Why are Christians so sexually insecure?

[McBell]

Maybe you guys translate the word "wife" differently than I do.

Fair enough.

 

[Cassiopia]

Ok I have to say from the start that as a non christian I don't take biblical texts as truth in themselves. But even taking it as stated; the implication is that they became "married" by having sex.

 

[Madtown]

There was nothing, God created the institution of marriage with Adam & Eve

Clearly early humans were able to procreate, otherwise none of us would be here. I wonder if there's evidence that Homo Erectus, Neanderthal man, modern Homo Sapien, etc, had traditions similar to marriage? Otherwise, seems like biological reproduction would be the main reason God gifted us with the act.

 

[Majikthise]

This is a big turn-off (excuse the pun) to Christianity for me which is a shame as some of the philosophy is good.

Surely men and women were made with biological instincts so what's the problem with the Christians and what are they scared of?

You never met some of the christian girls I have.:flirt:

 

[pwfaith]

Clearly early humans were able to procreate, otherwise none of us would be here. I wonder if there's evidence that Homo Erectus, Neanderthal man, modern Homo Sapien, etc, had traditions similar to marriage? Otherwise, seems like biological reproduction would be the main reason God gifted us with the act.

I see it as one reason among many. I don't think any of the reason are in a competition with each other or anything Sex has many benefits to an individual and couple aside from procreation. If the main reason (or only reason as some believe) were only for procreation why is the desire there at other times of the month than fertile days for men and women. IMO it fulfills a deeper, stronger need than just procreation.

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1 Corinthians 7:2-5. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

[/FONT]​

To me this says there's more to sex than just procreation. Again, I don't think there is a "main reason" for it. Of course procreation is an important reason - as you said, we wouldn't be here without it however, I can only speak for myself and us as a couple, there are benefits to sex that greatly outweigh the procreation aspect for us as individuals and as a couple. Our marriage certainly would not be where it is today without the bond of sexual interaction.

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[ChristineES]

I don't think "being able to do something" means that one should just go off a do it without thought. There has to be responsibility when it comes to sex, because people get STDs and HIV, they can have unwanted pregnancies, there is a chance that a person can become emotionally attached to someone they have been intimate with, and the other person doesn't feel the same way- to him or her, it was just sex.

That is my honest opinion about this.

 

[nnmartin]

I think it about time that a Christian should give us a psychological reason as to why abstinence helps the mind. Biblical quotes do not do that.

 

[9Westy9]

When you believe that a book is completely 'God breathed' You tend to be unable to see things objectively, instead you seem forced to believe something no matter the evidence one way or the other.

 

[Looncall]

I see it as one reason among many. I don't think any of the reason are in a competition with each other or anything Sex has many benefits to an individual and couple aside from procreation. If the main reason (or only reason as some believe) were only for procreation why is the desire there at other times of the month than fertile days for men and women. IMO it fulfills a deeper, stronger need than just procreation.

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1 Corinthians 7:2-5. [/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

[/FONT]​

To me this says there's more to sex than just procreation. Again, I don't think there is a "main reason" for it. Of course procreation is an important reason - as you said, we wouldn't be here without it however, I can only speak for myself and us as a couple, there are benefits to sex that greatly outweigh the procreation aspect for us as individuals and as a couple. Our marriage certainly would not be where it is today without the bond of sexual interaction.

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I think "sex is only for procreation" is nonsense, as you so very eloquently pointed out. I am sure that it is just a scam used by clerics to make people feel guilty and so keep the pews and collection plates full.

 

[Kathryn]

I think it about time that a Christian should give us a psychological reason as to why abstinence helps the mind. Biblical quotes do not do that.

Here are some psychological reasons:

No concern about unwanted or unplanned pregnancies

Peace of mind about STDs

Less complicated dating and casual relationships (don't even try to tell me that adding sex to casual, or non committed relationships doesn't add complications)

Life plans which are not sidetracked by sexual mistakes.

