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What makes somebody attractive?
- Thread starter Erebus
- Start date
My first inclination is to say confidence comes from wisdom and a really healthy sense of humor.
Do I get a cookie?
Well if you have asperegers, confidence doesn't come naturally that's for sure...
Also I disagree, I don't think confidence comes from wisdom.
Why wouldn't it? If I am sure of something, I feel confident in it. But when that assurance is soundly based on reasoning and empathy, all the better because it is wise.
And my qualifiers include a sense of humor, too. Very important IMO.
MissAlice
Well-Known Member
Why wouldn't it? If I am sure of something, I feel confident in it. But when that assurance is soundly based on reasoning and empathy, all the better because it is wise.
And my qualifiers include a sense of humor, too. Very important IMO.
Actually one can be sure of anything without being the social type also it depends on the kind of confidence you're talking about. I happen to have aspergers which it makes it tough for me to socialize like an extravert. I've known many wise people who are socially shy so to equate wisdom with being extraverted just make a whole deal of sense to me especially given the jerks who treat people like dirt who are confident with themselves.
I'd also have to ask what you define as wisdom?
For me it is life experience and using that inner intuition even the most book smart people lack in but that's just me. Intelligence imo comes in many forms.
Yes humor is great too, I have to say I can't stand it when people take themselves too seriously. Then again I think most of us could use a little sense of humor including myself.
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ZZ, I've missed getting entangled in these koan-like debates with you.
:angel2:Wisdom and sense of humor comes from perspective. The ability to perceive and discern with compassion objective phenomena from subjectivity. They also come from the realization between balancing free will vs. determinism by understanding that sentient beings always have their own unique hand of cards that are dealt to them, but it's their choice on how they play them. And hence, the mind then becomes a major player if not seen as THE player in our journeys.
Now that I've gone on that sweet little tangent, I stand by my assessment that confidence is what attracts people the most. It's that realization from the observer that the person in question has the right balance between being grounded in self-knowledge (wisdom) and being happy-go-lucky and unworried (sense of humor).
OK, so the mind (whether we want to define it as the Clear Light of the Mind from sunyata and emptiness, or we want to see it as the material brain here in samsara) is the key here.
That's it. I'm eating the cookie.
I don't think being extroverted has anything to do with confidence. My husband is very introverted, and yet I find him incredibly attractive. One can be quiet and confident, and that's perfectly fine.
MissAlice said:
I answered that in my reply to ZZ.
MissAlice said:
Ah, but one can experience life and make the same mistakes over and over again when one doesn't become aware. Perspective is paramount.
As far as physical and cognitive characteristics that we are born with or inherit at some point in our lives, consider this: I'm 4'11". By most measurable standards, I'm crazy-short. But, I can still "stand tall" and be "bigger than life." These phrases describe how I carry myself.
Oh, we're talking about ultimate reality and emptiness now, aren't we?
Yeah, ultimately speaking, youth, vitality, and mental acuity come and go and are therefore impermanent. I'm limiting my answers to what is relative in the here and now, though. And, relatively speaking, confidence is what is attractive in the context of the OP.
MMMMM, cookies!
zenzero
Its only a Label
Friend MS,
If you read back will find that had mentioned friend Shyanekh that the question should be What attracts others to someone and he responded by:
The core of the an individuals is the AURA around the individual that attracts others towards the individual and things like confidence etc are just a small part of that AURA.
How were the cookies anyway?
Love & rgds
If you read back will find that had mentioned friend Shyanekh that the question should be What attracts others to someone and he responded by:
The core of the an individuals is the AURA around the individual that attracts others towards the individual and things like confidence etc are just a small part of that AURA.
How were the cookies anyway?
Love & rgds
OK. Let's go with your definition, then. Confidence is a small part of this aura that you speak of. So, what are the other parts?
ZZ said:
Yummy. I enjoyed them.
