Thank you for your compliment, joelr. I appreciate it.
To be honest, it was very difficult for me to question God, the Bible, and what I believed as a Christian because I was raised in the church and indoctrinated to believe in God no matter what. I was taught to believe that the Bible is the Word of God and that I should never question its authority and accuracy. I was also taught to never question God in any way, and I was shamed by other Christians when I did. So, I quickly learned to keep my doubts and questions to myself while I was growing up. Unfortunately, this mentality stuck with me for the majority of my adult life, and I was a Christian for 30 years. I always felt shame and guilt whenever I questioned God, so I pushed my doubts to the back of my mind and tried to ignore them. But I lived with the nagging feeling that I was ignoring my doubts, and that made me feel sad and confused. Long story short, about a year and a half ago, I finally got to a breaking point where I decided that I wasn't going to ignore my doubts anymore. I decided I was going to face them, come what may, and so I did.
I began to examine and re-examine everything that I believed about God, the Bible, and everything else I believed as a Christian. As I said, it was very difficult for me, but I had my beloved, loving husband to help me get through it. I think of myself as a prime example of how deeply a person can be brainwashed and ensnared by a religion. My belief and faith in God were deeply entrenched in my psyche, and it was almost impossible for me to leave it behind. I compare my emotional dependence on God to being locked in a prison cell, except the door to my cell was open, but I never realized that I could leave whenever I wanted to. Being a devout Christian was detrimental to my emotional, mental, and physical health, and letting go of my faith was the best decision that I've ever made.