When Can Someone Change His or Her Consent to Sex?

[Me Myself]

Then why don't we stop debating each other?

Momentum?

You stop first :flirt:

 

[Alceste]

Here you go...

I guess no one has ever experienced overwhelming passion before? Has your eyes ever rolled in the back of your head and you had an out of body experience?

I asked this in another thread but no one made a comment, how long is acceptable a time to stop?

If it took you a few seconds to realise what was going on and that your partner wanted you to stop, would it be rape if it took you 5 or 10 seconds to stop?


How long does it take a runner to come to a full stop if they are sprinting? A step or two right?

Dat true too.

For it to be rape it needs to be purposeful unconsented. There are stuff that take a bit of time to stop and if the partner is really focused s/he may take time to realise what the other is saying.

And for springing a lot more than a step, but thats me

I don't know - "ouch, get off me" gives me a pretty immediate change of attitude. After all, if I'm trying to give my partner pleasure, why would I have trouble stopping at the moment he or she indicated what I'm doing isn't working?

Count to ten seconds while inflicting pain on your genitals and then tell me if you think that's a fair amount of time. Maybe borrow some dentures for the exercise and clamp them down.

 

[Me Myself]

"For it to be rape it needs to be purposefully unconsented" ?

Oh yes I see what you would like to debate about that.

Then i replied to that statement of yours with me having had to wait a second or two in some pain with my partner to which you asked if it was ten seconds and I told you I wasnt precisely counting as I squirmed, but in any case, where do I say there is a 10 second rule? It has nothing to do with the time and everytng to do with the intention and honest reaction. If you can st immidiately then thats exactly what you should do, if you realized two strokes later then you stop then.

As I said "For it to be rape it needs to be purposefully unconsented". I honestly dont see how that opening line is confusing.

 

[Koldo]

Whatever. I've been with a lot of men and a few women from various walks of life with various temperaments, and I've never personally observed a noticeable lag between communicating something and being understood and reacted to. Most people even stop and check in from time to time to make sure I'm enjoying myself. So either this silliness about taking up to ten seconds to react is nonsense, or I'm an unusually good judge of character.

The latter.
It should actually take far less than 10 seconds nearly always.
It really depends on how excited the man is and how fast the action is going.
Even so it shouldn't take more than 5 seconds.

EDIT: Oh, and whether he is drunk.

 

[Alceste]

"For it to be rape it needs to be purposefully unconsented" ?

Oh yes I see what you would like to debate about that.

Then i replied to that statement of yours with me having had to wait a second or two in some pain with my partner to which you asked if it was ten seconds and I told you I wasnt precisely counting as I squirmed, but in any case, where do I say there is a 10 second rule? It has nothing to do with the time and everytng to do with the intention and honest reaction. If you can st immidiately then thats exactly what you should do, if you realized two strokes later then you stop then.

As I said "For it to be rape it needs to be purposefully unconsented". I honestly dont see how that opening line is confusing.

So you agree that Rick's original position that up to ten seconds is a reasonable amount of time to spend getting used to the idea that your partner wants you to stop is indefensible?

If you're not sure, clamp some jumper cables onto your testicles and count to ten before reacting to the discomfort.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Nailing jello to a tree, folks.

"Consent is necessary. But there could be a lag time. Isn't it reasonable to expect your partner to keep going for a bit? Ever sprint and try to stop? Why are you making this about sex? Consent is necessary. You can't stop right away. Let's play musical chairs. I agree with you about how consent is necessary. But be nice to the guy who takes time to stop. Why are you arguing with me?"

This thread is just so bizarre. And no means no, which is bizarre that people are confused by it and it's implications.

 

[Me Myself]

So you agree that Rick's original position that up to ten seconds is a reasonable amount of time to spend getting used to the idea that your partner wants you to stop is indefensible?

If you're not sure, clamp some jumper cables onto your testicles and count to ten before reacting to the discomfort.

I dont know about the timeframe. I just know there is a reaction time. I ve never taken ten seconds not my partner has ever taken ten seconds. Havent been counting though.

I dont believe I was raped simply because she is a breathing human being who takes a pair of deconds before she realised I was hurt while she was focusing on pleasuring me.

The proposition is competely stupid.

 

[Me Myself]

Nailing jello to a tree, folks.

"Consent is necessary. But there could be a lag time. Isn't it reasonable to expect your partner to keep going for a bit? Ever sprint and try to stop? Why are you making this about sex? Consent is necessary. You can't stop right away. Let's play musical chairs. I agree with you about how consent is necessary. But be nice to the guy who takes time to stop. Why are you arguing with me?"

This thread is just so bizarre. And no means no, which is bizarre that people are confused by it and it's implications.

And music stopping means stop moving, yet most people get lag, even when they are rying to win a car.

I dont know why you want to propose a malicious intent is a necessity nor why you insist on thinking only men react slow and not women, as you show by your posts in which you pretend I am saying "give GUYS time to stop" when have I talked about guys? I understand yu have had traumathic experiences, but you keep projecting your traumas on my posts so it is natural that you are not reading comprehensibly.

 

[Koldo]

This thread is just so bizarre. And no means no, which is bizarre that people are confused by it and it's implications.

It is bizarre, because if it weren't for 5 ( or 10 ) seconds, there would be nothing to talk about as ( nearly ) everyone agrees that consent can be withdrawn at any moment during sex.

 

[Me Myself]

It is bizarre, because if it weren't for 5 ( or 10 ) seconds, there would be nothing to talk about as ( nearly ) everyone agrees that consent can be withdrawn at any moment during sex.

The worst part is they are pretending I condone deliberate continuation post consent withdrawal, which ñi havent even hint anywhere on any post.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

And music stopping means stop moving, yet most people get lag, even when they are rying to win a car.