Erebus
Well-Known Member
1. And on the other hand, a girl who does the exact same thing there is ...a ****. Gotta love that double standard don't you? The whole thing is just messed up.
2. I don't think you're a freak. I think you are just more mature than your friends. More open and less superficial too. These are good things, not freak things.
1. It's really awful, gender expectations are far too rigid in my opinion. Women shouldn't have to be prudish and men shouldn't have to be alpha dogs.
2. Thankyou Draka
Kilgore Trout
Misanthropic Humanist
Purely physically speaking, we're all pretty much programmed to find similar things attractive, although this can be variably influenced by associations we develop between physical traits and perceived personality traits. For instance, I do not find blonde hair attractive. I may find a person with blonde hair attractive, but, invariably, when/if I see them with darker hair, I find them considerably more attractive. I can't pinpoint the specific personality assumption, or how/why it developed, but I realize that I feel a disconnect with blonde-haired people.
One thing I know I do, is tend to notice/look for faults more easily in very attractive people, and tend to notice/look for attractiveness more readily in somewhat, or moderately attractive people.
One thing I know I do, is tend to notice/look for faults more easily in very attractive people, and tend to notice/look for attractiveness more readily in somewhat, or moderately attractive people.
Ringer
Jar of Clay
I think I do the same, and I wonder if it's because I always tried to find justification as to why I wouldn't want to be with them. I never gave much of a thought to the very attractive women I'd meet because I always assumed they'd have the vanity and pretentiousness that would make being with them unbearable. It's more appealing for me to find the one is confident in herself, but humble enough to not think she is God's gift to anybody that is lucky enough to be with her. Oh, she also has to have at least a Lietuentant General rank in the new Call of Duty: Modern Warefare 2 game.
Caladan
Agnostic Pantheist
I'm a simple man
... pointy breasts and a Caribbean accent and Im yours. if you're serious, get me well drunk on coconut rum for full effect 
Aquitaine
Well-Known Member
One of the things that happens as you average faces together is that the results get more and more symmetrical and proportioned if you average more faces at a time.
For instance, here's a face I find particularly attractive:
I can average this face with these three faces:
and get this result:
I can average those four faces with 44 other faces and get this result:
I think a lot of people would say that the more proportioned averaged faces are more attractive, and that the last face is the most attractive of the six. I agree that the averaged faces are attractive, but I still think the first face has a "certain something" that the averaged faces don't.
No way!
That website is crazy!
You just choose random faces and it "creates" a collective face outta all the pictures, that's incredible!
Ima post some hottiez as soon as I...... "manufacture" them! ^_^
Aquitaine
Well-Known Member
atotalstranger said:
You know what, I'm exactly the same.
If say like, with Celebs or a model, someone asks me my opinion on them, if they're really naturally attractive I'll be more "picky" and notice more flaws etc, even though they're incredibly attractive.
But for us normal folks, it's totally different, I'm not picky at all, atleast not with looks.
I think maybe it's cause when we "check out" the very attractive people, we shift our criteria from being against "desirable" to "perfection".
zenzero
Its only a Label
Friend MS,
each individual is made up of so many things which are from the gross body to thoughts , emotions, speech, bahaviour, confidence and what have you though they appear to be separate from that universal light source are in reality ONE but since limitations are dependent in most humans we do not perceive the light source but indirectly drawn towards it and likewise each unit [form too depending on the forms consciousness reflects part of the original light which attracts others.
Have another cookie.
Love & rgds
LIGHT is UNIVERSAL and each individual forms or no-forms are all part of that light and those who get enlight by getting closer to the light source or through various ways are also light.
each individual is made up of so many things which are from the gross body to thoughts , emotions, speech, bahaviour, confidence and what have you though they appear to be separate from that universal light source are in reality ONE but since limitations are dependent in most humans we do not perceive the light source but indirectly drawn towards it and likewise each unit [form too depending on the forms consciousness reflects part of the original light which attracts others.
Have another cookie.
Love & rgds
