When Can Someone Change His or Her Consent to Sex?

[Titanic]

just be glad none of you are involuntary celibate, like a person I knew and he killed himself.

 

[dawny0826]

Actually there is another alternative. Your husband sleeps with another woman because he's just not satisfied with you. Most extra-marital affairs happen because one-partner refuses to put out or turns the whole thing into a joke. The fact of the matter is, playing around with this intimate part of life is a recipe for disaster.

My husband is sitting here with me and posts on this forum, so I'll let him comment, if he wants to. He's a man of integrity and we believe in honest communication. We fulfill each other and enjoy doing so frequently.

Most extra-marital affairs occur because people are selfish and are incapable of honest communication. People with integrity can have fulfiling lives without hurting other people.

 

[sunni56]

Inviting someone to dinner at your house and then telling him to get out is terrible ettiquete, but it is still your house and if the person tries to stay you can call the cops.

Sex is more intimate and messy anyways. You get to be more "selfish" when it is your body.

Yes but the reality is, a man doesn't have anywhere else to go other than another woman if his wife or partner refuses to take his needs seriously. This leads to a break-down in society, if it happens everywhere (which it is happening and it is why divorce rates are out of control). The whole point of marriage is to be able to do stuff properly in the bedroom with the person you're with.

 

[Me Myself]

Actually there is another alternative. Your husband sleeps with another woman because he's just not satisfied with you. Most extra-marital affairs happen because one-partner refuses to put out or turns the whole thing into a joke. The fact of the matter is, playing around with this intimate part of life is a recipe for disaster.

Sure, there is also another alternative. She fools around with a man who listens to her at sex o.o .

Then again, both alternatives are immature and undesirable, when simple commucation trust and respect suffice,

 

[Aquitaine]

Actually there is another alternative. Your husband sleeps with another woman because he's just not satisfied with you. Most extra-marital affairs happen because one-partner refuses to put out or turns the whole thing into a joke. The fact of the matter is, playing around with this intimate part of life is a recipe for disaster.

It all makes sense now: if a woman agrees to bed a man then she must submit to his sexual desires entirely, regardless of her feelings. After all, if she agreed to sleep with him then she's asking for it. Silly woman...

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Depends on the action and the person. Also, the three year olds were expecting the music to sotp, it was part of the game. A person being told to stop by her/his partner may be taken completely by surprise depending on the timing in which they say so. The surprise causes mental stun, and the body keeps doing the repetitive motion it was doing until the mind resolves to stop. Also, thiings can confuse people.

If we are plang a game of speed and I tell you to count the number of fingers in my right hand and I was going one, two three four, two, four two four, two one one five one then raise m left hand, etc, the reactions will be much slower as the pattern is broken, and the person WILL say two after the four if ñi had gone two four two four for a good time even if I display a five. Why? The pattern.

If you are jogging and I tell you to stop on my mark, and ñi stop with you each time but on another one I DONT stop, you mig keep walking a bit before stopping because my body language continued similarly even though my verbal language changed.

In those two examples, it is a different thing that changes, but as you are conditioned for a pattern you ll stop it when you realise you have to stop. Ts tends to be quick, but not immidiate.

No, the game is to go and go and go and go and to respond if/when prompted to stop. The purpose of the game is to PAY ATTENTION.

That's the purpose of sex. PAY ATTENTION.

You're continuing to split hairs here. Also, care to recant your accusation that I'm differentiating how guys are different than women and that I'm singling men out?

And you also never commented on the experience I, or Alceste, or Dawny, or Draka, have had with all our partners and that when the word "Stop" or "No" was mentioned....the sex STOPPED.

Can't wait to hear your explanation for how all our experiences are wrong, or somehow prove your argument right. This ought to be really good. opcorn:

 

[sunni56]

My husband is sitting here with me and posts on this forum, so I'll let him comment, if he wants to. He's a man of integrity and we believe in honest communication. We fulfill each other and enjoy doing so frequently.

Most extra-marital affairs occur because people are selfish and are incapable of honest communication. People with integrity can have fulfiling lives without hurting other people.

That's nice to hear. But it's just a fact of life that unfilled people will go elsewhere or if they are respectable, they will divorce, which is a far better option than an affair. Affairs are immoral and filthy.

 

[Me Myself]

Yes but the reality is, a man doesn't have anywhere else to go other than another woman if his wife or partner refuses to take his needs seriously. This leads to a break-down in society, if it happens everywhere (which it is happening and it is why divorce rates are out of control). The whole point of marriage is to be able to do stuff properly in the bedroom with the person you're with.

Sure, and doing it properly includes respecting no means no.

A proper man cares to pleasure his woman the same way a proper woman cares to pleasure her man. If either ignore the concerns, pains or contemplations of the other during such an intimate shared time the relationship wont be mutually beneficial anyways and is better ended than continued.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Forgive me, but, I've NEVER known a man who has needed any specific amount of time to process what I've requested and I've stopped sexual encounters before for a variety of reasons.

The intent of my partner has always been known to me pretty immediately. A pause...a puzzled look...no problem. I know my partner is human and may be confused or even frustrated.

It's the failure to stop that makes all the difference. It really doesn't matter if it takes you ten seconds to react as long as you're reacting in the correct manner and that's going to be QUITE evident to her through your mannerisms and body language.

This isn't rocket science.