I dont know why you want to propose a malicious intent is a necessity nor why you insist on thinking only men react slow and not women, as you show by your posts in which you pretend I am saying "give GUYS time to stop" when have I talked about guys? I understand yu have had traumathic experiences, but you keep projecting your traumas on my posts so it is natural that you are not reading comprehensibly.

LOL I don't insinuate guys. Read my posts. It was Rev Rick that differentiated men from women.

You don't like that? Take it up with him. I've repeatedly said over and over again gender neutral positions about how culpable both genders are, and any gender differentiation you've read from my posts have been in contention with Ricks position.

So, when is your next anti feminist thread? And how soon can I expect my position to be misrepresented again? I am thinking of creating a drinking game out of these exchanges. Lol

 

[dawny0826]

I dont know about the timeframe. I just know there is a reaction time. I ve never taken ten seconds not my partner has ever taken ten seconds. Havent been counting though.

I dont believe I was raped simply because she is a breathing human being who takes a pair of deconds before she realised I was hurt while she was focusing on pleasuring me.

The prosition is competely stupid.

Forgive me, but, I've NEVER known a man who has needed any specific amount of time to process what I've requested and I've stopped sexual encounters before for a variety of reasons.

The intent of my partner has always been known to me pretty immediately. A pause...a puzzled look...no problem. I know my partner is human and may be confused or even frustrated.

It's the failure to stop that makes all the difference. It really doesn't matter if it takes you ten seconds to react as long as you're reacting in the correct manner and that's going to be QUITE evident to her through your mannerisms and body language.

This isn't rocket science.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

It is bizarre, because if it weren't for 5 ( or 10 ) seconds, there would be nothing to talk about as ( nearly ) everyone agrees that consent can be withdrawn at any moment during sex.

3 year olds can stop when prompted.

Somehow people think that stopping right away isn't possible.

 

[sunni56]

Forgive me, but, I've NEVER known a man who has needed any specific a amount of time to process what I've requested and I've stopped sexual encounters before for a variety of reasons.

The intent of my partner has always been known to me pretty immediately. A pause...a puzzled look...no problem. I know my partner is human and may be confused or even frustrated.

It's the failure to stop that makes all the difference. It doesn't matter if it takes you ten seconds to react as long as you're reacting in the correct manner.

That's pretty disgusting behaviour tbh. I think it's very bad etiquette to force someone to stop without a very good excuse. It shows nothing but contempt for your partner. If you really didn't like them that much, things shouldn't have got that far in the first place.

 

[Aquitaine]

Does a person have a right to change his or her consent to sex after penetration, but before orgasm? That is, if a person gives his or her consent to sex, can he or she withdraw that consent after penetration, but before orgasm?

Seems pretty straightforward to me - no means no.

 

[Aquitaine]

That's pretty disgusting behaviour tbh. I think it's very bad etiquette to force someone to stop without a very good excuse. It shows nothing but contempt for your partner. If you really didn't like them that much, things shouldn't have got that far in the first place.

Is concern, discomfort or pain on behalf of the recipient not a very good excuse?

 

[Me Myself]

3 year olds can stop when prompted.

Somehow people think that stopping right away isn't possible.

Depends on the action and the person. Also, the three year olds were expecting the music to sotp, it was part of the game. A person being told to stop by her/his partner may be taken completely by surprise depending on the timing in which they say so. The surprise causes mental stun, and the body keeps doing the repetitive motion it was doing until the mind resolves to stop. Also, thiings can confuse people.

If we are plang a game of speed and I tell you to count the number of fingers in my right hand and I was going one, two three four, two, four two four, two one one five one then raise m left hand, etc, the reactions will be much slower as the pattern is broken, and the person WILL say two after the four if ñi had gone two four two four for a good time even if I display a five. Why? The pattern.

If you are jogging and I tell you to stop on my mark, and ñi stop with you each time but on another one I DONT stop, you mig keep walking a bit before stopping because my body language continued similarly even though my verbal language changed.

In those two examples, it is a different thing that changes, but as you are conditioned for a pattern you ll stop it when you realise you have to stop. Ts tends to be quick, but not immidiate.

 

[dawny0826]

That's pretty disgusting behaviour tbh. I think it's very bad etiquette to force someone to stop without a very good excuse. It shows nothing but contempt for your partner. If you really didn't like them that much, things shouldn't have got that far in the first place.

What the hell ever. I'm a married adult woman. My husband and I are very much in love and have the utmost respect for each other. We cherish our intimate time together.

My body will always belong to me. No means no.

Your opinions come across as rather selfish. For the record...there's always masturbation. Sometimes, that's the most mature alternative.

 

[Me Myself]

That's pretty disgusting behaviour tbh. I think it's very bad etiquette to force someone to stop without a very good excuse. It shows nothing but contempt for your partner. If you really didn't like them that much, things shouldn't have got that far in the first place.

Inviting someone to dinner at your house and then telling him to get out is terrible ettiquete, but it is still your house and if the person tries to stay you can call the cops.

Sex is more intimate and messy anyways. You get to be more "selfish" when it is your body.

 

[sunni56]

What the hell ever. I'm a married adult woman. My husband and I are very much in love and have the utmost respect for each other. We cherish our intimate time together.

My body will always belong to me. No means no.

Your opinions come across as rather selfish. For the record...there's always masturbation. Sometimes, that's the most mature alternative.

Actually there is another alternative. Your husband sleeps with another woman because he's just not satisfied with you. Most extra-marital affairs happen because one-partner refuses to put out or turns the whole thing into a joke. The fact of the matter is, playing around with this intimate part of life is a recipe for disaster.