When Can Someone Change His or Her Consent to Sex?

[sunni56]

Yeah. No joke.

And open communication and respect within a relationship can make for a more desirable situation.

If either partner is selfish and concerned only about their own pleasure, the other partner is bound to be unhappy with intimate relations. You've stated on multiple occasions how disgusting it is for someone to put the axe on sex without good reason.

Well, it's as disgusting for a partner to be unkind, selfish and to have unfair expectations of his/her partner.

What you define as contempt, comes in an array of "flavors".

I agree with that yeah.

 

[Me Myself]

i said this on a different thread but i do not think anyone replied to it, so i will post it again. I was raised to believe that sex and women were evil and nasty. It messed me up for a while, does anyone have any thought's on that. Again i know i am off topic but i am off of my computer so i can not make a new thread so sorry.

Sounds tough. Hope it gets better.

Maybe you could make a thread about it somewhere if you want to put it out of yours system and want some more thoughtful input

 

[dawny0826]

No. I clearly said that there must be a very good reason, pain is obviously a good reason. But stopping without a good excuse is contempt, there's no question about that.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with you at all, which is what genuine contempt would suggest and your partner just isn't in the frame of mind to continue.

If one partner is defining what a "good" reason is without allowing the other partner to provide input, there's a clear disconnect with communication anyway.

If there aren't open lines of communication - happiness may very well lack.

 

[Me Myself]

No. I clearly said that there must be a very good reason, pain is obviously a good reason. But stopping without a good excuse is contempt, there's no question about that.

I agree that bblue balling a guy just for the sake of it its not cool, but they still can do it if they want, the same way ñi can invite someone to come in my house and tell him to get the eff out in the same second he gets in.

Then again, people that like to toy with other peoples desire towards them generally dont even start the sexual encounter, I would be highly skeptical about it being anywhere near common than a woman says no imid sex simply to be an a hole.

If they say it, it is likely they felt it and felt it really important.

 

[Titanic]

Sounds tough. Hope it gets better.

Maybe you could make a thread about it somewhere if you want to put it out of yours system and want some more thoughtful input

thank you, I guess i will make a thread about it when i get back on my computer. I was raised in a weird home guy's and girl's i really was.

 

[Titanic]

I think that's sad. I hope you are finding peace with sex and with women.

thank you, it is sad, most people i know think i am gay. I am very passionate about the LGBT community so my family thinks i am gay cause of it. thank you again.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Thats neither answer nor argument

Neither has been a lot of your posts here, to be frank.

Wo/men qre not dildos. They should stop as soon as their reaction time allows. Depending on several factors, this may very wellot be instantly.

Again, why do you think the mental working is different between a game of musical chairs where you are EXPECTING a SPECIFIC something to happen so you stop movi, and yet people move a bitaftwr this something happens than with sex where while you pay attenton, many different directions both verbal and physical will take place and there will still be a reaction time to all this.

You have not explained this. You have said "jello" and made caricaturisations of mere facts that ñi am telling you.

Because in my experience in musical chairs and in the freeze dance and in sex....the moment somebody says "STOP", the actions STOP immediately. I'm sorry, but you have ignored that, and you're talking to a professional instructor and a mother of four AND a very experienced lover who has yet to have a lag in reaction time with any of her lovers on my end or theirs.

That is, except for when I was raped. But I do know the difference there between what consent looks like and what it clearly doesn't look like.

Unless special conditions (like bdsm mutually consented, andif both are smart with a safe word) no means no.

I am just reminding you that reaction time differs from action to action and person and person, and that for it to be rape, it must be deliberate continuation of the sexual act after understanding the consent has been withdrawn.

Yes, deliberate. But you're still arguing that there could be a lag time. I'm saying it hasn't happened in my consensual experiences. I can think of one time where I was making out, but the room was stifling hot and I felt like I was choking. I said, "Wait, stop!" His lips didn't move from my face, but he stopped kissing me right away.

That's the most I can remember where reaction time had anything to do with my experience. Otherwise, the reaction was instant.

Now take your time to read and understand what you disregarded as "jello" if you do care to have an honest discussion.

What a joke. Pot, meet kettle. Quite a few others in this thread don't seem to have a problem understanding my posts, nor questioning my honesty. But yours have been put under the microscope by not just me, so look around, MM. Think about what you're arguing and what you're focusing on as pertinent to the debate.

 

[sunni56]

i said this on a different thread but i do not think anyone replied to it, so i will post it again. I was raised to believe that sex and women were evil and nasty. It messed me up for a while, does anyone have any thought's on that. Again i know i am off topic but i am off of my computer so i can not make a new thread so sorry.

That's pretty vile. I hope you manage to lose those beliefs as sex isn't a sin or evil and it is not just for pro-creation, it is also for recreation. And as for thinking that women are evil and nasty, well, who gave birth to you? Certainly wasn't a man, and I'm sure she wasn't evil and nasty I think all men who think evil thoughts about women should remember that it is their own mother they are talking about. I hope you manage to put those things behind you.

 

[Me Myself]

So you are telling me you have never seen one single person keep dancing after the music stops in a musical chair game and if they did it would be on purpose because the three year olds with which ou play the game allegedly have such instant reaction?

 

[dawny0826]

So you are telling me you have never seen one single person keep dancing after the music stops in a musical chair game and if they did it would be on purpose because the three year olds with which ou play the game allegedly have such instant reaction?

