What is wrong (or right) with inter-racial and inter-religious marriages?

[LuisDantas]

Coming back to the basic subject of this thread.

Inter-faith marriages can certainly be excellent sources of mutual understanding when at their best.

Unfortunately, they can also be saddled with unnecessary or even destructive baggage.

We should probably gauge on a case-by-case basis, and the nominal faiths are likely to be far less decisive than factors such as how supportive and how enlightened the social environments are.

That said... I think that it is only fair to point out that some faiths are far more capable of dealing with differences of belief than others, and for some it is actual doctrine to reject such mixing.

Also, an inherited creed says something about what a person's vocabulary and life experiences will be, and slightly less about what his or her side of the family will understand, accept and support. Those are all legitimate concerns when choosing a life partner.

As for a chosen (as opposed to inherited) creed, it has some of the same qualities of an inherited creed, but it also hints of how significant the very matter is for that person; how satisfied he or she was with the inherited stance; and what he or she hopes to change on that regard in his or her personal sphere. Again, those are all legitimate subjects for one to consider when considering potential spouses.

Marriages, I like to point out, are very much a biased activity. Hopefully in a joyous way. They are not supposed to be fair, because fairness is considerably less personal.

 

[sayak83]

I realize that, but it is unfair to saddle a person with a label of "contradictory" when there is no contradiction to speak of.

Yes, I feel for @Aupmanyav on this matter.

Sorry for that @Aupmanyav

 

[Aupmanyav]

Just as Brahman is one.

Brahman is not a God for me. It is the entity which constitutes all things in the universe, the base.

What is the value of my belief if I believe in doing right action and moral good but I hold bigoted views?

That is quite subjective, like polygamy in Islam. It is perfectly valid there but not with many others.

 

[Aupmanyav]

I was not criticizing you by the way. That was not the intention.

Nice painting, Sayak. (Piccaso - Girl before a mirror)

I realize that, but it is unfair to saddle a person with a label of "contradictory" when there is no contradiction to speak of. Yes, I feel for @Aupmanyav on this matter.

Aw, thanks, Luis.

 

[Aupmanyav]

In India, we cannot forget its political effect with Muslims generally siding with BJP opponents. But BJP might extend the benefits of 'Affirmative Action' (Reservations, etc.) to poor Muslims very soon. Democracy is a great equalizer.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Brahman is not a God for me. It is the entity which constitutes all things in the universe, the base.That is quite subjective, like polygamy in Islam. It is perfectly valid there but not with many others.

That is fine. You take a more materialist approach. Doesn’t change the fact that you believe in some principles that are perceived to be universal and the benefit of the individual and the world yet hold a limited belief. I am sure you do not believe in inter-racial marriages either

 

[Epic Beard Man]

In India, we cannot forget its political effect with Muslims generally siding with BJP opponents. But BJP might extend the benefits of 'Affirmative Action' (Reservations, etc.) to poor Muslims very soon. Democracy is a great equalizer.

Fine. But there are a little bit or so, billion plus Muslims. Hard to hold views of people you never met.

Really hard to discriminate against anyone who when your own folks are being discriminated against

 

[Aupmanyav]

.. and the benefit of the individual and the world yet hold a limited belief.

Benefit or loss of the individual does not concern the uninvolved Brahman of 'Advaita' Hinduism.

But there are a little bit or so, billion plus Muslims.

I am not concerned with all the people of the world. My concern is only with India, Indians and Hindus. Hindus generally do not face any discrimination except from a few rank racist people, who exist in all countries..

 

[LuisDantas]

Really hard to discriminate against anyone who when your own folks are being discriminated against

Anthropologically, it is known to be not really very hard.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Benefit or loss of the individual does not concern the uninvolved Brahman of 'Advaita' Hinduism.I am not concerned with all the people of the world. My concern is only with India, Indians and Hindus. Hindus generally do not face any discrimination except from a few rank racist people, who exist in all countries..

Yet Hindus and Indians have and constantly discriminate against others. Thank you for this conversation. I realize now an Indian who white supremacists and nationalists categorize as inferior some, among their demographic perpetuate the very stereotypes they face. Got it.

 

[idea]

Nothing wrong with inter-racial marriages of course. But inter-religious marriages can potentially be asking for trouble, especially among the devout.

I am currently delicately navigating the mixed-faith marriage (I have left the Mormon religion, while my husband is still kind-of there, and kids are there). There are pros and cons to it - I think kids in a mixed-faith family have more freedom to explore and follow their own conscience if everyone in the family is not pushing them through the same door. The kids can also feel less secure though, but then security is not real, so it might be healthy for everyone to not feel 100% secure in anything. I love my kids, provide for them - am honest with them, that should be a good type of security.

