accurate information about sex for teens, and lo and behold, I found one.

Sex, Etc. -- Sex Education by Teens, for Teens

I hope the younger members of the forum might find this useful, especially those who were subjected to religious "Abstinence Education" programs, which are notorious for spreading misinformation and fear-mongering.

 

[T-Dawg]

You mean that it's not true that condoms have an 80% success rate? =O

And all those pictures of people with STDs were fake? (They were very open about the STDs part. They had a big slide filled with pictures of people's infected genitals, and a few mouths and hands. I remember one guy who's penis looked like it had a little forest growing on it or something =/.)

 

[McBell]

I can tell you from experience that having your wife jump up and down for ten minutes after having sex does NOT prevent pregnancy....

And that douching with Coke afterwards only makes the sperm hyper....

 

[T-Dawg]

Holy smokes, check this out:

It is much safer to use condoms and contraceptives like the Pill. Only condoms can provide protection from most STDs.

CONDOMS PROVIDE PROTECTION FROM STDS?!? They specifically told me otherwise... =O

 

[Storm]

They lied.

 

[T-Dawg]

Hmm, I can't find one of the things I'm looking for: A step-by-step guide on how to masturbate. It says that guys can rub their penises with their hands or against pillows and sheets, but I've tried that, and it doesn't work.

 

[Alceste]

Hmm, I can't find one of the things I'm looking for: A step-by-step guide on how to masturbate. It says that guys can rub their penises with their hands or against pillows and sheets, but I've tried that, and it doesn't work.

Everybody's different - I'm not sure there is a "step by step guide" that is guaranteed to work for everybody. Maybe you could start a thread on their forum and see what the other guys have to say about it.

 

[Alceste]

You mean that it's not true that condoms have an 80% success rate? =O

And all those pictures of people with STDs were fake? (They were very open about the STDs part. They had a big slide filled with pictures of people's infected genitals, and a few mouths and hands. I remember one guy who's penis looked like it had a little forest growing on it or something =/.)

Condoms have a 97 % effectiveness rate when used exactly as instructed, every time you have sex. However, not everybody uses them exactly as instructed, every time, so the lowest estimate for "typical use" (meaning not using a condom every time, or not for the whole duration of sex) is 84%.

So, yes, the statistic they gave you is a lie. Learn more from the World Health Organisation.

There's no way to know if the pictures they showed you were fake or real, but the vast majority of STDs don't look nearly as gross as the picture you describe. Many (if not most) of them can be undetectable to the naked eye, and some don't even have symptoms. At least not right away. I'm sure the sex etc website can give you accurate information on STDs.

 

[whereismynotecard]

If you have sex, you will get pregnant. And die.

 

[TheKnight]

Maybe it's because I live in California, but where are these "Abstinence Education" programs found? I went to a Christian high school and our sex education taught all about sex...Same sex, condoms, birth control, the use of such, when to have sex, how to make sex more or less enjoyable, the anatomy of the reproductive parts, various religious views of sex, the consequences of sex, etc etc etc....(most of the Christian high schools in the area did too--I actually checked)

I keep hearing of this terrible close-minded sex education that teaches Abstinence only...but I've never actually met anyone who's been subjected to such a program...In fact, most of the kids I've met have perfectly good sex education programs and only don't know about sex and safe sex practices because they don't pay attention and generally make bad decisions....

Of course, that could just be me.

 

[whereismynotecard]

In Illinois, at a normal public school, they told us to not have sex before marriage. X_X I think they mentioned condoms and birth control, but I don't recall them ever talking about how to make sex more enjoyable or about same sex couples having sex. They pretty much told us about STDs and pregnancy and told us not to have sex. And we learned about anatomy too, like the fallopean tubes and all those weirdo things.

But of course, my mom will talk to me about anything, so I already knew all of the truth about sex well before the school mentioned it. Except I had a misconception about penises up until recently... My sister made fun of me about it.

So yeah... I don't think my school was as bad about it, but they definately could have done better with it. I think in Illinois schools it is the law that you must teach abstinence. I believe my health teacher at Uni said that last semester. I think it's bull ****, but that's life.

 

[jamaesi]

I keep hearing of this terrible close-minded sex education that teaches Abstinence only...but I've never actually met anyone who's been subjected to such a program...

Why hello there, TheKnight! My name is Jamaesi! I'd shake your hand but this is the internet and just not possible- and you're all the way on the other side of the country from me.

Anyway, now that you've met me, you know some who was subjected to such a program when she was in High School. Cool, huh?


Well, it was a pleasure to meet you! We should totally do lunch sometime, I can tell you about how I was told in school that if I had sex just once I'd get pregnant and die of some horrible STD- and using a condom would not protect me from anything! The fun activity done in our class was matching pictures of genitals inflicted with STDs to their diagnosis, man, that was a blast! Oh, and gay people are like unicorns, they just don't exist.

