He asked you to "Describe this real God, so that if I encounter a real suspect, I can determine whether it's God or not." I'm pretty sure he knows that you can't, nor did you, and the point is that discussions about gods are really discussions about nothing specific, just vague intuitions. I have similar intuitions involving a sense of the mysterious and awe for what reality is as well as a sense of connection to it and gratitude for being able to participate in it, but I don't identify such notions with gods or anything else specific. It's just nature in all its splendor.
I already have no gods, and yes, I learned what works through experience (trial and error). I know why the people in my life are there, and in many cases, the reason is because I want and put them there.
Unconditional love should be limited to very young humans and nature. Unconditional love for all adult humans is a pretty bad idea. Love is a relationship with another in which one offers protection, shares resources including time, and is generally interested in the well-being of that other. There are conditions for that. One is that you not be an enemy. I don't love enemies. And if I have loved another who willingly harms me, the love is diminished or ends. I see no benefit to any other attitude.
Who benefits from the notion of unconditional love? Only the unlovable one. Here's a better idea than me loving such a person unconditionally. How about if they can't return the love - and I'm excluding people too young to do that - that they learn and give to others what they expect in return or learn to live alone or with others like themselves. That's conditional love and the way I live my life. As I said, I've learned what works through experience (trial and error), and unconditional love is a bad idea.
That's a separate issue - attachment. Happiness includes both distancing oneself from destructive people and learning to be happy with what you have. That was another lesson life taught me.
I agree with you here. This doctrine of unconditional love is only good for what you call evil people. I tolerate the tolerant. I love the loveable, which excludes the intolerant, the selfish, and the disloyal. That's how I've arranged my life, and that's my model for society in general - tolerate (and facilitate, which is love) the tolerant, and send the rest away to go cheat and betray one another. Thise are conditions for love.