 

[Heathen Hammer]

I'm not sure what the purpose of a casual relationship would be, if you take out the sex

 

[heretic]

seeming that Christianity developed from Paganism why are most Christians so hung up on the sex issue? Correct me if I"m wrong but I'm sure this isn't the case with Paganism.

For instance, pre-marital sex is NOT banned in Paganism, right?

I know you can interpret the Bible in many ways but the general consensus among most Christians is that Pre-marital and homosexuality is a big no no (even though Jesus certainly never directly mentions pre-marital).

This is a big turn-off (excuse the pun) to Christianity for me which is a shame as some of the philosophy is good.

Surely men and women were made with biological instincts so what's the problem with the Christians and what are they scared of?

Sure it's not socially healthy to have sex with no rules or a frame, if so what is the difference between human and animal ?

 

[nnmartin]

Here are some psychological reasons:

No concern about unwanted or unplanned pregnancies

Peace of mind about STDs

Less complicated dating and casual relationships (don't even try to tell me that adding sex to casual, or non committed relationships doesn't add complications)

Life plans which are not sidetracked by sexual mistakes.

ever heard of condoms?


so with the peace of mind of using contraception can you give us a real psychological benefit?

Providing a statistic of contraception not working hardly counts by the way.

thanks

 

[pwfaith]

Kathryn[/B]]Here are some psychological reasons:

No concern about unwanted or unplanned pregnancies

Peace of mind about STDs

Less complicated dating and casual relationships (don't even try to tell me that adding sex to casual, or non committed relationships doesn't add complications)

Life plans which are not sidetracked by sexual mistakes.

ever heard of condoms?


so with the peace of mind of using contraception can you give us a real psychological benefit?

Providing a statistic of contraception not working hardly counts by the way.

thanks

We've been using condoms for the better part of our 12 yr marriage. The only one I can see that condoms would truly give piece of mind to is STD's. Condoms are useful for reducing the risk of disease & pregnancy, but NOT nullifying the possibility. With or without contraceptives it is the emotional/intimate connection sex often creates in a relationship that then complicates things. Condoms do not offer 100% safety in any of these areas. Anyone who thinks so is fooling themselves. They can break and/or come off - happens more than you might think. Where's the protection then?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Majikthise stole my answer.

I've known quite a few VERY sexually secure Christians.

VERY secure. And very awesome.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

Sex has been around far longer than Christianity.
it has been around far longer than Human kind.
I do not think God has many thoughts about it at all.
It was certainly necessary for the propagation of the species.
It Gives pleasure and comfort and can form bonds between partners.

Marriage, in particular, Christian religious marriage, came late to many peoples.
It was an invention of the Church.
It was the final act of control over peoples lives by the Church.
It defined not only relationships but what could be done in those relationships but also their duration.
Unfettered Sex was at last controlled and officially sinful.

In fathering Jesus to an unmarried girl, God showed us that the prevailing sexual norms of the day were not inviolable, and pregnancy out of wedlock was not a cause for shame.

He did not confirm the prevailing rules he broke them.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

I'm curious to know what exactly a sexually insecure person is given the context it's being used in this case. I've only heard similar terminology used for people who felt insecure about themselves and their body in the bedroom.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I'm not sure what the purpose of a casual relationship would be, if you take out the sex

Platonic.

It removes sexual tension better than sex because it actualizes a moral ideal.

So the relationship is truly casual, free from all distress.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I'm curious to know what exactly a sexually insecure person is given the context it's being used in this case. I've only heard similar terminology used for people who felt insecure about themselves and their body in the bedroom.

Sexual insecurity is difficult to define because it's symptomatic.

For example, being irrationally afraid to eat bacon while having sex is demonstrative of sexual insecurity.

 

[Heathen Hammer]

Platonic.

It removes sexual tension better than sex because it actualizes a moral ideal.

So the relationship is truly casual, free from all distress.

There's no reason to distinguish it by the label 'casual' then, since we have such 'relationships' with various people already, without that moniker. For example, your boss, your mailman.

'Casual' in current usage still implies a romance. And a romance which denies sexuality is doomed to fail, since romance requires communication, and sexuality is an integral part of communication.