This might have something to do with why the pregnancy rates at my school were through the roof and they actually had a class for pregnant teens. This in a tiny rural school. However, that line of thinking would be logic, and if I learned one thing from my sex ed classes, logic wasn't it!

High school sex ed was great, man, just great.

Call me sometime, bye!

 

[McBell]

If you have sex, you will get pregnant. And die.

No I won't.
I can guarantee 110% that I won't get pregnant regardless of how much sex I have.

 

[Storm]

Maybe it's because I live in California, but where are these "Abstinence Education" programs found? I went to a Christian high school and our sex education taught all about sex...Same sex, condoms, birth control, the use of such, when to have sex, how to make sex more or less enjoyable, the anatomy of the reproductive parts, various religious views of sex, the consequences of sex, etc etc etc....(most of the Christian high schools in the area did too--I actually checked)

I keep hearing of this terrible close-minded sex education that teaches Abstinence only...but I've never actually met anyone who's been subjected to such a program...In fact, most of the kids I've met have perfectly good sex education programs and only don't know about sex and safe sex practices because they don't pay attention and generally make bad decisions....

Of course, that could just be me.

I went to school in TX, and our sex ed consisted of "condoms don't work."

 

[Alceste]

Maybe it's because I live in California, but where are these "Abstinence Education" programs found? I went to a Christian high school and our sex education taught all about sex...Same sex, condoms, birth control, the use of such, when to have sex, how to make sex more or less enjoyable, the anatomy of the reproductive parts, various religious views of sex, the consequences of sex, etc etc etc....(most of the Christian high schools in the area did too--I actually checked)

I keep hearing of this terrible close-minded sex education that teaches Abstinence only...but I've never actually met anyone who's been subjected to such a program...In fact, most of the kids I've met have perfectly good sex education programs and only don't know about sex and safe sex practices because they don't pay attention and generally make bad decisions....

Of course, that could just be me.

The point is that whatever they told you can not be trusted, and it would be worth your time to independently verify all of their factual claims.

Did they DEFINITELY lie to you? I don't know, but if they didn't, it's down to your teacher, not characteristic of Abstinence Programs.

Edit: on further consideration, it occurred to me that you're the guy who thought a man's sex drive is 100 times more powerful than a woman's, and that men can't control themselves so women who spend time alone with them are partly responsible for being raped. So, yes, they certainly did lie to you. Even if you didn't get that preposterous idea from class, they obviously failed to give you a meaningful education about human sexuality. If "all the kids you've met" think their sex ed program was informative, it only means the kids you've been talking to are just as misinformed as you, so they don't see the problem either.

 

[Panda]

We got decent sex ed at school. Learned about different types of contraception, condoms, the pill, morning after pill. We also got told how the all work and how they should be used, we were even taught how to put a condom on (we had to put a condom on a dildo correctly ). All of this would have been between the ages of 12 and 15.

 

[Aquitaine]

What is this utter nonesense you're all on about?

Jesus, how kept in the dark are you guys ey?

There's nothing here on that site about the Stalk or anything, other than this rubish about "sex".


Pfffft.

 

[Alceste]

Yeah, I got the same deal, I think. (It was so long ago). First I think we got the comprehensive biology part and got all our sex questions answered at 12, then another class dealt with STIs and birth control (and more sex questions) a couple years later. This "Abstinence Education" thing in the US is really giving kids a crappy deal. They end up THINKING they learned something about birth control, sexuality and STDs, except a lot of it is simply false - lies that fundamentalists think will put kids off sex before marriage because it's too scary and dangerous, and they end up thinking there's no way to protect yourself from disease and pregnancy. Of course it doesn't put them off sex, it only puts them off contraception.

 

[methylatedghosts]

Heh... Not only did we get taught about how sex works at school, we also got taught about how silly it is to get drunk and THEN have sex - at one point, this involved 1 1/2 hrs of skits in the school hall about how drunken sex can go horribly wrong. Terribly funny .

Also - we got shown pictures of bad STDs... not because they wanted to tell us to not have sex, but because they were saying "Hey look - you guys WILL have sex at some point, and this is why you need to use a condom properly. Here's a dildo, here's a condom, watch this video. Now you know the basics of how it works, and the things you should or shouldn't do."

 

[Alceste]

Heh... Not only did we get taught about how sex works at school, we also got taught about how silly it is to get drunk and THEN have sex - at one point, this involved 1 1/2 hrs of skits in the school hall about how drunken sex can go horribly wrong. Terribly funny .

Also - we got shown pictures of bad STDs... not because they wanted to tell us to not have sex, but because they were saying "Hey look - you guys WILL have sex at some point, and this is why you need to use a condom properly. Here's a dildo, here's a condom, watch this video. Now you know the basics of how it works, and the things you should or shouldn't do."

I'm not remembering the condom + dildo class. I wonder if they split up the boys and girls for that. That doesn't make any sense though. Everybody needs to know. Maybe I just skipped that class. That happened a lot.