No, I have not. I haven't seen this ridiculousness with a cake walk, either. Reaction is immediate, because people are paying attention to the music. They're ready to stop...ready to run and sit.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

So you are telling me you have never seen one single person keep dancing after the music stops in a musical chair game and if they did it would be on purpose because the three year olds with which ou play the game allegedly have such instant reaction?

In 25 years of instruction? Not more than a fraction of a second, which in my book is instantaneous reaction. 3 year olds stop the moment the music stops. They go the instant the music comes back on. They run when I tell them to run. The moment a child begins to cry and grab his or her foot or knee I stop the music and see how they're doing.

Musical chairs? Instant. People run and try to sit the instant the music stops.

Sex? Instant. But that's because the vast majority of my lovers and I give a damn about each other.

 

[Alceste]

I dont know about the timeframe. I just know there is a reaction time. I ve never taken ten seconds not my partner has ever taken ten seconds. Havent been counting though.

I dont believe I was raped simply because she is a breathing human being who takes a pair of deconds before she realised I was hurt while she was focusing on pleasuring me.

The proposition is competely stupid.

Nobody made that proposition except Rick, whose pointless nitpicking you have been defending this entire time.

 

[Alceste]

LOL I don't insinuate guys. Read my posts. It was Rev Rick that differentiated men from women.

You don't like that? Take it up with him. I've repeatedly said over and over again gender neutral positions about how culpable both genders are, and any gender differentiation you've read from my posts have been in contention with Ricks position.

So, when is your next anti feminist thread? And how soon can I expect my position to be misrepresented again? I am thinking of creating a drinking game out of these exchanges. Lol

Oh! Can I play?

 

[Alceste]

That's pretty disgusting behaviour tbh. I think it's very bad etiquette to force someone to stop without a very good excuse. It shows nothing but contempt for your partner. If you really didn't like them that much, things shouldn't have got that far in the first place.

Why assume it's not a good reason?

Let's say I clamp your testicles in a vice grip. Is there any good reason to ask me to stop?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Oh! Can I play?

Sure! And for ****s and giggles, I'm bringing the Jell-O shots.

 

[Alceste]

That's nice to hear. But it's just a fact of life that unfilled people will go elsewhere or if they are respectable, they will divorce, which is a far better option than an affair. Affairs are immoral and filthy.

Then don't have an affair. It's not that complicated, and it's not your wife's job to keep you from acting immoral and filthy.

Jeez. Take responsibility for yourself, man. You're acting like a child. Everything has to be somebody else's fault.

 

[Alceste]

Sure! And for ****s and giggles, I'm bringing the Jell-O shots.

I'll bring some nails.

 

[Me Myself]

No, I have not. I haven't seen this ridiculousness with a cake walk, either. Reaction is immediate, because people are paying attention to the music. They're ready to stop...ready to run and sit.

Well, first video and first music stop :



http://youtu.be/nB9mSasB4Qk



The guy who jumps that has no sleeves jumps two to three times after music stops.

Those are three easy strokes after a "stop"

Keep in mind he was WAITING for the music to stop, with NO DISTRACTION for that action.

Having a single specific response to a single specific stimuli is one of the simplests forms of reaction.

In sex, you have the distraction of your own pleasure ( which will always slow your reation time) you are NOT waiting for the person to say "stop" at any moment and while you do are paying attention to your partner, you will comply to commands which are unexpected, this means that s/he will have to make choices and react differently to a lot of otherossible commands like "hit harder" "go slower" " go faster" " keep doing it" "yeah baby" " right there" "to the left" "did you lock the door?" etc.

Now, the reaction was still be fast, those were one or two seconds, but it was three jumps, to a much simpler reaction test that what can happen mid sex.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

ROFL the video shows just how fast people react to the music. It really doesn't help your case at all. Even the guy jumping around reacted within half a second. :biglaugh:

 

[dawny0826]

Well, first video and first music stop :



Musical Chairs at SWVA Gaming for an Antec HCP-750 Power Supply - YouTube



The guy who jumps that has no sleeves jumps two to three times after music stops.

Those are three easy strokes after a "stop"

Keep in mind he was WAITING for the music to stop, with NO DISTRACTION for that action.

Having a single specific response to a single specific stimuli is one of the simplests forms of reaction.

In sex, you have the distraction of your own pleasure ( which will always slow your reation time) you are NOT waiting for the person to say "stop" at any moment and while you do are paying attention to your partner, you will comply to commands which are unexpected, this means that s/he will have to make choices and react differently to a lot of otherossible commands like "hit harder" "go slower" " go faster" " keep doing it" "yeah baby" " right there" "to the left" "did you lock the door?" etc.

Now, the reaction was still be fast, those were one or two seconds, but it was three jumps, to a much simpler reaction test that what can happen mid sex.

I won't waste my time clicking on this link, because this entire argument is asinine in terms of consent and rape.

The well meaning partner will stop if asked to stop and reaction time will be a non issue. If it genuinely took you X number of seconds precisely to process what she is saying...she might repeat herself. Well, okay. As long as you're reacting in the manner that she has asked you to, there shouldn't be a problem.

And the majority of people on this thread, myself included, have not, in their intimate encounters, experienced a problem with this "reaction time" to where we'd be apt to accuse our partner of rape. I would think that this would come as a relief to you and other men.

As I've mentioned, most level-headed people who are intimate aren't out to destroy each other. Communication and understanding can usually be achieved.

Unless you're a numbskull and lose all sense of reality during intimacy...this shouldn't be an issue. You should be able to enjoy the heat of the moment and also pay attention.

You're perceiving something that wouldn't translate to being an issue unless you went out of your way to ignore the wishes of your partner.