sounds like bad counseling to me.
You quoted that out of context. The context is whether they have a choice to be depressed or not, not whether they can make choices in general.
This is what I said: I have an MA in Counseling Psychology, and no counselor would ever tell a client they have a choice. Moreover, I have been in counseling myself for over 20 years and no psychiatrist, psychologist or MA level counselor ever told me I have a choice as to whether I would suffer or not. That is unethical as well as insensitive and unnecessary to help a client. I cannot even imagine a counselor telling a client they have a choice as to whether they would be depressed or not.
The only job for a counselor is to help the client by listening to their problems and working with them to develop a treatment plan.
Here's your problem: you're conflating depression with suffering. Not all suffering is clinical depression.
That’s true, but so what? People suffer for all kinds of reasons.
...ostensibly by telling them that it's OK for them to be stuck?
Straw man. I never said that.
If someone says, "I had a hard upbringing and my father beat me, and that's why I can't get a decent job and be successful," then it's pretty obvious that that's what's happening with them.
I agree, but that is a particular situation. I agree that he is just making excuses.
Trailblazer said: How can you know that?
See above.
You said: I disagree. Mishaps, illnesses, losses, mistakes, injuries, and life situations are not always avoidable. But choosing to continue in a cyclical pattern of victimhood is.
I said: Who do you think you are to judge people and say they are wallowing in a cyclical pattern of victimhood? How can you know that? Are you God, do you know what is in their hearts and minds?
In particular situations such as the above it is pretty obvious, but how can you know that
everyone is choosing to continue in a cyclical pattern of victimhood?
Suffering is the mind set that we are victims of our pain.
Maybe sometimes but not always. The problem is that you generalize as if
everyone who suffers plays the victim role, but that is not true for everyone. Not all depressed people feel sorry for themselves. Some people are just depressed and many blame themselves. A major reason for depression is blaming oneself, not blaming others or their childhood. Those who blame others are angry at others, not depressed, and they use their anger to cover up the underlying depression. If they have to face the fact that they are guilty then they become depressed. Guilt and depression are closely intertwined.
If they're stuck in these negative patterns, I believe it does help to point that out and help them see the problem.
I do not disagree with that. I just pointed that out to my husband yesterday, but I doubt it will do any good. He acknowledged it but his behavior remains the same. Until he chooses to change that behavior he will not change it.
There you go again: conflating depression with suffering.
I never said that only depressed people suffer but people who are depressed suffer from depression.