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The Longest Thread Ever!
- Thread starter Don Penguinoini
- Start date
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
ARRRGHHH!!!
That is not funny! I almost died!
That is not funny! I almost died!
tumbleweed41
Resident Liberal Hippie
Gezhundeit
JMorris
Democratic Socialist
"There's no Church of England fundamentalism. We can't have Church of England fundamentalism. You know, like they have Islamic fundamentalism. Jihad!... Aha... Church of England fundamentalism is impossible because you can't have: "You must have tea and cake with the vicar... or you die!"
-Eddie Izzard
What? … The Carthaginians are attacking? God, I knew they'd do that. What? … They are attacking over the Alps? Damn, I knew they'd do that. What? … They're coming on Elephants? … Where'd they get the Elephants? There aren't any Elephants in Europe. This I got to see … are you sure? … It's not just a typo mistake? Perhaps the Carthaginians are attacking over the Alps and they are in their element? Kind of upbeat, you know. They're coming on ******* elephants, huh.
-Eddie Izzard
She said, "Spell 'ant'", and I wrote out the entire alphabet. She said, "That doesn't spell 'ant'", and I said, "It's in there somewhere! There's the 'A', there's the 'N', there's the 'T' – the rest are silent!"
-Eddie Izzard
Yes, and the Crusades were, "We kill you in the name of Jesus!" "Wait, we have Jesus too! He's a prophet in our religion! We kill you in the name of Jesus!"
"Do you? Well, we kill you for your dark skin, for Jesus was a white man from Oxford!"
"No, he wasn't! He was from Judea! Dark-skinned man, such as we!"
"Look, it's just we've come all this way. Would you mind awfully if we hacked you to bits? Just for the press back home."
-Eddie Izzard
There's 200,000 gods in Hinduism... and they've got gods like Shiva, the God of Creation and Destruction. Which is a good god to be, 'cause you can go *WHOOM* [creates thing] "What do you think? Do you like that? You don't like that?" *WHOOM* [destroys thing] If you're just the God of Creation, you're going *WHOOM* "Do you like that? You don't? All right, I'll put it in the garage... ****, I haven't got a garage! *WHOOM* [creates garage].
-Eddie Izzard
Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.
-Eddie Izzard
So, what's my point? And racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette." Racist people never go, "Do you mind if I'm racist? Oh, I'll go outside... ******* blue people, eh? Coming here, steal our hamsters..."
-Eddie Izzard
-Eddie Izzard
What? … The Carthaginians are attacking? God, I knew they'd do that. What? … They are attacking over the Alps? Damn, I knew they'd do that. What? … They're coming on Elephants? … Where'd they get the Elephants? There aren't any Elephants in Europe. This I got to see … are you sure? … It's not just a typo mistake? Perhaps the Carthaginians are attacking over the Alps and they are in their element? Kind of upbeat, you know. They're coming on ******* elephants, huh.
-Eddie Izzard
She said, "Spell 'ant'", and I wrote out the entire alphabet. She said, "That doesn't spell 'ant'", and I said, "It's in there somewhere! There's the 'A', there's the 'N', there's the 'T' – the rest are silent!"
-Eddie Izzard
Yes, and the Crusades were, "We kill you in the name of Jesus!" "Wait, we have Jesus too! He's a prophet in our religion! We kill you in the name of Jesus!"
"Do you? Well, we kill you for your dark skin, for Jesus was a white man from Oxford!"
"No, he wasn't! He was from Judea! Dark-skinned man, such as we!"
"Look, it's just we've come all this way. Would you mind awfully if we hacked you to bits? Just for the press back home."
-Eddie Izzard
There's 200,000 gods in Hinduism... and they've got gods like Shiva, the God of Creation and Destruction. Which is a good god to be, 'cause you can go *WHOOM* [creates thing] "What do you think? Do you like that? You don't like that?" *WHOOM* [destroys thing] If you're just the God of Creation, you're going *WHOOM* "Do you like that? You don't? All right, I'll put it in the garage... ****, I haven't got a garage! *WHOOM* [creates garage].
-Eddie Izzard
Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.
-Eddie Izzard
So, what's my point? And racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette." Racist people never go, "Do you mind if I'm racist? Oh, I'll go outside... ******* blue people, eh? Coming here, steal our hamsters..."
-Eddie Izzard
tumbleweed41
Resident Liberal Hippie
"I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal,
food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a
hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. You mother was a
hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
Don Penguinoini
Modi.
those eddie izzard quotes were not that funny really... or very good.
tumbleweed41
Resident Liberal Hippie
... and the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou
take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no
less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of
the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count
thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right
out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then
lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who
being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no
less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of
the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count
thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right
out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then
lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who
being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
rojse
RF Addict
I've been called a lot of things - intelligent, good-looking, witty, charming, and modest (and sometimes, it wasn't even me that said them) but never sweet.
rojse
RF Addict
rojse
RF Addict
a cake for rojse;
(yea it is a cake indeed)
.
I quite like that cake, particularly the raspberry glaze at the base, and the frosted sugar head.
.lava
Veteran Member
huh? so you are intelligent, good-looking, witty, charming and modest but you are not sweet LOL
how is it even possible? did you oppress the child within to become an adult? hmm...
.
.lava
Veteran Member
well, i must say i am impressed by art of cook. here is another one and i admire this art of birthday cakes. btw i would not know if i did not google horrorific "sweets" for you
can we eat a dragon too rojse? who's going to cook for us for free? how much would it cost to taste a dragon's wing?
.
.lava
Veteran Member
rojse
RF Addict
huh? so you are intelligent, good-looking, witty, charming and modest but you are not sweet LOL
In regards to being "intelligent, good-looking, witty, charming", saying that I do, and claiming modesty, I have all of these attributes in abundance, yet only recognise myself for having only a moderate amount of these qualities. Hence, modest in that I water down my attributes.
In regards to not being sweet, I am far too sarcastic, dismissive, rude and abrupt to think that I am sweet.
rojse
RF Addict
I don't know how to cook something so elaborate.
If you got a dragon for a cake from me, it would be a packet cake with a picture of a dragon in coloured icing. This dragon would have three wings, five feet, and what seems to be a long tail and a short tail, yet no head.