There are things my DH and I just do not talk about - I do not bash his faith, and he does not push me into being active again. Is this walking on egg-shells? A non-open, not emotionally connected relationship? But then I did not feel emotionally connected when I was active either - two people who have allegiance to an organization do not necessarily see one another - are sheeple sooper close to other sheeple, or are they just close close to their shepherd.... and are they really close to their shepherd? or are they just pets - down at the ground cowering behind something they think might protect them - that is not really being close to anyone or anything either...

Perhaps when I am old and gray I will have it figured out.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Yet Hindus and Indians have and constantly discriminate against others.

Hindus do not discriminate but keep to their ways, generally. They expect others to honor that and not invade their space.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Anthropologically, it is known to be not really very hard.

What I should have said was "it's really hard to hold legitimate discriminatory views of people who you've never met nor have they had any interaction."

Meaning you can't say something [legitimate and with great reason] against all Muslims when you've never been among the Muslims in the Bronx and Dearborn Michigan. Sure I can say the sky is red but if I know the sky is blue but instead calling it red, I'm merely acting irrational. That was my point.

 

[sayak83]

Yet Hindus and Indians have and constantly discriminate against others. Thank you for this conversation. I realize now an Indian who white supremacists and nationalists categorize as inferior some, among their demographic perpetuate the very stereotypes they face. Got it.

I am also Indian and Hindu and am perfectly fine with mixed faith marriages. Many of us exist as well. There are people of all kinds everywhere, obviously.

 

[sayak83]

Yet Hindus and Indians have and constantly discriminate against others. Thank you for this conversation. I realize now an Indian who white supremacists and nationalists categorize as inferior some, among their demographic perpetuate the very stereotypes they face. Got it.

Same goes for African people as well. There exists no group where some people do not have discriminatory views and act on them.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

Hindus do not discriminate.

That is the most asinine response and you know this is not universally true.

expect others to honor that and not invade their space.

This is planet earth and unfortunately people at times will "invade their space." If you can't learn to live with people then you have issues. Again, with plenty of experiences with fellow Indian-Americans, I'm at odds at how many of them in the city of Compton alone can own businesses in the inner city yet treat some people witht he most disrespect. A lot of Indians in California suffer from the residual effects of British colonialism, and many tend to typify white supremacist behavior. This is no differen than some of the people with the African, and Hispanic American communities. We villify the "other" while being the "other" ourselves.

 

[sayak83]

That is the most asinine response and you know this is not universally true.



This is planet earth and unfortunately people at times will "invade their space." If you can't learn to live with people then you have issues. Again, with plenty of experiences with fellow Indian-Americans, I'm at odds at how many of them in the city of Compton alone can own businesses in the inner city yet treat some people witht he most disrespect. A lot of Indians in California suffer from the residual effects of British colonialism, and many tend to typify white supremacist behavior. This is no differen than some of the people with the African, and Hispanic American communities. We villify the "other" while being the "other" ourselves.

I don't think we should blame the colonists for everything. Responsibility for intrinsic flaws should be ours alone. Hinduism says that one is heirs to one's own karma and shifting the blame has no effect.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

I am also Indian and Hindu and am perfectly fine with mixed faith marriages. Many of us exist as well. There are people of all kinds everywhere, obviously.

That's fine and I'm not saying all. Yes, there are all kinds of people everywhere but I don't always deal with "all kinds" growing up here and working here in the inner city most of the times I deal with one specific kind. A lot of these business owners here in Compton area often treat me a professional clinician, with the same contempt as if I'm some pan handler or crack addict. I'm well aware of the pre-conceived notions many Indians have of Americans and of specific ethnic cultures (and religions) of people here.

Unfortunately my mindset and demeanor at times are shaped by being discfriminated agaionst because of these pre-conceived notions, and I'm sure my Muslim friends from Arabic speaking countries may have the same issues. The problem I see sometimes is that the moderateprogressives among the Hindu faith of Indian ethnic background sometimes remain silent. But so long as we have this "what-about-ism" or "everyone else does it" mentality focus on in-group problems our issues continue to be cyclical.

 

[Epic Beard Man]

I don't think we should blame the colonists for everything. Responsibility for intrinsic flaws should be ours alone. Hinduism says that one is heirs to one's own karma and shifting the blame has no effect.

But I also think colonial influences can have a residual affect on one's cultural perception of themselves and the world. Jim crow laws of the U.S. south is a great example of this.

 

[Aupmanyav]

This is planet earth and unfortunately people at times will "invade their space." If you can't learn to live with people then you have issues. Again, with plenty of experiences with fellow Indian-Americans, I'm at odds at how many of them in the city of Compton alone can own businesses in the inner city yet treat some people with the most disrespect.

They should not. Intrusion is not their right. If they do, then they should not wonder why they are disrespected. You should just be a professional clinician. Don't try to be more than that when the other party does not desire it, and then, I hope, you will be respected. You go to a shop, like something, ask for the price and buy it if the price suits you. That should be the end of it. You mean only Indians can open a shop in inner Compton? I am surprised. Does the Californian law give them this right?