*sigh* I know, Dawny. The point seems to get lost on some folks in this thread.

 

[Titanic]

what if you could not have sex? what would you do then?

 

[Me Myself]

No, the game is to go and go and go and go and to respond if/when prompted to stop. The purpose of the game is to PAY ATTENTION.

That's the purpose of sex. PAY ATTENTION.

You're continuing to split hairs here. Also, care to recant your accusation that I'm differentiating how guys are different than women and that I'm singling men out?

And you also never commented on the experience I, or Alceste, or Dawny, or Draka, have had with all our partners and that when the word "Stop" or "No" was mentioned....the sex STOPPED.

Can't wait to hear your explanation for how all our experiences are wrong, or somehow prove your argument right. This ought to be really good. opcorn:

You were pretend quoting me pretending me to make deliberately sexist accusations.

And of course it stopped. My partner stopped too. Anyone with minimum care stops. Its just depending on the position and several factors it has a reaction time. Thats all.

Or do you think e people that keep walking after the music stops wanted to lose the game? You think ey did it on purpose? Bcause you havent explained that either.

I can quote you videos on youtube where people lag their reaction, butis it really necessary?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Yes but the reality is, a man doesn't have anywhere else to go other than another woman if his wife or partner refuses to take his needs seriously. This leads to a break-down in society, if it happens everywhere (which it is happening and it is why divorce rates are out of control). The whole point of marriage is to be able to do stuff properly in the bedroom with the person you're with.

The statistics for motivations for extra-marital affairs tell a different story.

The whole point of marriage is to be able to work together as a partnership, which includes but is not exclusive to open communication in the bedroom.

Are you saying that once a woman agrees to sex she has no right to change her mind, even if the sex becomes painful?

 

[Titanic]

I know I am off topic but is anybody going to reply to my post?

 

[Titanic]

I make a important statement.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

You were pretend quoting me pretending me to make deliberately sexist accusations.

And of course it stopped. My partner stopped too. Anyone with minimum care stops. Its just depending on the position and several factors it has a reaction time. Thats all.

Or do you think e people that keep walking after the music stops wanted to lose the game? You think ey did it on purpose? Bcause you havent explained that either.

I can quote you videos on youtube where people lag their reaction, butis it really necessary?

There's that jello again, MM.

What the hell is your argument? Do you agree with Rev Rick that men just can't stop at the drop of a hat? And that the risk is that an innocent person might go to jail on a frivolous rape charge because he or she just couldn't stop in the correct allotted time?

What is your position? Does no mean no? And should the sex stop? Yes or no?

 

[dawny0826]

That's nice to hear. But it's just a fact of life that unfilled people will go elsewhere or if they are respectable, they will divorce, which is a far better option than an affair. Affairs are immoral and filthy.

Yeah. No joke.

And open communication and respect within a relationship can make for a more desirable situation.

If either partner is selfish and concerned only about their own pleasure, the other partner is bound to be unhappy with intimate relations. You've stated on multiple occasions how disgusting it is for someone to put the axe on sex without good reason.

Well, it's as disgusting for a partner to be unkind, selfish and to have unfair expectations of his/her partner.

What you define as contempt, comes in an array of "flavors".

 

[Titanic]

i said this on a different thread but i do not think anyone replied to it, so i will post it again. I was raised to believe that sex and women were evil and nasty. It messed me up for a while, does anyone have any thought's on that. Again i know i am off topic but i am off of my computer so i can not make a new thread so sorry.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

i said this on a different thread but i do not think anyone replied to it, so i will post it again. I was raised to believe that sex and women were evil and nasty. It messed me up for a while, does anyone have any thought's on that. Again i know i am off topic but i am off of my computer so i can not make a new thread so sorry.

I think that's sad. I hope you are finding peace with sex and with women.

 

[sunni56]

The statistics for motivations for extra-marital affairs tell a different story.

The whole point of marriage is to be able to work together as a partnership, which includes but is not exclusive to open communication in the bedroom.

Are you saying that once a woman agrees to sex she has no right to change her mind, even if the sex becomes painful?

No. I clearly said that there must be a very good reason, pain is obviously a good reason. But stopping without a good excuse is contempt, there's no question about that.

 

[Me Myself]

There's that jello again, MM.

Thats neither answer nor argument

There's that jello again, MM.

What the hell is your argument? Do you agree with Rev Rick that men just can't stop at the drop of a hat?

Wo/men qre not dildos. They should stop as soon as their reaction time allows. Depending on several factors, this may very wellot be instantly.

Again, why do you think the mental working is different between a game of musical chairs where you are EXPECTING a SPECIFIC something to happen so you stop movi, and yet people move a bitaftwr this something happens than with sex where while you pay attenton, many different directions both verbal and physical will take place and there will still be a reaction time to all this.

You have not explained this. You have said "jello" and made caricaturisations of mere facts that ñi am telling you.

And that the risk is that an innocent person might go to jail on a frivolous rape charge because he or she just couldn't stop in the correct allotted time?

What is your position? Does no mean no? And should the sex stop? Yes or no?

Unless special conditions (like bdsm mutually consented, andif both are smart with a safe word) no means no.

I am just reminding you that reaction time differs from action to action and person and person, and that for it to be rape, it must be deliberate continuation of the sexual act after understanding the consent has been withdrawn.

Now take your time to read and understand what you disregarded as "jello" if you do care to have an honest discussion.