Namaste St. Frankenstein
Everyone cannot be the same. I understand that perfectly well. My persona has been since a child to today, to laugh in the face of everything, to be a rascal albeit a Hindu rascal. Frankly I could die any minute, but I will be a friendly prankster to the end only interested in fun and adventures. It is not bravery, it is rascaldom.
I do not exactly know why I am like that. But not everyone can be the same. While my entire life it has been a cakewalk, the yellow brick road, some say that is why I am a conservative but that is a lie, there is no connection between the two and I have known conservatives who have suffered greatly to their end. But those all around me, my friends and some "hanging out" have been every stripe, some demons, some saints and all inbetween. You say you are a Communist. I can tell you about a friend, a white male, a Communist for real. His father wuorked in the Soviet Union, this friend of mine lived under Communism and he liked it then and still liked communism when he ended up in the United States. He was also a drunk. I hated his drinking. He was also a gambler, 21 Blackiack. I was a great pool player, there was a pool hall where he came, I would make him crazy and defeat him in the last few cues in 8 ball. Of course we were friends. I even took him eventually to Hindu temples, he would join in on bhajans.
But he was a communist no matter what.
Then there was another friend. He also came from a communist country. He hated communism. And many Hindu adventures we had, just as the other. The communist and the anti-communist together, the subject hiowever was fun and adventure - in Hindu happy trails in this case. And another friend whu was rich, in fact I have knpwn a lot of rich people, and a lot more who were not, and a lot who were poor. And sick.
I have known the crazy people. But we had adventures indeed. The depressed, yet we had adventures. Black, a lot of whites for whatever reason unexplained, a LOT of nations and a lot of Indians, a lot of Chinese, there were Hispanics, we had adventures. And even some who were fixed on one religiion, yet more than a few came along for the ride.
Drug addicts. One guy spent three years in a prison in Peru for cocaine trafficking after running into the "Shining Path" communists (by circumstance) then got caught up in a Peruvian military sweep and a few of us spent hours writing Republican politicians who incredibly got him out. The world is stranger than known.
I don't want to bore you. My associates are vast. They lived, some died in misery, or from AIDS, or lived the life of riley like me where everything was easy.
I am guilty of nothing. I know you are under stress that there are not words for. You also have other issues, including anxiety and depression. I do not ever expect you to be like me. I would not even bother, and I hope one day soon all is well for you, yes it sucks, but I do feel sad for your situation and no I will not tell you "chin up, keep calm and carry on, or that I will pray for you even though I might, nor tell you or others on this forums lies - I may be incorrect or otherwise but that is not the same as lies.
My take isn't going to help you much at all. Yes I will send one more donation. But my take is, there are just different levels of no perfect answer to these problems. I wish one day, everyone could be sure of a house or private space to live in of their own, with their own bathroom - actually it will happen far in the future and it won't be the government as the "answer" but only after there are no more wars and no more religious extremism and yes, no more of that stuff - but oddly, since I do not consider a "place from the rain" as the same as "not being poor", I say there will always be the poor. Always.
There is no "answer " to these basic things and the dilemma you now find yourself. Sure, the answer may be God or Universal Detachment as such, but as for what some go through in life right now, there is no answer. But it might be better to be on the street with depression in America or Europe than oh let us say Iraq right now. That is not much consolation, but it is what it is. There isn't going to be any answer - no utopia - and we are all different. Folks say we need to resolve our differences. What a joke in one way, makes happy pranksters like me laugh but folks like me laugb a lot and I apologize for that. We are all different, and that is not a bad thing, and since we are all different, well we are never going to "resolve our differences". IMHO.
I am so very, very sorry. I am not the spokesperson for humanity, but I can pretend to be so I will say on it's behalf - I am sorry we did this, that we couldn't come through in time. We cannot give you the answer. I will give you $28 dollars. That isn't going to save the day. I hope others also give. I like a lot of things you do not. Sure some of the things I like also suck, but perhaps they overall suck less than some of the things you like. Too bad we didn't meet 20 years ago, perhaps I could have taken you for some adventure. Today, I know I will be dead in the not so distant future - I know because the Divine made it clear. It's probably going to be a heart attack - so common. Probably in less than 5 years or so, there won't be a ShivaFan on the internet. Go figure. But I am not afraid of anything.
But not everyone is the same. I certainly hold nothing against another just because they are afraid. If I can calm that fear, God knows maybe my pranks may help, or at least distract. I am sorry. May the Goddess now come and do a miracle for you.
